lostanddazed Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Well my story is as follows.. My girl lived with me nearly 6 years.. she breaks up with me saying she needs to be single..and shes confused about life..yadda yadda.. 2 months of spliting.. we still talk say we miss and love each other..she still has sex with me, kisses me telling me she wants me back..Come to find out she had been having sex with someone else the whole time..even while we were still together. I did something everyone suggest you shouldnt do.. which was send her one big FU email. That she is a peice of trash.. and if you wanted to date someone else thats cool, but the way handled it..was ****ed up..did you expect me to be some kinda back up plan??told her she's dead to me.. and delete all my photos off her facebook, because I dont want to be associated with scum like her.I felt good getting it off my chest. Ya dignity this... but I got pride.. and when someone wrongs you.. you let them know. Something I will never get an answer to is why when dating someone else.. tell me you love me.. miss me.. and still sleeping with me. Something that been helping me.. not sure if this will be useful to anyone else.. I sent the FU email.. first and foremost is because I would never be with that girl again. This was one way to ensure that. Next blocked her from my facebook, so she cant see my photos.. Then report her email as spam.. so in case she emails me I wont be tempted to read it.. and buy into half the **** she says. Change phone number.. so she cant call.. and Luckily I got transfered in my job so she doesnt have my work number. ya it hurts like hell, but I finally realized today.. I am better off. My ego has taken a big hit.. I am sure this is what everyone feels.. not loss, not sadness, But when your ego gets nailed to the floor.. it brings on all these other feelings. Best to get rid of ANYTHING that may tempt you to even think of her.. Use to watch shows together?? start watching new shows.. Use to cuddle with her to sleep? get a damn pillow. She loved the way your cologne smelled?? time for a new cologne. The shirt you wear thats her favorite.. BURN IT You get the point.. You got to build your ego back up.. best way to do this I suppose is hanging around people that are worse off then you.. Im going to try volunteering at a homeless shelter. Things like this to let you know... you don't have it so bad. I am no therapist.. but I would assume through common sense.. that hanging on is pointless. I know I will think of her often..But the things she did was unforgivable.. to be able to toy with someones feelings like that.. something I would never be able to do to another human being. So in the end people.. SCREW THEM.. better to be single and ready to mingle.. then locked down to a vindictive, manipulative piece of trash.. Sorry this came out kinda harsh.. but im venting
IfiKnewThen Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 sometimes i wonder if those who do things like this arent better off for it and have the right idea! i still have the colone he wore pictures emails, etc. i know what you mean about changing the TV shows you watch too. every darn thing reminds me of him. i am so darn sentimental..i always kept everything in my life. have such a hard time letting go. and they let go like its nothing. i was just thinking to myself tonight, before i read this... how can he act like i never existed? he is a complete stranger to me now. how could he have detached myself so completely? could this be true? it boggles the mind..how you can erase someone after 10 years of talking to them EVERYDAY 24/7. now poof.......... like you dont exist at all and NEVER EVER did. i wish i could just disconnect like that. i know in time, it will go away. i feel he ruined so many things for me. programs i loved on tv..now bring back pain. old movies i loved and were childhood memories to me....i shared those things with him and now they remind me of him instead of my childhood. feel so many things lost to me. so sad and angry all at once. i know how you feel. you probably did the best thing if she hurt you that bad....i guess. i do believe in forgiving and making peace with things. but sometimes you have to cut things out like a bad disease.
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I'm sorry this happened, but I think you handled everything really well considering the circumstances. It would be different if she hadn't have lied to you and misled you. Her actions are inexcusable and you did the right thing. You could always hang on, keep talking to her, obsess about what she's doing, what she's thinking...but handling it that way would never leave any space for you to heal from this. Your anger is totally appropriate given the situation. It takes a lot of strength to cut off ties the way you have, and you should be proud of yourself for being so strong.
0hpenelope Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 It's not harsh, bro. You're angry and you should be angry for being used like that. That must've been a sight to behold. People in general don't like being told that they're wrong, but you went ahead and called her out on it in the way you meant it. That's freaking awesome. You know, I think I'm going to let myself be really angry at my ex too. I keep thinking about things. You know how some people have certain centers? Calm center, etc.? I just might happen to have an angry center.
Author lostanddazed Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 sometimes i wonder if those who do things like this arent better off for it and have the right idea! i still have the colone he wore pictures emails, etc. i know what you mean about changing the TV shows you watch too. every darn thing reminds me of him. i am so darn sentimental..i always kept everything in my life. have such a hard time letting go. and they let go like its nothing. i was just thinking to myself tonight, before i read this... how can he act like i never existed? he is a complete stranger to me now. how could he have detached myself so completely? could this be true? it boggles the mind..how you can erase someone after 10 years of talking to them EVERYDAY 24/7. now poof.......... like you dont exist at all and NEVER EVER did. i wish i could just disconnect like that. i know in time, it will go away. i feel he ruined so many things for me. programs i loved on tv..now bring back pain. old movies i loved and were childhood memories to me....i shared those things with him and now they remind me of him instead of my childhood. feel so many things lost to me. so sad and angry all at once. i know how you feel. you probably did the best thing if she hurt you that bad....i guess. i do believe in forgiving and making peace with things. but sometimes you have to cut things out like a bad disease. Trust me It was no easy task for me to do this. I had to ask myself the question... do I want to be reminded? The answer was no.. filling up the garbage bag was hard.. i even had tears..and I am not a crying man. Quite the opposite in fact.. im usually a very cold hearted guy. There something I was able to think about as well.. that is.. No one has the ability to hurt us... we only have the ability to hurt ourselves.. meaning stop reaching.. except things the way the are.. and give up hope that you will be reunited. Pretend they are already married, and there is no more life with them. Accept the facts. Also, for guys..not sure if this works for women to.. but when I fight.. Im training for MMA.. it releases so much stress for me.. allows me to really let out this rage. thats been helping me the whole 2 months of all this. and lastly... Pretend your life as it is right now was a movie..what would you think about that movie? what would you say to that person hanging on in the movie?? what would you think of the ex in that movie?? You would think the same thing I would... get over that ahole/bitch.. and move the f on.
Author lostanddazed Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 It's not harsh, bro. You're angry and you should be angry for being used like that. That must've been a sight to behold. People in general don't like being told that they're wrong, but you went ahead and called her out on it in the way you meant it. That's freaking awesome. You know, I think I'm going to let myself be really angry at my ex too. I keep thinking about things. You know how some people have certain centers? Calm center, etc.? I just might happen to have an angry center. Exactly... why let them think they did nothing wrong.. why should they think they got away with something scott free. Let them know there not as smart as they think they are.. let them know what a piece of trash they are.. I know my ex and I know right now she feels like a piece of dirt..Maybe just maybe.. thats why im taking it so good right now.. Misery loves company.
IfiKnewThen Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 [quote Pretend they are already married, and there is no more life with them. Accept the facts. i dont have to pretend. he got married 6 months after the break up and said he only knew her for 4 months. they bought a house together too, plus he got her up here from mexico. all this in 4 months flat. i cant even describe what i feel for him now. i do see him as a coward, for not telling me any of this and trying to hit on me too 3 days before the wedding. i forgive him though in a sense because he was so so good to me for 10 years. BUT this new guy is a jerk and i will always see him as a bit of that now. he wwent from semi saint to jerk overnight.
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