stopthemadness Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 (edited) So we have been broke up up a while now, months. For the most part we are fine with the whole N/C thing. But about every 2 weeks one of us ends up calling or emailing the other.We were together 8 and half years. He broke up with me. I didnt and am not taking it well although things are getting better. I see a therapist and that seems to help. It had been 11 days of N/C and he calls my house left a message that his daughter was having a baby and it was due on my birthday. He sounded very happy like he wanted to talk. I didnt call him that day. Four days go by now its Saturday. I called he answered. I said hi its me, he said hey, I said are you busy? He said am sleeping, I said really? he said ok Bye. OMG he sounded like he had smone in bed with him. Thats how you answer when someones in bed with you.It really upset me. Of course he had smone in bed with him. I tryed to call bk later but it went straight to voice mail. THEN I sent an email. He never responed. Needless to say I didnt sleep but 3 hours last night. Cant believe am back to this. I called my therapist we talked, gona meet with her this week. So I guess my message is Dont do it! Dont call am sorry I did.Would like to hear your thoughts on this... Edited January 9, 2011 by stopthemadness
0hpenelope Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I'm sorry to hear that. I'd feel so sick to my stomach if I knew my ex were with someone already. That's why I'm on a Do Not Need to Know basis (best known as NC around these boards) when I break up with someone or am broken up with. I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know.
cerridwen Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Maybe it's just me, but it sounds like you may be jumping to conclusions about him having someone in bed with him. Is he kind of a player? Is he known to sleep around?
J0N Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 NC is a must for your sanity. I have even gone so far as to openly ask my friends not to tell me anything they might find out about her. I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know!
Author stopthemadness Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 (edited) Openelope-Iam with you.I dont wanta know! I dont wanta Know! Feels like I just took a few steps bk..sucks.......... Cerridwen-Yea he thinks hes the **** right now and hits on lots of women. So why wouldnt I think one said Ok. And I did know of one lady he was talking to(he told me) that told him, she just wasnt into him like that and his kids and all these reasons soo they stoped talking so he says............... Jon-yea am NO longer going to respond to phone calls emails anything!! I cant be friends with him I just cant!! Its way to painful... Edited January 9, 2011 by stopthemadness
0hpenelope Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Openelope-Iam with you.I dont wanta know! I dont wanta Know! Feels like I just took a few steps bk..sucks.......... As long as your direction is still forward AWAY from the ex, those few steps back are fine. Just let them be a lesson to you so you won't contact him again. You got in touch with him, nothing's changed his mind, and nothing will. When you get the urge to contact him again, remember this pain and disappointment. It's a sucky way of stopping yourself, but it's an effective way.
YellowShark Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Here's what's happening stopthemadness. You are a source that feeds his ego. That is why he threw you a bone by calling you to tell you "the good news." Sadly you bit and called him back. BAD GIRL! As much as it kills you NEVER EVER answer his texts, his calls, his emails. Block him on Facebook, delete everything to do with him. Take anything you have that reminds you of him and put it away or destroy it. Most of all stop feeding his ego by being a source. (that will kill him, and great. "F" him. He's old news now. He's not a part of your life anymore and neither is his family.) You have to stick to No Contact and black hole his a**. You MUST go total stealth and only worry about yourself from now on.. no matter what he does. You are a submarine hiding under the north pole as far as he is concerned. The longer you do this the better you will feel. No news = no hurt. Best of luck.
health Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 So we have been broke up up a while now, months. For the most part we are fine with the whole N/C thing. But about every 2 weeks one of us ends up calling or emailing the other.We were together 8 and half years. He broke up with me. I didnt and am not taking it well although things are getting better. I see a therapist and that seems to help. It had been 11 days of N/C and he calls my house left a message that his daughter was having a baby and it was due on my birthday. He sounded very happy like he wanted to talk. I didnt call him that day. Four days go by now its Saturday. I called he answered. I said hi its me, he said hey, I said are you busy? He said am sleeping, I said really? he said ok Bye. OMG he sounded like he had smone in bed with him. Thats how you answer when someones in bed with you.It really upset me. Of course he had smone in bed with him. I tryed to call bk later but it went straight to voice mail. THEN I sent an email. He never responed. Needless to say I didnt sleep but 3 hours last night. Cant believe am back to this. I called my therapist we talked, gona meet with her this week. So I guess my message is Dont do it! Dont call am sorry I did.Would like to hear your thoughts on this... I called my ex when I was at work once at like 2 in the afternoon - she was at home and sleeping and she said she couldn't talk because the guy she rebounded with was right beside her in bed - while I'm at work and they are both unemployed. That killed me and showed she never gave a care about me - I don't get how you can be with someone for so many years and they turn around and do this - it's best to completely forget about them. Keep it at no contact for your sanity.
Author stopthemadness Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 Ohpenelope- Thanks, forward is the only direction I go from now on! Yellow Shark- I think your right about it feeding his ego.I plan on going N/C no matter what. Let some other women give him comfort or whatever, Iam Out.. And what you said about the submarine thing, I got a visual (smile) Thanks health- so sorrry you went through this too because its awful!! I do plan on going N/C from now on.We can do this..Good luck to us..
YellowShark Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Yellow Shark- I think your right about it feeding his ego.I plan on going N/C no matter what. Let some other women give him comfort or whatever, Iam Out.. And what you said about the submarine thing, I got a visual (smile) Thanks TRUST ME ON THIS. I am 100% positive you are a "source." And he needs sources to feed his ego. If there was a woman in bed with him when you called she too is a source. He feeds off her sexually, and he also wants to feed off you emotionally. Ask your therapist next time you are there, I know what I am saying is true. The best way not to feed his ego is to not be a source. And since he broke up with you you have no obligation to be his source anymore. What his family is doing is no longer your concern. It's over. He's just using you. The baby is coming call was him throwing some bait in the water, and you bit. It will KILL HIM if you go "hide under the Northpole." He will then try to contact you every way he can. Just wait. And that's when you need to be STRONG and not play his reindeer games! Never make someone a priority who only sees you as an option.
Leandro Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Yea Stopthemadness, just go NC and stick to it. Sorry this happen to you. .
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