joolstearsuk Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Hi all, Thank God I found this site, I feel like I am cracking up the last couple of days.... My story is quite different and I feel bad for how things have worked out...basically I have been married for 5 years, my husband has no interest in sex whatsoever, I have talked to him many times about it, it's like he sees it as wrong or disrespectful to me......so we have not been physically intimate in over 2 years, that said he is a good man and we get on well...we are still young, so I hate the thought of never being fully intimate ever again in my life....though I don't think that it matters to him at all.....with this in mind about 4 months ago, I got to know someone through work, just via e-mail chats who made me feel like a woman again...he was charming and told me all I wanted to hear, he added me on FB, (where I saw he was married too) and told me that I looked stunning (just what I needed to hear) time went on and he began to call me and chat at lunchtime while I was at work....we got on really well and I confided so much in him....after just 2 months he told me he loved me, even though we had not met, he lives a distance away..and to be honest he brightened my life and made me feel attractive again....we were due to meet the end of the month..until Friday night, he decided to call me at home out of the blue, I was alone, but having had very little sleep in 3 nights, I took a sleeping tablet, thinking I would not be disturbed as he rarely called after work, the result was I felt ready to go to sleep, whilst he called me to talk about some magazine he had looked at showing women with huge breasts, and how he liked it..this was like a red rag to a bull...I was already tired and here he was calling me to tell me this !! Why ? I have no idea ? As a result of feeling tired and p...d off with him I gave him a few home truths about how he never calls unless it suits him..blah,,,blah,,, and I said a few hurtful things which i regret...too late, the words were out...result ? He immediately deleted me on FB, has not contacted me since..and I feel a fool in so many ways..I can't stop crying and thinking of him and what I have lost, though a part of me thinks that if he tells me he loves me at 5pm, then the same day at 10pm he totally erases me from his life because of a disagreement, then he's not worth it ...I want to talk to him to tell him I'm sorry for what I said but I know that NC is the way..for many reasons.....I don't want to leave my husband because he is basically good, but I can not just live as a companion to him,,and this lovely man offered me the physical relationship I needed...now that's gone too, i feel gutted....stupid thing is I was falling for him too...please don't judge me.....part of me wishes I had never met him because I wouldn't be feeling so rotten now, I haven't eaten for 2 days, nor have I slept..I just cry and feel so much regret...I think I just need to know that maybe it was for the best that this happened..my husband has no idea, he is happy to be close companions, just hugging me and holding me, but no more, but I am not...and now I feel like I have lost everything...how the hell do I do the NC thing with this man, when all I want to do is pick up the phone, e-mail and say sorry......
Shandy Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I don't think you should get so upset over this guy. Even if you are single, which you're not, this other guy is married. Your "relationship" at work is potentially damaging two families. What do you think will happen if things continue? Nothing good can come out of this. Just let it go. Be happy things ended and work on your relationship with your husband. Your sadness right now only comes from how things ended and possibly regret over what you said.
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