U1987 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 So with my past few GF's, I've had a recurring problem; them blowing up my phones (and my phone bill) I have a very basic plan; 200 min and 200 texts a months, and normally, that plenty more than enough, but whenever I'm dating, my GF's always feel the need to call me every night or every other night for like 20 or 30 minutes at a time. And if they don't call, they text, and not short ones, but like 3-page-at-a-time ones. It always takes a toll on my phone bill. Is there anyway to sensitively tell a girl to ease up on the phone calls and texting, only because of the phone bill?
Keridan Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Do you have a computer that you have private access to? There are some great programs that cost nothing or almost nothing that would give you an alternative. Skype is the first one to come to mind. A microphone, speakers, and this program and you have full access to a phone that doesn't charge by the minute. You can even usually forward your cell. Also, there are programs that will replace texting. You can also usually send a text by email or from a provider website that doesn't count against your text limit. Other than that, I would just be honest. You prefer to spend the money going out with them in person than spending it on the phone. But, being a guy, I'm not your target polling sample. Just thought I would throw that first paragraph out there.
LexiB Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 If you have free nights and weekends on your phone plan, why don't you ask them to limit non urgent calls to those times. I'm sure they'd understand that you're trying to keep your bill low.
dispatch3d Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 roomate with game was just incredibly slow with returning texts, or would "forget" his phone upstairs. She would yell at him and he would just say "I forgot my phone upstairs" or "I was playing a game. I never answers texts right away.". Roommate without game told her to call+text less. I think they are just being insecure, so they call and text a bunch to make sure you still like them.
Romance Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 i would be mad but it is possible you're significantly older than me. I don't know anyone without unlimited texting. I like to be able to contact my boyfriend as much as I want. I guess if you explain the bill thing they'd be okay with it but just saying "call me less" would piss me off.
carhill Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 When you're basking in the afterglow, they can talk their heads off. Good compromise. Unlimited text and voice plans are for girlfriends. Shut your phone off. They can talk with you in person on dates or, as mentioned, during the afterglow. Here's a question OP....when they're burning up your phone, are they balancing their chatter with sincere and consistent interest in you? IOW, when you dive off into an interesting anecdote about your day, what is their response? Crickets? Or, clear excitement in and energy regarding your life? I'd add minutes for the latter. Good luck
gurlboho1 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 i wouldn't have problem with it, unless he's just being controlling for the heck of it. either way I'd tell him, "if you don't from me as much as you'd like, pls don't get mad. during my work day texting is sometimes my only option...". that's just my own case.
Author U1987 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 When you're basking in the afterglow, they can talk their heads off. Good compromise. Unlimited text and voice plans are for girlfriends. Shut your phone off. They can talk with you in person on dates or, as mentioned, during the afterglow. Here's a question OP....when they're burning up your phone, are they balancing their chatter with sincere and consistent interest in you? IOW, when you dive off into an interesting anecdote about your day, what is their response? Crickets? Or, clear excitement in and energy regarding your life? I intentionally do not tell stories or at least go into detail over the phone. I always tell them, "I'll tell you more about it when we meet up Friday." Another thing that bothers me about constant calling and texting is that when you finally meet in person on a date, there's nothing to talk about.
zengirl Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 So with my past few GF's, I've had a recurring problem; them blowing up my phones (and my phone bill) I have a very basic plan; 200 min and 200 texts a months, and normally, that plenty more than enough, but whenever I'm dating, my GF's always feel the need to call me every night or every other night for like 20 or 30 minutes at a time. And if they don't call, they text, and not short ones, but like 3-page-at-a-time ones. It always takes a toll on my phone bill. Is there anyway to sensitively tell a girl to ease up on the phone calls and texting, only because of the phone bill? If it was because of the bill, I wouldn't get offended. If it was for any other reason, or I felt it was (this is really important, in that the way you approach it matters a lot), it would bother me. See, like this I intentionally do not tell stories or at least go into detail over the phone. I always tell them, "I'll tell you more about it when we meet up Friday." Another thing that bothers me about constant calling and texting is that when you finally meet in person on a date, there's nothing to talk about. That'd bother me. And I don't even talk on the phone all that much (hardly ever, usually text or FB) or text all day long. But I expect a BF who wants to communicate with me and share things throughout the 'off' days as well as the days we spend together. Not everybody does. It all depends.
Stung Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 roomate with game was just incredibly slow with returning texts, or would "forget" his phone upstairs. She would yell at him and he would just say "I forgot my phone upstairs" or "I was playing a game. I never answers texts right away.". Roommate without game told her to call+text less. I think they are just being insecure, so they call and text a bunch to make sure you still like them. I prefer a relationship with a man who enjoys talking to and looks forward to contacting me. If it were me dating either Roommate A or Roommate B, that relationship would have been very short-lived. Just not what I was looking for. I can't speak for other women, but in my case I want to talk to a guy I'm dating because I like him, because conversing with him is fun and gives me energy, not to stave off some insecurity or fulfill some quota. ---------------- When I was dating, I tended to date men who were witty, funny, and generally good conversationalists. Sparks flew when we talked. Our relationship energy fed off of our conversations and grew. I would never have progressed to calling someone my boyfriend unless we had a lot to say to each other and conversation flowed naturally. If you're going to run out of things to say to somebody after you use up your anecdotes of weekly activities, either the conversation between the two of you doesn't flow naturally or one or the both of you just aren't that interesting, IMHO. All that being said, I'm not really a huge phone person. I am a big contact person, and I like men who are excited to be with me. When I was first dating my now-husband I lived in another state from him, but we were in IM with each other almost every day, because we missed each other. If I was dating someone and he had a crappy phone plan, I would have been very understanding about not using up his minutes. But if he wasn't interested in finding some other way to stay in touch with me--and there are a plethora of free or cheap ways to stay in touch with someone--again, the relationship would have been short-lived.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I wouldn't mind at all. I used to have people blow up my phone bill even before we met in person. Not only is that annoying, but when things don't work out, they leave me a nice little bill at the end of the month. So what do I get out of it? Nothing except an empty wallet.
catgotyourtongue Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I intentionally do not tell stories or at least go into detail over the phone. I always tell them, "I'll tell you more about it when we meet up Friday." Another thing that bothers me about constant calling and texting is that when you finally meet in person on a date, there's nothing to talk about. Okay, wait aren't you the same poster who stated his credentials and stats on another thread? Being a great catch? If I am not confusing you with another poster, you said you have degree in the hard sciences, interests, hobbies. I am thinking maybe you could talk to them about you, & your good catchi-ness, lol and um, maybe ask about them, their good catch-ness. I don't know, I hate the phone, so I don't use it much, maybe you can ask them to be "mindful of your plan minutes" and say that you prefer to really talk in person, it's more personal, lol. I have had to tell several men same thing based on my cell plans over the years, none seemed to loved it, many adjusted, some did not, and I met others halfway and increased my plan, twice over many years. There is also email....for stuff like plans, etc if you just can't talk, email is a good option, right? Good luck
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