Welcome to my silly life...

[lovekills]

I'll start by saying that I am miserable right now, of course, why else would I be here? Unsure how to cope and hearing it from every which way that she was a pos and I should hate her doesn't help either. Its been a few days since I've seen her, the last time was in court to finalize a restraining order. Before that was the incident that provoked the order and before that was the Monday after x-mas which was an amazing weekend. Before I proceed with this story I will give a little background about myself and the girl and ask that if you were patient and kind enough to read through this that you comment on if I was wrong, if she was and how I should proceed, not that I have much of a choice but its still good to get opinions.

 

My background: I am in my late 20's, clean cut, drive a nice car, have a good job, don't drink, smoke or do drugs and am not on any prescription drugs or anything of that nature. I would say that I am pretty normal. The bulk of my relationships have been all long term, 3+, 5+ years etc. I am relatively well adjusted, I come from a good family that however divorced. I do have control issues, I always like to know the answer even if it kills me I have to know and that is typically my downfall as it provokes jealousy, paranoia etc.

 

Her background. Lets call her "Mess". Mess is in her mid thirty's, approx 7 years older than I. Suffers from depression and anxiety and is presently medicated for both. Has been abused/molested by her father at a young age, comes from what I would call a broken home. Has been with maybe 8 guys in the last 2 years that I know of that were considered major relationships. Is an ex coke addict as well. Mess currently lives week to week on a small salary as an assistant. She has a very easy job, but will typically go home and pass out and sleep for a few hours immediately after work at 6pm wake up and not do much but screw around on FB or watch tv. Also is in major debt, creditors calling daily, bank account being drained randomly etc. Has no savings, no family in the state (father went to jail for 20 years apparently for molesting her, hates her mother for w/e reasons), no support system. Her general demeanor is bitter, angry, defense and very rough and gruff. Deep down however I feel she is just very scared and she has broken down to me before about how difficult her life is. She doesn't really have many friends, people pay attention to her and come at her and she will then immediatley welcome anyone that does into her life. Doesn't matter who it is or how old, she is a taker. She has one close friend but I believe she was abused to and is an alocholic or ex and also is on dire straights, birds of a feather i guess...

 

So thus begins our story...

 

I met Mess through a friend on FB in May, we began talking as we are in the same industry I found her to be very attractive and finally someone who could keep up with me. Having finally just parted from a rigorous 6 year relationship (approx 2-3 months later) I began seeking a new female companion. I was not aware of our age difference at the time or any of Mess's issues. She however was not my typical girl. My typical girl is one that you'd see at a high end mall rocking an expensive purse or getting mani's and pedis. Mess is a tattoo'd goth-esque girl, short hair, very attractive, has attitude, into skate boarding and cars etc. I am not into skate boarding or really the same lifestyle as she was used to. Previous boyfriends having been in bands, skaters or grunge types. I was on the opposite side of the spectrum, so was she.

 

So as Mess and I began communicating online I saw that she was beginning to take an interest in me, we started talking more and more. I knew she had a boyfriend but our conversations were primarily of a benign nature and strictly pertaining to our industry, we found each other interesting.

 

So one evening Mess messages me on facebook claiming she had to play "faux girlfriend" that night and couldn't stand her boyfriend more or less, she invited me and our mutual friend out to accompany her and her boyfriend to a bar. I hesitated but eventually decided to go. Upon entering this situation the boyfriend immediately stared me down knowing I had been the one speaking with Mess recently on FB and automatically hated me as most any normal guy would when he discovers his chick talking to a new guy. So that night Mess spoke to myself and our mutual friend more than her boyfriend, which pissed him off all the more. And apparently at one point in the evening she (about 10 feet away from her boyfriend) asked her mutual friend what my deal was that she thinks she likes me. Fast forward a bit and she breaks up with her boyfriend that evening, calls me at 4am, we begin talking that week and go out on a date a few days later. Silly stupid ass me thinks this is fine because wow another girl that i find super attractive and is in the same industry is paying attention to me so soon after the other one and I parted. I questioned if her boyfriend would try to come back or if she still had feelings to which she claimed that there was no chemistry and she had checked out a long time ago, I was apprehensive but accepted this. I didn't think to myself how could she just jump into something with someone else so soon, just didn't dawn on me, but as you will read this happened two more times.

 

Now a little back story on the ex. A few years younger then she was (4 actually), had welcomed her into his big family, paid for everything, even bought her a used car in cash (cheapo though) and obviously did a lot more for her than I did. I don't know much about that situation other than the fact that they were not very sexually active that it was awkward and that there was really no chemistry.

 

So Mess and I went out on a few dates, within I think about 2 weeks we slept together after the 3rd date. From then on it was the honey moon, couldn't keep our hands off of one another etc. We immediately began seeing one another but it was an unspoken relationship, we weren't boyfriend/girlfriend etc. When that eventually did get brought up I told her that I wanted to see her but i did not want to be her boyfriend as I wasn't ready to commit due to the last relationship, I was afraid to but I didn't want to stop seeing her etc. Of course she didn't really like this but said she would give me time. Her idea of time was not really the same as mine and her interest level started to deteriorate. She started becoming more argumentative etc. Eventually we broke up in September, actually she dumped me saying "i want to see other people" basically it was because she thought i didn't give 2 ****s about her. I never really bought anything for her, she complained i only bought things for myself. I always paid for dinner etc. I just didn't treat her like a girlfriend, I wasn't over my ex and felt that if i had fully committed I would be doing my ex an disservice, if that makes any sense.

 

She had began talking to another guy on FB (I found out) about a month prior to breaking up with me and 'talking' meaning "so would you like to go out sometime" etc. When the ax came down on me she immediately went out on a date with him and began seeing him for a few weeks but then when i came back into her life she said to me at one point "i want to stop seeing so and so, I don't like the fact that he .... and ...." - didn't say to me because "I want to see you instead" or anything. So this was guy number 1. Guy number 2 comes later.

 

So the flip switched, i immediately went into panic mode and began to try to get her back, began texting constantly bothering her and trying to talk my way back in. We eventually go back together but it was hell since then. She was not the same, her interest level was near zero and I think all she wanted was someone to be around. I did everything for her from that point forward and she walked all over me like i was garbage and I condoned it. I put plastic up on her drafty windows, cleaned up around her apartment, bought her little gifts, took her to nice restaurants you name it.

 

Spent thanksgiving with her and this is when things started to get really screwy. I noticed someone started texting her constantly, her phone would light up all the time so of course i questioned it and she claimed he was just a friend. This drove me nuts, I couldn't stop fixating on this and i kept asking what her relationship was with him etc. At this point she didn't want to commit to me, but we were seeing each other exclusively more or less, at least in my mind. Sadly having bought the thanksgiving dinner, preparing it etc she claimed on facebook (which she blocked me on and wouldn't unblock me for some reason...) that she had done everything herself and even posted pictures of her thanksgiving dinner, alone.

 

She soon put a passlock on her phone and still wouldn't unblock me on facebook despite us seeing one another. Now I am not stupid and this put me into panic mode constantly worrying about two things, her loyalty and if she was doing anything with this guy. This slowly started to chip away at the relationship. It was a daily fight which I provoked but it was mainly due to her elusiveness. She claimed she was not seeing anyone else but she put it in such a way that if i asked if she wanted to be with me exclusively she would say something to the effect of "we are on trial right now" and i accepted it because I didn't want to be without her. I don't know what kept me there, i was treated like ****, abused, she wasn't sweet or nice to me, only in the beginning for a few weeks maybe even a month or two. I am not a desperate person, I am good looking and have a lot going for me, I just don't know what compelled me to stay.

 

Fast forward to xmas, buy her a bunch of gifts, she reciprocated, went all out, it was amazing. We spent x-mas eve all the way to monday together. Then after that I kind of lost it and emailed her about unblocking me, and the FB thing, badgering her etc. That week we were fighting mostly. Finally come to thursday before new year's eve and we were making plans. I had asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner that evening she said no she wanted to be alone. She always wants to be alone, a very depressed person but I was annoyed and questioned her, asked her why she must always want to be alone, she responded with "what is with the 20 questions why the F can't i be alone etc" - so I said you didn't call me the night before or pick up the phone the night before that, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't talk to me.

 

Backtracking a bit she began speaking to me less throughout the day via text as I suspected she was talking to the new guy more, making it difficult to juggle talking to more than one person obviously. I began fighting with her about why she didn't talk to me as much and she just had claimed she was busy at work but it was all bull.

 

So I call her a few hours later that thursday and i asked her how she was doing she said fine, she asked me how i was doing i said fine, the next words out of her mouth were "so i'm breaking up with you". Keep in mind this is a mere 5 days after we spent an amazing x-mas together. She cited she couldn't take the comments anymore and that it wasn't working for her. But she had no problem taking gifts from me, actually wearing the entire outfit i had bought her for x-mas when she was breaking up with me. I know this because i went to her residence to confront her about this after she hung up on me. I went back into panic mode because this time i felt there wasn't really a reason as much as the first time. She knew I made non refundable 100+ dollar reservations a mere few hours earlier at her request for new years. She spent new years eve alone, so did I and wouldn't pick up the phone to wish me a new years, only texted back 'you too'. So that sunday I go to her residence to drop off x-mas gifts and who do I find there but new guy. We immediately get into a fight (her and I) and new guy claimed he was just a friend as he sat there scared ishless not knowing what the hell was going on. I was mostly in tears and in shock and I didn't do anything nutty, only confronted. A few hours later I was served with a restraining order, cute huh.

 

I see her in court she's wearing my boots and bracelet, walks by me and goes "ughhhh" - begins to cry in the courtroom as if I had abused her or hit her. I was nothing but GREAT to this girl. I constantly would kiss her ass, massage her when she didn't feel well for hours, rubbed her head, brought her break fast, dinner etc, waited on her hand and foot, always gave advice on how to get her life back together, even bought her MOTHER whom i never met before gifts because she couldn't afford them...

 

I know everyone tells me that I was being used that she has no real interest in a younger guy who couldn't fix all her problems or support her but i disagreed, I felt that if i had hung on that all my gestures of kindness and effort would make her come around, sadly it did not. I really have too much faith in people, and saw good in her. I guess she was just too damaged to care about love.

 

Fast forward to the present and I am miserable, alone and missing her, missing what exactly I am not sure. She was cruel to me, laughed or mocked me if i cried, would yell at me for showing emotion. I basically was abused in the relationship yet I don't understand why I miss her, why I still feel that I love her deeply. I feel as if someone died, I can't say my final goodbyes as I am not allowed to contact her, I can't see her gorgeous face again or tell her how sorry I am for having to have put her through that ordeal despite her bringing it upon me. Seeing her cry sitting across from me in court a mere 12 days after we had been making love on x-mas tore me apart inside.

 

Everyone that hears my story says the same thing that its the medication and the fact that she may have borderline personality disorder that drove her to act the way she did and that my gestures of kindness, flowers, gifts etc mean't little to nothing because she was constantly in panic mode herself about bills and where her life was going. I would tell her i loved her and there would be silence or a dead stare back. She did at one point in the very beginning of our relationship tell me that she loved me. She actually was very attached in the beginning until I guess I didn't show her that I cared for her the way I should have due to holding back. I guess a women her age doesn't want to put up with a 'kid' so to speak or my texts trying to get her back. I don't think the restraining order was warranted at all, I never threatened her or to harm myself or anything. All of the messages basically were of "i'm sorry sweetie i love you can we work this out" and she shut me out so i sent more and more and I guess me showing up put her over the edge.

 

On another note I think i actually may have made a mistake about her interest level in the other guy, i think he really was just a friend. I just don't like how 2 days after breaking up with me another guy is in her apartment and she never lets ANYONE in her place. I think she slept with him as she wasn't home the day prior at all (we live close to one another). This guy however reminds me of a pot head, unshaven, goofy and definitely not attractive, so far on the other side of the spectrum compared to me its not even funny, I am not bitter however and I would give props to someone who I think was more of a catch then I, but certinally not this guy, in fact I think she took a step down, I am not sure why she picks these guys, I think as I said above its because she just pays attention to anyone that pays attention to her back. We do come from two different worlds, hers one of Kat von D status, drugs, tattoo's skateboarders, mine banana republic, broadway and disney world, get the picture? I guess i was attracted to her bad girl style and she maybe wanted something different from the f-up's that wouldn't take care of her needs previously. I think maybe she needs a sugar daddy but definitely someone older, odd though she keeps gravitating towards the younger gents though, maybe so she can still feel young who knows. She is in her mid 30's life seemlingly going no where, no boyfriend/husband and all sorts of messed up.

 

The sad part is I am not bad mouthing her or over glorifying myself, I would still love to be with her and fight for her as I am a fighter. She is very special to me and I thought i could honestly help her and make her happy and I am so sad that I failed. In the end I will get the bum rap about being the bad guy, the psycho, the nut job she had to get an RO on and it sickens me, we know a lot of the same people and I can't wait to see the dirty looks I get. I am just ripped apart over this entire situation.

 

The sad part is I would have been out with her today, going out to breakfast, spending time with her etc. Although I would be sitting with her annoyed that she barely wanted to kiss me or sleep with me or that she was on her phone more then she was with me, texting or hiding it. I am still torn up and upset, so much i want to say to her, so much I want to apologize for, not even knowing if its really my own fault, just so sad inside that she is gone and that I may never ever get to see or talk to her again. I guess however she didn't miss a beat, she replaced her ex with me instantly, replaced me with someone else instantly, came back to me then replaced me again. Maybe not romantically or full on emotionally but she doesn't skip a beat, transfers everything from one to the next with what seems like little to no feeling. Go figure, I guess I am just a casualty. I can't get her out of my mind or stop wanting to just be laying down next to her in bed ;o(

Edited January 10, 2011 by lovekills

[Cursed]

You seem to be a decent guy and that girl doesnt appreciate that. She has some serious problems with herself so NO MATTER how much you try and no matter how much you care, she wont give a **** about it. Somehow, its the other way round: girls like that ( and maybe most of the "normal" girls too) want an ******* kinda guy that treats them like dirt and they will keep coming back to them. Once you show her you care and you love her and stuff she will lose interest in you because theres nothing special about you anymore. I know that sounds kinda weird but thats what i think and ive experienced.

 

You got interested in her because -like u already said- she is a "bad" girl and theres something about her that fascinated you. You got addicted to her and she became a drug for you. You know that shes not a nice girl and you know she cant and wont make you happy no matter what you do but still you want to be with her.. i can absolutely understand that and actually im kinda stuck in the same situation...

 

You love her and you feel pity for her and you just want to give her the life she never had, you feel so damn sorry for her and you want to make her happy , even if that means that you are unhappy.. you think you know better whats best for her and you want to show her a way back into a good life..

 

So if thats the case, ask yourself:

 

Do you really want to ruin your own life over a girl that doesnt give a damn about u?

 

Do you want to be with someone who is probably not even able to love you ever?

 

Do you want to be with a girl who is/was a drug addict and had so many guys before/beside/after your relationship?

 

 

You do? Really??

 

 

Its so damn hard to let go of her, i know, but believe me, the faster u get rid of her the better... you said you are a handsome guy, you got a good job so whats the problem in finding a decent, attractive girl who really cares for you?

 

You already got a restraining order, imagine what else could happen if you wouldnt let go of her.... imagine she comes back to you, starts cheating on you, you spend a lot of money on her and in the end you will get dumped again and she never ever will be grateful for anything that you have done for her.

 

Imagine you lose your job and your friends because of your infatuation..

 

is she really worth it? dont think so man....

 

Start dating other women, start enjoying your life without her and one day you will wake up and it wont hurt anymore..

 

I know youve heard that stuff a million times before but there is nothing else to say. She wont come back to you, keep that in your mind and one day you will be happy about it. Save that little bit of dignity and dont run after her, you will regret it, believe me....

[lovekills]

You seem to be a decent guy and that girl doesnt appreciate that. She has some serious problems with herself so NO MATTER how much you try and no matter how much you care, she wont give a **** about it. Somehow, its the other way round: girls like that ( and maybe most of the "normal" girls too) want an ******* kinda guy that treats them like dirt and they will keep coming back to them. Once you show her you care and you love her and stuff she will lose interest in you because theres nothing special about you anymore. I know that sounds kinda weird but thats what i think and ive experienced.

 

You got interested in her because -like u already said- she is a "bad" girl and theres something about her that fascinated you. You got addicted to her and she became a drug for you. You know that shes not a nice girl and you know she cant and wont make you happy no matter what you do but still you want to be with her.. i can absolutely understand that and actually im kinda stuck in the same situation...

 

You love her and you feel pity for her and you just want to give her the life she never had, you feel so damn sorry for her and you want to make her happy , even if that means that you are unhappy.. you think you know better whats best for her and you want to show her a way back into a good life..

 

So if thats the case, ask yourself:

 

Do you really want to ruin your own life over a girl that doesnt give a damn about u?

 

Do you want to be with someone who is probably not even able to love you ever?

 

Do you want to be with a girl who is/was a drug addict and had so many guys before/beside/after your relationship?

 

 

You do? Really??

 

 

Its so damn hard to let go of her, i know, but believe me, the faster u get rid of her the better... you said you are a handsome guy, you got a good job so whats the problem in finding a decent, attractive girl who really cares for you?

 

You already got a restraining order, imagine what else could happen if you wouldnt let go of her.... imagine she comes back to you, starts cheating on you, you spend a lot of money on her and in the end you will get dumped again and she never ever will be grateful for anything that you have done for her.

 

Imagine you lose your job and your friends because of your infatuation..

 

is she really worth it? dont think so man....

 

Start dating other women, start enjoying your life without her and one day you will wake up and it wont hurt anymore..

 

I know youve heard that stuff a million times before but there is nothing else to say. She wont come back to you, keep that in your mind and one day you will be happy about it. Save that little bit of dignity and dont run after her, you will regret it, believe me....

 

You are absolutely right on every single part, I appreciate you taking the time to respond. She did not appreciate my efforts. I did not scream, yell or fight with her ever after i tried getting her back. I let her walk all over me, even if she was completely wrong I would just sit there in silence and even tear up because I knew I was being abused and she would furthermore pull the age card and make me feel like junk for showing any emotions. And you are right in the fact that I was unhappy but I some moments of happiness when I knew that I made a difference but most of my efforts were just 'things' to her. It didn't matter that i went out of my way to buy her mother gifts for x-mas for her because she didn't have the money and that her mother would never know. It didn't matter i prepared thanksgiving and christmas dinner all over facebook insinuated that she was alone as if she was hiding me, didn't want to show she had someone in case someone else came along, I guess the G.I.G.S. was showing. She claimed she never wanted a bad ass type or someone to treat her like ****, because I didn't treat her like a princess in the beginning she dumped me but you are right that after i began to show her massive attention and became obsessive she lost interest, I was no longer a challenge, it didn't matter anymore. Even if i pulled her from the fire she would have lost interest. Its just hard letting go. And much of my life has been disrupted as a result of this women and in the end i am painted as the pyscho. I would have admitted if i flew off the handle, I have nothing to lose by saying so here but I honestly did not. I am only guilty of texting her too much because she would not respond and that apparently showed a pattern of harassment. What would you have me do when someone instantly breaks it off wiht you with little to no reason having just agreed to making NYE's reservations a mere 3 hours earlier? Just sit there and say "dur ok..." - I am a fighter and i fight for what matters to me, I never give up until there is nothing left and sadly now there is nothing left.

 

I am just horrified at the way that it ended, I can't reach out to say hello, see if she is okay or see what disaster occurred now that I may be able to help with. I can't tell her that I think she is beautiful or congratulate her on something she achieved I can't do anything, it is truly like death and i hate it. So unfair, so wrong to have done to a person, so wrong to have done to me of all people, the closest person in her life that did everything for her, gave her everything including my heart.

[Cursed]

I did not scream, yell or fight with her ever after i tried getting her back. I let her walk all over me, even if she was completely wrong I would just sit there in silence and even tear up because I knew I was being abused

 

I did the same thing but i guess it doesnt make a difference. It only shows her that youre some kinda punching bag and she can do anything she wants and you wont lay hands on her or yell at her. Do you regret having stayed calm when you actually shouldnt?

 

 

And you are right in the fact that I was unhappy but I some moments of happiness when I knew that I made a difference but most of my efforts were just 'things' to her.

 

I know and i simply cant understand it. I know that when she made you feel special you felt so good and when she took her love or whatever away you felt like someone stabbed a knife in your heart. Its like a drug with these girls, you feel like the king of the world when theyre with you but once they lose their interest and breakup with you you feel like ****. Its so hard to believe that all your efforts didnt mean much to her, i know how bad that feels because as i already said, im in the same situation as you are..

 

 

I guess the G.I.G.S. was showing.

 

Whats G.I.G.S. ?

 

 

She claimed she never wanted a bad ass type or someone to treat her like ****, because I didn't treat her like a princess in the beginning she dumped me but you are right that after i began to show her massive attention and became obsessive she lost interest, I was no longer a challenge, it didn't matter anymore.

 

Thats what they say but deep down inside theyre looking for someone who treats them badly. Maybe because of all the bad stuff she experienced in her childhood or whatever which makes her think she is a bad girl and responsible for all the stuff that happened to her. Maybe thats why theyre looking for some ******* who treats them badly and gives them their "punishment" for their "deeds".

 

She probably doesnt want to be treated like a princess because she thinks she doesnt deserve that...

 

One thing ive learned in the last few weeks is that the much you care, the less interesting you are.

 

You have to make them run after you, not the other way round.. ( sounds stupid but thats what its about)

 

Its just hard letting go

 

So true man ... you seem to be a guy that doesnt like changes, same with me...

You got used to her and fell for her but unfortunately shes unable to return your love which absolutely doesnt mean its your fault.

 

Always keep in my mind that she doesnt give a damn about you and she doesnt event think about you, shes not worth it... she surely had a lot of negative sides, try to always keep them in mind and forget about the good time you spent together.

 

Start dating other women, i bet it will help you... Make sure to stay NC so that you can start to forget her

 

What would you have me do when someone instantly breaks it off wiht you with little to no reason having just agreed to making NYE's reservations a mere 3 hours earlier?

 

I know it absolutely sucks and a nice guy like you doesnt deserve it at all. But theres always a reason, she just wont tell you. Im sure its another guy..

 

Now imagine you get her back and marry her and one day you come home from work and out of the blue shes gone. That would be much much harder and i dont think that you could live a peaceful life with thoughts like she could leave me/cheat on me anytime in the back your head.

 

I am a fighter and i fight for what matters to me, I never give up until there is nothing left and sadly now there is nothing left.

 

Fighting is a good thing to do, but only if the girl is worth it. And in your case, shes not. So as long as you try to fight , you cant let go and you will only delay the healing process.

 

I am just horrified at the way that it ended, I can't reach out to say hello, see if she is okay or see what disaster occurred now that I may be able to help with. I can't tell her that I think she is beautiful or congratulate her on something she achieved I can't do anything, it is truly like death and i hate it.

 

Thats probably the hardest part. You are no longer part of her life and she just erased you from her mind. Now theres two things you can do:

 

1. Accept it and try to forget about her (even if it seems impossible)

2. Tell her that you are always there for her and be her doormat whenever she needs you which will kill you sooner or later

 

So unfair, so wrong to have done to a person, so wrong to have done to me of all people, the closest person in her life that did everything for her, gave her everything including my heart.

 

I know. You did anything for her to provide her a better life and got your ass kicked so hard you wish youd never been born. But you will certainly learn your lesson from this relationship once youre over it.

 

 

How did you spent your last days?

 

What do your friends say?

 

How was the relationship with your ex girlfriend ( the one before "Mess")?

Edited January 11, 2011 by Cursed

[lovekills]

confused by your post lol

I did the same thing but i guess it doesnt make a difference. It only shows her that youre some kinda punching bag and she can do anything she wants and you wont lay hands on her or yell at her. Do you regret having stayed calm when you actually shouldnt?

 

 

 

 

I know and i simply cant understand it. I know that when she made you feel special you felt so good and when she took her love or whatever away you felt like someone stabbed a knife in your heart. Its like a drug with these girls, you feel like the king of the world when theyre with you but once they lose their interest and breakup with you you feel like ****. Its so hard to believe that all your efforts didnt mean much to her, i know how bad that feels because as i already said, im in the same situation as you are..

 

 

 

 

Whats G.I.G.S. ?

 

 

 

 

Thats what they say but deep down inside theyre looking for someone who treats them badly. Maybe because of all the bad stuff she experienced in her childhood or whatever which makes her think she is a bad girl and responsible for all the stuff that happened to her. Maybe thats why theyre looking for some ******* who treats them badly and gives them their "punishment" for their "deeds".

 

She probably doesnt want to be treated like a princess because she thinks she doesnt deserve that...

 

One thing ive learned in the last few weeks is that the much you care, the less interesting you are.

 

You have to make them run after you, not the other way round.. ( sounds stupid but thats what its about)

 

 

 

So true man ... you seem to be a guy that doesnt like changes, same with me...

You got used to her and fell for her but unfortunately shes unable to return your love which absolutely doesnt mean its your fault.

 

Always keep in my mind that she doesnt give a damn about you and she doesnt event think about you, shes not worth it... she surely had a lot of negative sides, try to always keep them in mind and forget about the good time you spent together.

 

Start dating other women, i bet it will help you... Make sure to stay NC so that you can start to forget her

 

 

 

I know it absolutely sucks and a nice guy like you doesnt deserve it at all. But theres always a reason, she just wont tell you. Im sure its another guy..

 

Now imagine you get her back and marry her and one day you come home from work and out of the blue shes gone. That would be much much harder and i dont think that you could live a peaceful life with thoughts like she could leave me/cheat on me anytime in the back your head.

 

 

 

Fighting is a good thing to do, but only if the girl is worth it. And in your case, shes not. So as long as you try to fight , you cant let go and you will only delay the healing process.

 

 

 

Thats probably the hardest part. You are no longer part of her life and she just erased you from her mind. Now theres two things you can do:

 

1. Accept it and try to forget about her (even if it seems impossible)

2. Tell her that you are always there for her and be her doormat whenever she needs you which will kill you sooner or later

 

 

 

I know. You did anything for her to provide her a better life and got your ass kicked so hard you wish youd never been born. But you will certainly learn your lesson from this relationship once youre over it.

 

 

How did you spent your last days?

 

What do your friends say?

 

How was the relationship with your ex girlfriend ( the one before "Mess")?

[Cursed]

Cant you see the Quotes?

[SeriousBob12]

This is a bummer situation and I feel for you.

 

But look at how you started.

 

You were essentially the same as her ex bf. The guy that you pretty much stole her from (which I'm sure at the time you didn't care about at all). Think of the things you said he did for her, they're on the same line of what you did for her. It really sucks when karma comes back and smacks us in the face, but let this be a lesson: always be weary what a girl has done to previous men, because there is no stopping her from doing it to you.

 

Furthermore who sees someone and considers themselves together but is blocked on facebook? I have friends on facebook that I haven't seen or spoken too since highschool! You two were intimiate and you were BLOCKED?! Red flags would have been going off like crazy in my head.

 

If that sh|t happened with me, I would have kicked her to the curb right then and there, at least would have really started to know something was up.

 

She sounds like she really has some issues, and has no problem dragging you down with her. People with issues tend to do this, and are excellent at making the OTHER person look like a nut.

 

Get over her man. You're wasting your time. I can't see why you would want to be with this girl with everything you've posted. Anything more you continue to do is just deliberately putting yourself through pain.

 

You say you have class, well time to start acting on. This girl is trash.

[lovekills]

Cant you see the Quotes?

 

For some reason i couldn't at first but I see them now. I agree with you on these parts. Unfortunately I cannot contact her at all, but its probably better off. Although I am still thinking about her and have so much to say, I try to think about what she has done to me and it helps me refocus on more important things, like me.

[lovekills]

This is a bummer situation and I feel for you.

 

But look at how you started.

 

You were essentially the same as her ex bf. The guy that you pretty much stole her from (which I'm sure at the time you didn't care about at all). Think of the things you said he did for her, they're on the same line of what you did for her. It really sucks when karma comes back and smacks us in the face, but let this be a lesson: always be weary what a girl has done to previous men, because there is no stopping her from doing it to you.

 

Furthermore who sees someone and considers themselves together but is blocked on facebook? I have friends on facebook that I haven't seen or spoken too since highschool! You two were intimiate and you were BLOCKED?! Red flags would have been going off like crazy in my head.

 

If that sh|t happened with me, I would have kicked her to the curb right then and there, at least would have really started to know something was up.

 

She sounds like she really has some issues, and has no problem dragging you down with her. People with issues tend to do this, and are excellent at making the OTHER person look like a nut.

 

Get over her man. You're wasting your time. I can't see why you would want to be with this girl with everything you've posted. Anything more you continue to do is just deliberately putting yourself through pain.

 

You say you have class, well time to start acting on. This girl is trash.

 

I couldn't see the forest for the trees and when someone shows you attention sometimes you don't care what they did with their ex, you think its a unique situation but you are right I should have taken into account that she instantly left her ex and started something with me. We began talking immediately and became romantic on the second date. Meanwhile she didn't skip a beat having left her ex who she claimed however that she hadn't been into for a while, I still think its wrong. I hate these girls who stay with their significant others for so long while having no feelings for them, the minute that happens either talk about it or break it off immediately, its just not right to prolong it.

 

She is trash but she is my trash, if that makes sense. I saw good in her, I felt bad for her situation, really tried to help, really tried to be the man she deserved and needed but I am starting to see more and more that it was less me who destroyed this and more her and her issues. I can't quite identify having never been through half the life she has been through already or the meds so I don't know but the more i read the more i see the more i realize that its because of those issues that she was unable to cope, or see what she had in front of her or APPRECIATE.

 

In her mind as soon as one fails there is another one right there to pick up the pieces and continue right where she left off. Its kind of sick but I guess its a coping mechanism since she has so little in her life, she can't be alone she needs someone there.

 

Day by day is getting easier but I still ruminate over things, still mull it over in my head, wonder what she is doing, if she really is with the new guy or if he was really just a friend and i overreacted, but then I am brought back down to reality and i slowly begin to feel less sad knowing what she did the unthinkable to me and it doesn't matter what I want in the end.

[SeriousBob12]

Don't make excuses for her bro, that's just making it harder on yourself.

 

Meds or no meds, hard life or great life, baggage filled past or not, she has chosen her decisions. Accept that's a female dog with very little respect. That goes super skin deep and is much more complex than a bad past of meds. She has to be held accountable for her actions and decisions, any excusing you do is not dealing with the fact that she walked all over you and didn't show you a fraction of the support and recognition that you deserved.

 

You sound like a caring individual, and I'm the same way. I tried to excuse anything for my ex's actions, but in the end I had to accept that she's a grown adult who chose to act out on her decisions. Once you can look past that and hold her accountable, it does get a little easier to accept.

 

By the sounds of it, this girl will be forever miserable. She sounds like just a waste of time. Be happy that the relationship didn't progress to marriage, a house, kids, or even financial sharing. I feel sorry for her future boyfriends.

You got off easy dude. It may not seem like it now, but trust me you won't be the last that she really brings down and she will probably do it even worse to others.

 

Hang in there bro.

 

You do sound like you have your head on straight dude.