br0ken_w0lf Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 So I threw myself back into the online dating pool again. Started chatting with someone back in late November through e-mail at first, then IM not long after that. Things seemed to be going very well, we had things in common, we both shared some of our past experiences and details, and conversations were never awkward or at a loss for words. But at some point, I knew that I wanted to meet her in person; I'd been holding off since I know women are more cautious and she'd said as much. So I didn't want to scare her off by suggesting a meeting too early. A couple days before NYE, I finally asked if she'd be interested in meeting. To my surprise, she said of course and that she'd actually been waiting for me to ask But I found that throughout the holidays but especially lately, she seems a little more distant than before. Now, during holidays, I completely understand that since everyone is busy and even last week, it seemed she was quite busy with work. And I'm the type of person that if I sense distance, I'll back off to give space so I've been contacting her less as well. It still seems like she's interested in meeting (we're trying for the week after this one since she has 50/50 custody of her kids and travels for work often) but I'm just trying to decipher if her interest level has gone down. Just trying to understand the sudden lack of communication. I should have prefaced all of this with the fact that I have been historically, completely unable to read women in any capacity, regardless of whether good or bad signals are being received
DuskCrush Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Don't think she has lost interest. Seeing that you too have not met, there isn't much there for her too lose interest in so it's too early to gauge her interest level. Remember to keep talking to other women. Don't make her the center of your universe just yet. Hope you have fun. Good luck.
walktheline Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Why not ask her? If she's got kids life can get incredibly busy with work, school etc. I had the same issue recently where contact kind of dropped off with the girl I've been dating. Turns out she had been so busy with work and being a full time student that she hadn't really had time for much other than a couple sporadic texts. In the end we talked about it and had a better understanding of both are expectations. Might not hurt to ask her, certainly can't hurt.
dragonwave Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 BW - kudos for getting out there. If I get this correctly - you have been communicating with this women for almost 6 WEEKS online, asked her to meet after a month of communicating, almost 3 weeks ago now, she agreed and has yet to set a date. I understand the need to develop a rapport with someone online before meeting, but after all this time...not sure of her interest level. Yes we are all busy, but when we want to do something we do it. Period. She has not had an hour to spare for some coffee....really! Also, she has kids (50/50 custody), travels with work etc....hmmmmm does she really have time in her life for a relationship or she is merely seeking some companionship, friends with benefits. Will she only see you when it suits her schedule (like now making time to merely meet). Keep in mind with online dating....men and women are a dime a dozen. If you have had other online dating experience, did those women make you wait like this? Did they leave you wondering of their interest level? You have asked already, she knows you want to meet. If she comes back with a day and time so be it, if not, move on. Ball is in her court. Do NOT ask again. ahhhhhhhhhhh online dating, isn't it grand!
Author br0ken_w0lf Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Sorry, I didn't explain the timelines very well. Yes, we've been chatting for about 6 weeks but I only mentioned meeting about a week and a bit ago. That particular week wasn't possible since she was out of town, and this week isn't either since she has her kids this week (and I can't meet during the day). She's indicated next week shouldn't be a problem so I'll suggest a time for next week and see what's what. And, sure, at that point if she doesn't seem like she wants to make the time, then I'll leave it alone. Not sure what exactly she's looking for or has time for, but I'm interested enough to try and find out. I was mainly wondering if there was some subtle "I'm not interested" signs to look for Yeah, online dating is not great but, hey, you take what you have time for Thanks for the replies!
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