Justme888 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Ok, so here is the long story made short. I am in my late twenties and keep coming across these guys that turn out to be so abnormal. I will share the most recent mind boggling experience in hopes of some answers. I am probably just wasting my time thinking about this one because everyone keeps telling me the guy obviously has some social issues! So I met this guy on Halloween and we both danced for hours and then kissed. We exchanged numbers and went our seperate ways. After about a week of communication and him telling me that he had fun and I was really pretty we made a date. This was about 3 weeks after meeting. The morning of our date I received an email from him that he had to cancel because he couldnt commit to starting a relationship because he was focusing on work and grad school ( it wasn't like I was asking for his hand in marriage, it was the first date!!). So I was pretty upset because he interested me and then just blew me off like that. So naturally I felt that he may have had GF and didnt think about it again till he started contacting me like crazy two weeks later. So I gave him another chance against my better judgement. So we communicate even more than in the past and then on the week of NYE he invites me to go with him out of state to NYE party. I explained to him that it just wasnt possible. So on the night of new years eve he had apologized for cancelling on me and also told me that he really liked me and wanted to be with me tha night. A couple days later he asked me on another date and went on and on again telling me that he liked me and that I was pretty with a great personality. So I agreed to the date and drove over an hour to go out on our date. As I thought it was going well it seemed like he was a bit distracted but still was having a decent time. Then I got confused because he didnt try to kiss me, hold my hand or ask me anything personal about my past relationships. He even sleep next to me the entire night and if he bumped into me he apologized. The next morning when I left he barely hugged me and was so stand offish. So as I was trying not to think about much I am noticing that he had barely said anything the day I left and has been quiet since. I emailed him saying that it was ok if he didnt have a good time and that I at least deserve to know that much. And he responded back that he had a good time. So then why is he acting so much differently toward me now if everything was ok? Please help my mental capacity!!LOL
ivalm Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 He has issues or perhaps sees you as fling material. He is certainly rude and doesn't treat you right, I think you should cut contact and move on. Edit: Wait, so did you have sex or not? If you had sex and he was standoffish after that then I guess he sees you as a fling. If you didn't have sex then he is crazy.. either way, not a keeper..
Author Justme888 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 Nope no sex or anything!!! Like he was hanging out with a friend that he hugged in a few pics! I guess I just need to know that I'm not the crazy one here! My mom told me she thinks he's gay! Haha! Thanks for the replies!
Author Justme888 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 I guess that is the most boggling part because through text he is super funny and nice. Then when we talk on the phone he's very serious and monotone. I think that he is shy but for someone to act like a completely different person after we had a date is just strange to me and I drove out pretty far to see him. Oh well maybe I should stop over analyzing.
Ms. Joolie Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 What I'm interested in is the conversation that had to take place to get you guys to sleep together at all.
Surrealist Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Oh man, he probably didn't sense any sexual interest from you and respected your position on it, so didn't try anything. You will have to show some interest if you want him to reciprocate in a sexual capacity. Yes I know, it might mean you have to actually initiate something, but he probably would rather be safe than have attempted something to not only get rejected but get accused of being a creep, or worse, a rapist. See wot I'm sayin'?
xpaperxcutx Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I'm certain he wanted sex, but he couldn't make the move to start anything. I've had guys who wanted to start something but then they automatically become standoffish like their cat got their tongue. Not worth dating esepcially if he likes to do the vanishing act.
Author Justme888 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 You are saying for us to have slept next to each other? Well he was going to sleep on the couch and I had said we were both adults and there was no need to sleep in the living room where it had been cold. So he just slept next to me and if he even touch my foot he apologuzed. This is very bizarre behavor to me to see in a guy!
ivalm Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 You are saying for us to have slept next to each other? Well he was going to sleep on the couch and I had said we were both adults and there was no need to sleep in the living room where it had been cold. So he just slept next to me and if he even touch my foot he apologuzed. This is very bizarre behavor to me to see in a guy! Well, may be he IS very shy. I guess, here is what I would do. If you don't like him VERY MUCH then you should cut ties. If you DO like him and want to have a relationship, I would fess up and say that you like him very much in explicit terms. Like, be very explicit and this will help him overcome his shyness, if that's his problem, 100%. I know many girls like to be chased (and I understand why), but with this guy you will definitely have to take charge. This also doesn't mean you need to drive to him every time. Make a date and ask him to get to you! Give directions!
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