remy1981 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 (edited) Why is that a most Men allow woman to have an overwhelming influence on our lifes? I'm not talking about Woman the flesh-blood creatures but the Woman that seem larger than life the once who inhabit our imagination, inform our emotions and indirectly give us shape to many of actions. I'm a success Man set my own career course been to graduate school and now I'm in search for that special woman. I've become so engage on finding a woman and my desire to please her as gotten me nothing but hurt time and time again. I have this blank unfulfillment when it comes to woman and I end up giving up my power to unsure she is happy in turn creating a world of misery for myself. The more unhappy she becomes the harder I try to make things work, I work at communication, sex, and everything else until I become self-obsessed. I've allowed the woman in my life to drive my desires to become successful and prove that I'm successful and worthy of love and affection but get can't seem to maintain a fulling relationship. I've come to relize that Men make history and woman provide emotional support, men dominant and woman yield. I know real men don't depend on woman real men stand alone. Something I've come to realize but have had a struggle in doing so because I like many Men on here have been raised without my father insight to show me how to be man and I'm sure I was more of a Man to my mother than my father ever was. I was always there for her in turn, my past makes me believe I eventually give up my power on being a Man to a woman that I think might might worthy in turn making the relationship make a turn for the worst. I've come to learn that I must break free from woman for a while, and get some sort of initiation to becoming the Man that all woman want and desire. My guess the majority of Men never break free of Woman because the divorce rates are so high and it seems all men want nothing but to please a woman. We put our own feelings aside in order to please her, we make her the star and orbit around her, we lose our manhood, we become victims to our own sexual desires. Think about it "Masturbating, Pornography is easily available, Music videos, and woman dressing to attract that man it's open season and there ready to be taken away by a real man but we fail time and time again. We are trying to control, avoid, conquer, or demean woman because we are so vulnerable to their mysterious power over us. It's woman in our heads more, than woman in our beds that cause us problems. But if you ask any man if ever wants to be a woman I almost a sure you he will say No. Why is that we give up our sense of control and power? I think deep down we feel we can't compete against a creature who can give birth to a new life and bare our children, men from the dawn of time have reacted by creating, inventing, manufacturing, and trying to prove we are worthy or procreating. Woman creates life, Men create corporations that is why men must learn to be the stronger of species and show that we can manage our families in hardship and We must prove that we can leave a legacy for our family and children. I've come to conclusion that I must learn to break free of the power of woman and learn the true meaning of being Man. What are your thoughts about manhood? Edited January 10, 2011 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
shayan Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 interesting thought, here's my take, what makes a good relationship is two secure people who aren't trying to please eachother but instead love eachother and can be themselves. what makes a strong man a strong man is his ability to be himself and not be threatened or feel that he needs to change for any woman period. Same goes for a woman. Why do you think so many relationships end up terribly because people are sacrificing who they are to fit a mold and instead please their partner. When in reality this is impossible to do because if you have to sacrifice who you are to be with someone, then you are not loving yourself. And if you are not loving and honoring yourself then any love you give to others will be inauthentic and usually filled with infatuation and obsession. so if you want to break free and become the man women desire than stop giving a **** what they think and start being yourself. Then you will start finding women who actually are compatible with you instead of putting on a facade. Be a little patient and be more confident with yourself. All the answers lie in improving your own self image.
carhill Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 What are your thoughts about manhood? I've found, by developing close and loving male friendships, the desire and impetus for pursuing women has decreased markedly. I still enjoy female company and find some attractive, but they don't own me anymore. This is another great lesson I've learned from women, who are wonderful at getting their social, emotional and spiritual needs met from a variety of sources, creating maximum flexibility. This process has also allowed me to be a better and more supportive friend to women, since my needs are getting met elsewhere and I don't need to play the romantic game with them to get those needs met by them. Sex comes when there's mutual attraction and that can't be forced. It just happens. Wanting it doesn't make it happen. Sex will always be more easily obtained by women but, as is often shared here on LS, many women find a good mate difficult to meet and develop a relationship with. I empathize with that journey and have walked it myself. In that quest man and woman aren't so far apart. We can learn a lot from each other.
Seamless74 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Just to share im fair and unbiased to both genders of posters here on loveshack.. Would it be possible to include paragraphs in your post.. Although the general gist of your post could be ascertained within a sentence or two reading the whole thing was quite difficult........
always available Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I believe everyone is on the right track. There is so much influence that women have on men that we cannot control. Women are meant to be in our lives as life partners. They are to help you in your life's journey just like you are supposed to help them. They are not to base your world around. A man needs a much bigger orbit than that. If you are willing to read a book, there is one out there that i think hits the nail on the head. Its called "Wild at Heart". It goes into great detail about being a "TRUE" man. Not one that is portrayed in society today, but an image we can obtain which has been slowly been lost over time. Its an amazing book that should answer your questions. This one inparticular. In the book it talks how a man's heart desires for a "beauty to rescue". Its in our DNA. ITs the way God made us. You will find alot of help with that book. That being said, it takes alot of courage to be a "real man", and alot of work. But in the end the prize is there and you will definitely not feel the way you do now. The others who replied sound like they have a very good feel and are on the right path if not already at the destination. Although I have read the book many times, it is still difficult to put into play but I deeply know that its right.
Seamless74 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 You're kidding, right? not you CARHILL the O.P. if thats what your referencing... Actually at this point it looks as if the O.P. has since added paragraphs thanx..
funinTibet Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I think the secret to a good relationship is finding someone who can accept you as you are without you having to change or modify yourself for him/her to be happy. I think you are trying to hard to please a woman. Just be yourself and allow the woman to accept you as you are, and if she is having difficulties with that, move on.
carhill Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 not you CARHILL the O.P. if thats what your referencing... Actually at this point it looks as if the O.P. has since added paragraphs thanx.. Smack us both Looks like the moderator came back and added paragraphs. Tony to the rescue. He's da man
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