lovelydemon Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Hi everyone Does it make any difference for you what living arrangements your date has? Most people would fall into one of the following categories: - living with parents - living with roommates - renting an apartment - own a home Would it bother you if this person lived on a not so pretty street? Safe, but not fancy and the house was a little older? I'm a female in my late twenties. I own a home with my ex which we turned into a 2-family house and I live in one part and he lives in the other one. We don't share parking and even our entrances are on different side of the house, though we can still see when one of us is home and if we have any other cars parked in the driveway. We fixed the interior before we split up but didn't get to the outside yet, so the house looks pretty old. If you were starting to date someone who had similar living arrangements would it bother you? Would you consider it a red flag? So far I've been telling my dates that I just rent a part of the house. Any thoughts are really appreciated, thanks you.
carhill Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 If you were honest and disclosed that you and your ex own the duplex together and live in separate sides and I met your ex and talked to him, I'd be fine with dating, provided I didn't see any red flags wrt the interactions. I'm quite familiar with older homes turned into duplexes and the neighborhoods they inhabit. Good on ya for being a responsible homeowner. No issues there, IMO.
Author lovelydemon Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 Thank you, Carhill. The thing is, I don't know when is a good time to bring something like this up. Usually guys ask me on a first date where do i live and if I have roommates. I don't think telling anybody on a first date that I own a house with my ex is a smart idea so I tell them I rent. On the other hand, I feel like being a homeowner (though partially) is a big part of me. I view it as an important achievement and part of who I am and an important factor in many decisions I have to make. I feel that hiding this part of my life stops me from opening my real self to potential dates. So if I do tell the truth I might scare away a potential partner. If I don't- I'm not being true self. I'm so confused...
carhill Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 For myself, the issue would be relevant once dating progressed to where I was picking you up at your home. It would be natural to ask or talk about where you live in conversation and that's when I'd want to know such things. 'What do you think of my place? I enjoy living here and fixed it up myself. My exH/BF and I own the building together' bla bla bla.... IMO, if one doesn't make an issue of such things, such things aren't issues. A healthy potential won't be 'scared' away.
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