Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I honestly, truly believe that I should not have to work or struggle to get girls. I believe that girls should have to work for my affection, and not the other way around. I believe that I shouldn't have dry spells. I believe that I should have my choice of women for and whatever type of relationship I feel is convenient for me at the time, and that I shouldn't have to compromise. Wait! Maybe he's onto something! Can this type of magical thinking apply to women, or is it a guys only kind of thing? OP, do you believe this works for EVERY PERSON? I mean, anyone who is happy with themselves should automatically get what they desire in life, even if that means that other people are going to have to abandon their own wishes and dreams - not to mention, self will - in order for it to happen? Oh ... that would not work, though. There would have to be kind of a "sub-class" of people in place to serve the desires of the "entitled." So, is that where women come into play? All joking aside, are you being ironic? It sounds like PUA rhetoric gone terribly astray; like all the complaining about "princess mentality" in women turned on its head. If you are NOT being ironic, you make me uneasy. In all your posts, you are completely out of touch with the humanity of your intended ... prey?
Analeigh Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Wow, seriously? At first I didn't have that much hate. But then I saw you were just looking for casual sex. You aren't going to get much of it with that attitude. Go to bars and pick up drunk girls. Any woman that wants casual sex isn't going to be looking at your education or your fashion style. It's all about the game, in that game. Good luck when you actually start wanting real relationships. You sound like you would be a catch for a LTR, if you would lose the attitude that you DESERVE any and everything. And I have a feeling you will need a woman who is just as much of a "catch" as you are. They can be hard to find, and they certainly aren't going to chase you. My advice? Go pick up drunk chicks who hate themselves for casual sex. Then after you grow up and actually become a catch, humble yourself and go after the girls who are with it.
welikeincrowds Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 All joking aside, are you being ironic? It sounds like PUA rhetoric gone terribly astray; like all the complaining about "princess mentality" in women turned on its head. If you are NOT being ironic, you make me uneasy. In all your posts, you are completely out of touch with the humanity of your intended ... prey? It's impossible to tell with this guy. He's either a genius or out-of-touch, period. I mean, even just look at this reply: I feel nothing about this. If you're trying to hurt my feelings, fission mailed. ...in response to a blatantly satirical post. What is one supposed to make of this guy? It's so frustrating but I can't help myself. In a certain way, U1987 is one of the most entertaining people on this website.
dispatch3d Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Please stop being so utterly ridiculous. Read what people are writing. My point is that studying or reading Foreign Affairs doesn't automatically entitle you to sex. It has nothing to do with sex or relationships. You can't say, "I've gotten awesome grades in the hard sciences; therefore, I deserve to have her open her legs for me and do what I want her to do." That's a total non-sequitur, which is exactly what a few of us are trying to explain. So please stop distorting what people are writing. It's neither helpful nor entertaining. Does he really deserve to be torn apart like this for no real reason? It's not like he killed someone, raped a girl, stole something, or even did anything illegal. He never threw rocks at anyone, called them names. I guess I don't understand where the hatred is coming from. He's a guy who would just like casual sex, and doesn't understand from his very very very LOGICAL point of view why someone like him wouldn't get casual sex. He pointed out the various LTR reasons why girls should date him, and the logical thinking is if he's the cream of the crop then he should get loads of ass. But it doesn't actually, work like that, I couldn't agree more. What I take issue with is the way people just tear him to shreds without any true just cause. It's not right, and with posts varying from - get used to masterbating to I hope you die in hell I guess you can see where I'm coming from with an utterly ridiculous satarical post. What do people gain out of doing that sort of thing? I just don't understand. If you think casual sex is wrong, then state the reasons. Why attack the guy, call him ugly, tell him he's stupid, yadayada? Sure i'm embelishing, but only because what's said is much more subtle and in my mind mean spirited.
amymarieca Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Ok this may be a little off the topic, but because of the field I work in I see this thing all the time. Does anyone else agree with me that the younger generations have this attitude "I should have anything I want because I am entitled to it for no reason"? I really sense from people in their late teens and early twenties this type of thinking. They don't feel as though they need to work to accomplish anything. It should just be handed to them. So sad.
welikeincrowds Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Does he really deserve to be torn apart like this for no real reason? It's not like he killed someone, raped a girl, stole something, or even did anything illegal. He never threw rocks at anyone, called them names. I guess I don't understand where the hatred is coming from. He's a guy who would just like casual sex, and doesn't understand from his very very very LOGICAL point of view why someone like him wouldn't get casual sex. He pointed out the various LTR reasons why girls should date him, and the logical thinking is if he's the cream of the crop then he should get loads of ass. But it doesn't actually, work like that, I couldn't agree more. What I take issue with is the way people just tear him to shreds without any true just cause. It's not right, and with posts varying from - get used to masterbating to I hope you die in hell I guess you can see where I'm coming from with an utterly ridiculous satarical post. What do people gain out of doing that sort of thing? I just don't understand. If you think casual sex is wrong, then state the reasons. Why attack the guy, call him ugly, tell him he's stupid, yadayada? Sure i'm embelishing, but only because what's said is much more subtle and in my mind mean spirited. It's funny, because you each represent the polar extremes. U1987 has absolutely and utterly no concept of a value judgment, and thus struggles with social cues. You appear from here to be particularly sensitive to how things are being said, rather than what is being said. In this way you are completely discarding logic in favor of value judgments. I don't see what you're seeing, and I think you are embellishing. People in this thread and in other threads are responding to OP's inability to place value -- on the people he dates, and on the people who try to help him. They're not attacks as you see them.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I believe that I should have my choice of women for and whatever type of relationship I feel is convenient for me at the time, and that I shouldn't have to compromise. That they should submit to the type of relationship I want out of them? dispatch3d, I am sure you cannot help but see how "off" this perspective on other people is. Why don't you try reversing the genders: some girl comes on here, posts all her (mediocre) stats, and then says, "I believe I should have my choice of men for and whatever type of relationship I feel is convenient for me at the time and that I shouldn't have to compromise." etc. What would you think of the woman who would post that? Can you imagine the outcry, the hate, the bashing? I will say that women HAVE implied as much, and it stinks. But just coming right out with it like this is sort of antisocial ... if not actually sociopathic. I would join in, FYI. This attitude is just foul, regardless of the gender of the person who's espousing it.
sweetjasmine Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I guess I don't understand where the hatred is coming from. What hatred? Let's just stick to my two or three posts for a second - where are you seeing hatred? Why attack the guy, call him ugly, tell him he's stupid, yadayada? Who called him ugly and stupid? I skimmed a lot of the other posts, so I might have missed it. I really don't care whether OP is looking for marriage or a one night stand or something in between. His approach isn't going to get him what he wants, and his attitude is only going to result in more frustration. I personally find his attitude disturbing and would be immediately turned off if I met someone who acted that entitled, but I don't know if OP cares about that.
sweetjasmine Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Why don't you try reversing the genders: some girl comes on here, posts all her (mediocre) stats, and then says, "I believe I should have my choice of men for and whatever type of relationship I feel is convenient for me at the time and that I shouldn't have to compromise." etc. Not even that. Imagine great stats or amazing stats. Imagine I walk up to a guy and say, "You're going to buy me dinner at that five star restaurant across the street. I'm a pediatric neurosurgeon and I've traveled all over the world. My body is perfect, and I'm fit because I jog 5 miles a day and participate in seven different sports. I'm well read in several topics and have two PhDs - one in biochemistry and one in medieval German literature. I want you to buy me dinner, and you're going to do it because I want you to and I'm better than you, so you should do it even if you don't want to." What would people think of that attitude?
oaks Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I truly believe that I'm a catch because of all of this. And because of that, I honestly, truly believe that I should not have to work or struggle to get girls. I believe that girls should have to work for my affection, and not the other way around. I believe that I shouldn't have dry spells. I believe that I should have my choice of women for and whatever type of relationship I feel is convenient for me at the time, and that I shouldn't have to compromise. The problem is, how do I make young girls my age see this? No, the problems are that you truly believe that you're a catch because of those things you mentioned and that, because of that, you also believe you should not have to work or struggle to get girls. You're wrong on the first point as evidenced by the fact that you're not getting the girls, although you might conclude that you're just looking in the wrong places for them. Where are you looking for girls who will be impressed by your details? You're wrong on the second point, but I can't be bothered to construct an argument beyond TANSTAAFL. I'm not trying to take you down a peg, since you need to do that yourself. Turn the arrogance dial down from 11 and the humility dial up from 1 and try again. There really are girls out there for you, if you're prepared to put in some effort.
oaks Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Not even that. Imagine great stats or amazing stats. Imagine I walk up to a guy and say, "You're going to buy me dinner at that five star restaurant across the street. I'm a pediatric neurosurgeon and I've traveled all over the world. My body is perfect, and I'm fit because I jog 5 miles a day and participate in seven different sports. I'm well read in several topics and have two PhDs - one in biochemistry and one in medieval German literature. I want you to buy me dinner, and you're going to do it because I want you to and I'm better than you, so you should do it even if you don't want to." What would people think of that attitude? It depends. Are you hot?
dispatch3d Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 It's funny, because you each represent the polar extremes. U1987 has absolutely and utterly no concept of a value judgment, and thus struggles with social cues. You appear from here to be particularly sensitive to how things are being said, rather than what is being said. In this way you are completely discarding logic in favor of value judgments. I don't see what you're seeing, and I think you are embellishing. People in this thread and in other threads are responding to OP's inability to place value -- on the people he dates, and on the people who try to help him. They're not attacks as you see them. This is really insightful. I agree, I make a lot of value judgements, and I would say that this (could be) the root of why I'm too opinionated and black/white thinking. I wikipediad value judgement just to see what it is, and further clarify where you are coming from. The tone after I called people out has taken a total 180, from what I thought of as useless "you suck get a life" to dude look at reality here! I have drank a lot, made a lot of friends, and run in several different social crowds. Yesterday when I had nothing to do at 9 pm I think I ended up received 30 texts from various people when I looked for something to do. Prehaps my value judgements help me in reading the social cues when people are pissed, uncomfortable, comfortable, unhappy, etc. I definitely know when someone is mad, and usually attempt to react in a manner that calms their anger. So in a way it's a social intelligence. This sort of thing gets me in trouble too though. I attach way too much meaning to things people do, and read the situation as something that it is not. I often get concerned or angry at nothing, without any truly justified reason for being that way. His lack of being able to even comprehend a satirical post, and where I come from when I respond in such a satirical manner to this really is a polar opposite. Anyhow, thanks for the insight. Oh and in response to the previous negative replies. I thought you were just hating on the guy. Oh you'll never get a girl with that attitude, yadayada. The tone has changed though, to much more positive. I don't really believe in pointing out negatives and discussing why they are negative. It's like fighting hate with hate, or fire with fire. I'll just leave it as I approve of the new tone, and think it represents things the OP could actually improve on (rather than just hate himself over, feel depressed about, etc.). Again, me and my value judgements ;-).
Jannah Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 This is really insightful. I agree, I make a lot of value judgements, and I would say that this (could be) the root of why I'm too opinionated and black/white thinking. I wikipediad value judgement just to see what it is, and further clarify where you are coming from. The tone after I called people out has taken a total 180, from what I thought of as useless "you suck get a life" to dude look at reality here! I have drank a lot, made a lot of friends, and run in several different social crowds. Yesterday when I had nothing to do at 9 pm I think I ended up received 30 texts from various people when I looked for something to do. Prehaps my value judgements help me in reading the social cues when people are pissed, uncomfortable, comfortable, unhappy, etc. I definitely know when someone is mad, and usually attempt to react in a manner that calms their anger. So in a way it's a social intelligence. This sort of thing gets me in trouble too though. I attach way too much meaning to things people do, and read the situation as something that it is not. I often get concerned or angry at nothing, without any truly justified reason for being that way. His lack of being able to even comprehend a satirical post, and where I come from when I respond in such a satirical manner to this really is a polar opposite. Anyhow, thanks for the insight. Oh and in response to the previous negative replies. I thought you were just hating on the guy. Oh you'll never get a girl with that attitude, yadayada. The tone has changed though, to much more positive. I don't really believe in pointing out negatives and discussing why they are negative. It's like fighting hate with hate, or fire with fire. I'll just leave it as I approve of the new tone, and think it represents things the OP could actually improve on (rather than just hate himself over, feel depressed about, etc.). Again, me and my value judgements ;-). I personally do not hate the OP. Not possible, since I don't even know him... My judgment of the opening post - the impression it gave off - is that it's FAKE. He shouldn't HAVE to post a thread like this, to qualify himself, as a catch. There are other ways to do that. He will find out for himself and through life experience, which methods are most productive to him, and to the women he chooses to be involved with. I hope that he does.
zengirl Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Doesn't that pretty much make you the exact opposite of a "catch"? Yep, he doesn't even want to be caught! Does he really deserve to be torn apart like this for no real reason? It's not like he killed someone, raped a girl, stole something, or even did anything illegal. He never threw rocks at anyone, called them names. I guess I don't understand where the hatred is coming from. For me, it's not hatred. It's just a very logical explanation of where he's failing. I don't think he should be thrown in jail or have the various punishments for illegal acts. . . but if he asks advice, doesn't he deserve the comments he gets. I don't "hope he dies in hell" but what he said was pretty ridiculous. If I said, I feel I deserve to lose 100 pounds by sitting on my couch eating chocolate cake, I'd expect someone to give me a reality check, and I wouldn't consider it "hate" if they did. He's a guy who would just like casual sex, and doesn't understand from his very very very LOGICAL point of view why someone like him wouldn't get casual sex. Then his view is illogical. Even for casual sex, most girls don't chase. Except the girls who you don't want to have casual sex with, generally, especially if you're as happy with yourself as the OP seems to be. And a lot of girls never have casual sex. And a lot of those who do only have it with former BFs, friends, etc, people already in their social circle. I'm not saying he'll never meet a girl who wants to have casual sex, but his attitude will likely be off-putting, even to most of them. Most girls I know who have casual sex don't have it for the sex, they have it for the attention. And he wants to be the center of attention. If you cannot give up the spotlight, you're going to suck at attracting women for casual sex even more than for LTRs.
hydorclops Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Most of the posters in this thread, besides the OP, seem to have a pretty reasonable attitude. But the larger attitude here at LS is more like the OPs than you all may think. Having trouble connecting with the opposite sex? The conventional wisdom here is that you need to improve yourself. You need to hit the gym, dress better, become more confident. Once you are better, you'll be entitled and you'll receive your entitlement. I've posted this idea before and it's always ignored: Don't spend all your time getting hyper-fit to be hotter; learn about and practice human interaction. Learn about relationships and how to be good at them. OP is stating in stark terms something that is amazingly common.
eerie_reverie Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 guys like you are a dime a dozen where i'm at
ivalm Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Most of the posters in this thread, besides the OP, seem to have a pretty reasonable attitude. But the larger attitude here at LS is more like the OPs than you all may think. [sic] OP is stating in stark terms something that is amazingly common. Indeed, when I read OP I thought it's a satirical troll and I was surprised by how seriously everyone took him. Seriously though, there is a very strong tendency on LS to have one of two threads: 1. "I feel ____ and my SO/date/random person should ____. Of course, I never actually HONESTLY TALK TO HIM/HER or accept that others have feelings/emotions/thoughts/dreams." I think OP is satirizing this type of thread. 2. "My SO/date/random person acts completely disinterested but he/she has ____ excuse. How do I continue my delusion that he/she still likes me?" Yet, somehow, for all their marginal usefulness, these types of threads still get most replies.
Stung Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I know and understand this may sound extreme to some readers. However, it's how I honestly feel inside, and my conviction is strong. I now I may sound "full of myself," but honestly, I believe every man has at least some reason to feel "full of himself;" for accomplishments and hobbies and knowledge that set him above the rest, so I hope you can relate. I'm not looking for a debate; I'm looking for advice. I've come believe I'm a catch. I'm only 23 and still in college, but I consider myself a pretty desirable guy for my age and my progress in life. I consider myself pretty good looking. I'm not perfect or male-model quality, but I'm pretty slim and in shape, have symmetrical features, consistent skin tone (minus a tiny patch of varicose veins beside my eyebrow from a bruise from a skiing accident that never cleared up) I'm well dressed to the point of being above average but not so much as to appear like a dandy or metro. I habitually dress in well-fitting business-casual attire, for work or for just going out. Despite that, I have some "masculine" hobbies. I love yard work and logging especially. And though I'm not a huge sports buff, I'm thinking of joining the campus rugby club in the spring. I'm pretty educated. I study the hard-sciences (math, chemistry, physics, biology, etc) and I was an honor student in high school. I also consider myself pretty worldly. I've traveled to several countries around the world, for study-abroad or for fun, and I have a relatively solid understand of current events, international politics, economics and finance, just because that stuff interests me and I read the NYT, BBC, Economist, Atlantic, Harpers and Foreign Affairs habitually. I truly believe that I'm a catch because of all of this. And because of that, I honestly, truly believe that I should not have to work or struggle to get girls. I believe that girls should have to work for my affection, and not the other way around. I believe that I shouldn't have dry spells. I believe that I should have my choice of women for and whatever type of relationship I feel is convenient for me at the time, and that I shouldn't have to compromise. The problem is, how do I make young girls my age see this? How do I make them realize that I am the catch? That they should want and work to be with me? That they shouldn't feel ambivalent or flake or play hard to get or any games like that with me? That they should submit to the type of relationship I want out of them? That was hysterical. :lmao: Thanks for the laugh.
catgotyourtongue Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Does he really deserve to be torn apart like this for no real reason? It's not like he killed someone, raped a girl, stole something, or even did anything illegal. He never threw rocks at anyone, called them names. I guess I don't understand where the hatred is coming from. He's a guy who would just like casual sex, and doesn't understand from his very very very LOGICAL point of view why someone like him wouldn't get casual sex. He pointed out the various LTR reasons why girls should date him, and the logical thinking is if he's the cream of the crop then he should get loads of ass. But it doesn't actually, work like that, I couldn't agree more. What I take issue with is the way people just tear him to shreds without any true just cause. It's not right, and with posts varying from - get used to masterbating to I hope you die in hell I guess you can see where I'm coming from with an utterly ridiculous satarical post. What do people gain out of doing that sort of thing? I just don't understand. If you think casual sex is wrong, then state the reasons. Why attack the guy, call him ugly, tell him he's stupid, yadayada? Sure i'm embelishing, but only because what's said is much more subtle and in my mind mean spirited. I will step out on a limb and say that I agree with some of your assessments about this poster-and responses to him. While I don't agree with what he said, he has a right to feel what he wants. Just because he feels he is great, does not mean "we" really have the right to tear him down to bits and peices. I happen to view it this way too at times. He will have a hard time finding what he wants, and piss off a lot of people in the process, but he can feel whatever he wants. I agree he did not come here and trash talk or do anything horrible. I would not date someone with this dating pattern or attitude, nor set him up with my friends, so I am not condoning it, just saying, think he got some tough stuff back that was not necessary. He feels he is a good catch, that's cool with me. Not my place to say. Sometimes I feel the bully mentality on here and I fear saying a lot of things because I am not in mood to get bashed or have to watch others being torn to shreds. It makes me phycially sick sometimes. I learned a lot and enjoyed this thread and value peoples input on here, very bright, just sometimes leaves me feeling like I want to vommit, and it's sad. Perhaps people who have been here longer are just more used to the ebb and flow, and I am not. I am overly sensitive so, that must be why I take it the way I do. I know others roll over and go to bed, I will be up thinking about what was said here, it's how I roll. I for one, am glad you stood up and said something. I did not because I was afraid I would then be recipient of the same thing, and I don't want it, but you were brave enough to speak up, and I wanted to as well. peace out.....
xpaperxcutx Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Lol I'm sure you're a catch but based on your past posts, you tend to view women as walking vaginas. It can also just be the other way around, we only view you as a walking penis.
northern_sky Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 It's impossible to tell with this guy. He's either a genius or out-of-touch, period. I mean, even just look at this reply: ...in response to a blatantly satirical post. What is one supposed to make of this guy? It's so frustrating but I can't help myself. In a certain way, U1987 is one of the most entertaining people on this website. I don't think he's a "genius" either way. Even if we assume irony, it's too blatant a form of irony to be clever, you know?
northern_sky Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Btw, *this* is the type of mentality I was targeting in my 'men who bitch' thread. I'm so great, why aren't I getting free sex whenever I want it?
OceanGirl Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 BTW I was going to help OP improve his online dating profile privately. But then I looked at his past posts and saw that he is really trying to trick girls into having casual sex. I didn't want any part in that. So OP, that's why I didn't respond to your PMs
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I will step out on a limb and say that I agree with some of your assessments about this poster-and responses to him. While I don't agree with what he said, he has a right to feel what he wants. Just because he feels he is great, does not mean "we" really have the right to tear him down to bits and peices. I happen to view it this way too at times. He will have a hard time finding what he wants, and piss off a lot of people in the process, but he can feel whatever he wants. I agree he did not come here and trash talk or do anything horrible. I would not date someone with this dating pattern or attitude, nor set him up with my friends, so I am not condoning it, just saying, think he got some tough stuff back that was not necessary. He feels he is a good catch, that's cool with me. Not my place to say. Sometimes I feel the bully mentality on here and I fear saying a lot of things because I am not in mood to get bashed or have to watch others being torn to shreds. It makes me phycially sick sometimes. I learned a lot and enjoyed this thread and value peoples input on here, very bright, just sometimes leaves me feeling like I want to vommit, and it's sad. Perhaps people who have been here longer are just more used to the ebb and flow, and I am not. I am overly sensitive so, that must be why I take it the way I do. I know others roll over and go to bed, I will be up thinking about what was said here, it's how I roll. I for one, am glad you stood up and said something. I did not because I was afraid I would then be recipient of the same thing, and I don't want it, but you were brave enough to speak up, and I wanted to as well. peace out..... Cat, I am getting the idea that you are the self appointed female defender of any and all male posters here on LS. That is nice of you. I have to say it's NOT "bully mentality," however, if a lot of thinking, empathetic, and even "overly sensitive" people (as you consider yourself to be) are offended by a person who holds this kind of dehumanizing view of OTHER HUMAN BEINGS: I believe that I should have my choice of women for and whatever type of relationship I feel is convenient for me at the time, and that I shouldn't have to compromise. That they should submit to the type of relationship I want out of them? Really? That is okay with you? Most have not taken issue with his high opinion of himself. The problems have been with his expression of being ENTITLED to USE other people however he wishes because of these attributes of which he is so proud. It's not bully mentality. It's more like a group of people with some social mores in common.
Kamille Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 (edited) I certainly don't agree with the sentiment that "women should submit" to the OP but I had my own moments of "enough bull****, I'm worth it dammit and I'm not going to put up with any guy who doesn't see it". In that sense, I hope the OP's manifesto guides him to a better place when it comes to dating. edited to add: what ended up happening is that I started taking responsibility for my own share of why my relationships didn't work out. Once you start respecting yourself, you can no longer use excuses and blame the other gender for your unhappiness as much. Edited January 10, 2011 by Kamille
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