kellyisblonde Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Hi, I really just need to vent... since I had no one to vent to. I don’t even know where to start. Im not lonely but I am, I cant explain, I know people but I don’t feel like I have a true connection with them. I don’t mind being alone, but sometimes I wish I was out. Then there are the times where I am out and I wish I was back by myself. Sometimes its like I'm more worried about what other people think about me. I know its so stupid and I get mad at thinking that way but I can't seem to help it. I feel like I am able to converse with people but it doesnt result in friendships. The little friendships I do have are struggling, I have no idea what I can do to avoid this. Im constantly the one calling and trying to make plans.. It results in not getting called back or being ignored and its starting to take a toll on me. My plan is always simple: find people worth having friendships with. But its not as easy as i think. Im sick of trying so hard and having to cover up that Im trying so hard with people. I feel like Im going insane. The best friend I had moved an hour away and that friendship is fading. I hate wallowing in my self pity and most of the time when I bring myself up everything is ok. But times (such as now) when I get this deep pitting feeling in my chest I don't know waht to do with myself. The bad feelings are happening more often and for longer peroids of time. I try so hard to release myself from these feelings but it's so much harder than words. To anyone who takes the time to read this, thank you.
Keridan Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I have had a few periods in my life where I shared these feelings and fears. I know you are just venting, but I'm wondering a couple things. Have you tried any social hobbies? I met a lot of people by joining a pool league. I have friends who got into martial arts or took classes in art or cooking. Those things started with common ground and led to meeting new people. I was also wondering how old you are and if you work or go to school? I've had these feelings in both parts of my life, but the worst was always when I was in school and it got better later. I really am sorry you are feeling this way! I hope things get better for you!
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