january2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 If you were a member of the opposite sex, would you date/have a relationship with yourself? And would you go for friends-with-benefits, short-term relationship/casual only, long-term relationship or other? Why? ----------------------------------- Inspired by the following comment from WTRanger in the Pedestal Effect thread: No woman is going to want to date me if I wouldn't date myself.
Keridan Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I'd marry the heck outta myself, but I'm a glutton for punishment. Honestly, I think it would be nice to have someone who gets my humor, doesn't need to have my feelings or thoughts explained to know I get it, and matches desires and such. I have traits that would annoy the heck outta others, but they wouldn't bother me in a partner or at least I think a compromise could be reached. As long as they don't look like me. I would never date someone that ugly.
USMCHokie Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I'd long term myself. But I wouldn't be afraid to slap the sh*t out of my every now and then...I occasionally need it to keep my head on straight...
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I do date myself. In fact, my longest relationship has been with ... myself. I can't seem to get rid of myself. NC has never been successful, so I suppose I will just have to accept my dubious fate of being with ... myself ... for the rest of my life. I hope this doesn't interfere with my other long term relationship.
worlybear Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Probably not! But then the emotional baggage I carry, depresses the hell out of me and I just wouldn't inflict it on someone else!
DuskCrush Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I'm dating myself right now~ And it's an awesome relationship. Sometimes I can be a bit insensitive and hurt my feelings. Then I passively aggressively get back at myself. All in all it's true love.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Yes and no. Yes, I'd like to have my SO share my views and behave considerately to always keep us moving ahead with stupid conflict. No because I'm suffering some physical ailments I wouldn't wish on another human being. I wouldn't foist myself on anyone until I can get some surgery that will let me return to full activity. That may never come because physicians seem to either be baffled or inept or heartlessly uninterested.
Author january2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 I do date myself. In fact, my longest relationship has been with ... myself. I can't seem to get rid of myself. NC has never been successful, so I suppose I will just have to accept my dubious fate of being with ... myself ... for the rest of my life. Oh dear...I guess you are now resigned to your fate and you will never be able to get rid of yourself.
WTRanger Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 It's all about being confident in who you are. If you think you are this "loser", then what persona do you think the opposite sex sees? It's why all of these meely "nice guys" never get the dates they want. They are just so neutral. With friends and enemies you know where you stand, but neutrals are just so neutral. However, it's also not about an over abundance of confidence that you come off as a d-bag. There's a fine balance. You are just nervous enough when you ask that girl out, but confident enough that if she turns you down you won't go home and cry yourself to sleep. And yes, I'd date myself. I'd even let myself slide into 3rd base on the 2nd date. But no home runs until the 3rd.....
Author january2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 Honestly, I think it would be nice to have someone who gets my humor, doesn't need to have my feelings or thoughts explained to know I get it, and matches desires and such. I think I had most of that, but lost it again. Oh well. I wouldn't be afraid to slap the sh*t out of my every now and then... I would have said, "that violence doesn't solve anything," but you're a marine and trained in applying physical force. Hmmm... Probably not! But then the emotional baggage I carry, depresses the hell out of me and I just wouldn't inflict it on someone else! You know what your issues are and thus have something to work on to get yourself date-ready. I'm dating myself right now~ And it's an awesome relationship. Sometimes I can be a bit insensitive and hurt my feelings. Then I passively aggressively get back at myself. All in all it's true love. I wish 'you' and 'you' all the best in your lifelong partnership. I wouldn't foist myself on anyone until I can get some surgery that will let me return to full activity. That may never come because physicians seem to either be baffled or inept or heartlessly uninterested. I'm sorry to hear that Feelin Frisky. You have a lot to offer and I wish you all the best in returning to full activity. It's all about being confident in who you are. I agree and thanks for being the inspiration for this thread.
Romance Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Absolutely. I am the kind of girl you take home to meet your mother. I don't do one night stands. To be honest, I think I am a really great girlfriend. I am incredibly supportive. I also think I am attractive. I probably sound super egotistical but in real life i'd never say this! haha.
nicole76 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Yes I would date myself however I would make some changes about myself first. # 1 I would not put my life on hold for me ,the purpose of life is to live. #2.I'd allow myself to make mistakes. #3. I would'nt depend on me for every thing I'd ask for help if needed #4 I wouldn't cling to myself because we all need our space some times. # 5. If there were a day I could not spend time with me I would not get all bent out of shape things happen.#6 I'd realize that Dating does not come with a book of rules so if I make a few mistakes or don't do things the way others do I wouldn't beat myself up instead i'd realize that i'm still learning.
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I do date myself. In fact, my longest relationship has been with ... myself. I can't seem to get rid of myself. NC has never been successful, so I suppose I will just have to accept my dubious fate of being with ... myself ... for the rest of my life. ^5... that is the right way to think..... Great post...
catgotyourtongue Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 If you were a member of the opposite sex, would you date/have a relationship with yourself? And would you go for friends-with-benefits, short-term relationship/casual only, long-term relationship or other? Why? ----------------------------------- Inspired by the following comment from WTRanger in the Pedestal Effect thread: GREAT POST January, just great! Parts of me I would love to date, parts of me, many, no chance in he** Thanks January for a good post.
EricaH329 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I absolutely would date myself! I have all the qualities I look for in a partner, and my flaws I have come to terms with and are able to deal with. I give a lot in a relationship, and it would be wonderful to receive the same. However, long term, i'd really like to be with someone who has different opinions than I do and is able to challenge me and constantly push me to be a better person. So yes, I would date myself. I don't think i'd marry myself though. If I could find someone with all of my qualities and flaws, but with different opinions, i'd be the happiest person alive
EasyHeart Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Heck, I am so awesome that I might even turn gay in order to date myself.
tinktronik Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I would not date myself in male form. I like the contrast that comes from my partner, our different views, the opposites we both bring into each other's lives. It would just be too monotonous dating myself.
Author january2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 I probably sound super egotistical but in real life i'd never say this! haha. One side-effect of a thread like this is that people admit how awesome they think they are - some already know that they are awesome and some need a nudge. Yes I would date myself however I would make some changes about myself first. A great list. I know I'm not quite there yet but your list is a useful starting point. Parts of me I would love to date, parts of me, many, no chance in he** Are you going to work on those parts you wouldn't date? If I could find someone with all of my qualities and flaws, but with different opinions, i'd be the happiest person alive Hmm...I'd be very happy if I could find someone with similar core values and qualities. Not sure about the flaws though. Heck, I am so awesome that I might even turn gay in order to date myself. Does that mean that you don't date at all then? I would not date myself in male form. I like the contrast that comes from my partner, our different views, the opposites we both bring into each other's lives. It would just be too monotonous dating myself. True, though how would you reconcile the differences? Wouldn't there be too much opportunity for friction and thus a longer term relationship wouldn't be sustainable?
Woggle Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 No chance in hell I would ever date a female version of myself.
tinktronik Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 True, though how would you reconcile the differences? Wouldn't there be too much opportunity for friction and thus a longer term relationship wouldn't be sustainable? That's just it though. With every real relationship there are always opposites, differing opinions, contrast and in my case my relationship has lasted coming up on 10 years, that's just the way of all relationships. How you all wouldn't be bored as hell with you hanging around yourself I have no idea.
Author january2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 (edited) No chance in hell I would ever date a female version of myself. Why's that Woggle? How you all wouldn't be bored as hell with you hanging around yourself I have no idea. Yes, I see your point. Edited January 9, 2011 by january2011
Woggle Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 ^^^ Why's that Woggle? Have you look at some of my more bitter posts. I would not want to date a woman who thinks like that about men and yes I know I am a complete hypocrite.
Author january2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 Have you look at some of my more bitter posts. I would not want to date a woman who thinks like that about men and yes I know I am a complete hypocrite. I have read some of your posts Woggle and asked out of interest - not to point fingers or make you uncomfortable.
catgotyourtongue Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 @January As to your question, yes, not only will I work on these things, I DO all the time, to a fault, I have been working on many parts of "self" and "relationship" "dating self" for a good part of my life through many avenues. Counseling, intensive programs, spiritual work, books, the list goes on, buddhism, christianity, some other things, etc etc. So yes, I actively work on stuff all the time. TOOO MUCH maybe, lol. It gets old working on "self" so I make sure I play hard, work hard, and live as well. Did you answer for yourself if you would date yourself?? I appreciate that you opened this up, and then, ask people what they plan to do about it, cool, and proactive. Have a great rest of the weekend...it's almost over.
zengirl Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 If you were a member of the opposite sex, would you date/have a relationship with yourself? And would you go for friends-with-benefits, short-term relationship/casual only, long-term relationship or other? Why? ----------------------------------- Inspired by the following comment from WTRanger in the Pedestal Effect thread: I would date myself, because I'm awesome. And I'm a kickass girlfriend. I find my own company quite enjoyable, and my dating life was pretty dismal until I came to that realization. After realizing that my own company was better than someone else's bad company (someone incompatible) any day, my love life did a total 180.
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