cboy90 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 To send or not to send? Here's what I wrote: So the last time that I talked to you was on the 1st of November. And the last time that we saw each other was on the 28th of October. Since then, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. A LOT of thinking. I have come to realize what caused this breakup. It wasn’t all me, as you made it out to seem. You have told me that you have been feeling this way for the past 2 years. Which somehow seems like a lie to me. So since then you’ve still bought me loads of presents, always wanted to hang out with my sister and family and always talked about how much you wanted to marry me and you see us living together. But yet you say that you didn’t love me, why? It seems all to odd to me. You also told me that you felt our relationship was more of a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship. You felt that all I ever wanted from you was sex. And you said that you felt like you always had to give it to me, because you felt obligated. Another odd thing. I do recall that you were the person who would always ask me to come in the shower with you, always get on top of me in bed, always rub my ‘downstairs’ and you even told me that when we went to go see your parents in September for your sisters birthday, you wanted me to make sure that I bring condoms. And if I didn't, you were going to MAKE me go out and get some. But yet, you still say, that all I ever wanted from you was just sex. Hmm, odd. You called me cheap! Which was a blow straight to my heart. I had no intention of ever being cheap with you. Remember your birthday came before mine and when you turned 18 years old, I spent $500 on you. But yet I’m cheap! I bought you a $100 ring for valentine’s day. But yet I’m cheap! I spent almost $400 on a diamond ring for you on our anniversary. But yet I’m cheap! I spent $4000 on a new vehicle, so that I could still come and see you and we could do things together. But yet I’m cheap! I didn’t realize that me being in college Mon-Fri and not having a job meant that I had to spend loads of money on you. I didn’t realize that my education meant nothing to you at all. I didn’t realize that me trying to be all that I can be in school and trying to succeed in it and thus after I graduate, get the best paying job I can get and providing for you meant nothing to you. When we were together, I can’t even remember the last time that you asked me how my day at school went. Maybe you did, once or twice, but that’s it. It was mostly about you. You would always mention how our relationship needed to be a give/take relationship. Well, seems to me that all I ever did was give/give and all you ever did was take/take. You also spent time with someone from your work behind my back and never told me about it. Reason being: because I never asked! Hmm, well I had a gangbang with three 18-year old girls but never told you about it. Why you ask? Because you never asked! The root of all evil in this relationship that we had, was you! Plain and simple. I do take blame for some of the things that I caused. But the sole cause was you. You let someone else into our relationship and left me out in the dark. You told me I still had a chance, but then you used me for an entire week, only to have this kid take my place. The night you dumped me, he asked you out and you said yes. Disrespectful? I think so! You probably think otherwise. Up until the month before you broke up with me, we were happy. You were so excited that we were actually going to move out together come this February. But now it seems that this dream of ours isn’t going to turn into reality. As is everything else. I need to let you know that I have moved on and forgave you for everything that has happened. I’m keeping my head high and looking forward to great things in life. Not dwelling on the past, because if I do, I won’t be able to see what’s going on straight in front of me. I have since graduated and completed my school. I also have a job now, one in my line of schooling. One that is very promising for me and my future. I want you to know that I wish you the best in your life, wherever you may be. I hope you are nothing but happy and satisfied with all that you have been given. I’m writing this email without a tear being shed. The only emotions I feel right now are happiness. Because I have finally let go. Regards, XXX P.S. I don’t expect a reply to this email. Highly doubtful that I'm going to send it. Just needed to vent. I have been in NC since the 1st of November. Every since our 3.5 year relationship (both 20yrs old) we have talked EVERYDAY. And now, since the 1st of November I have remained in the dark, which I know bugs her. The only thing I have done that could be called breaking NC was calling her parents (who I know love me) and wishing them a merry christmas/happy new year on the 20th of December. I haven't heard from her since. Maybe it's a good thing. Today is the first day that I can actually say that I feel happy. Plus I might have a date this Friday with a nurse I met while at school
suddendumpee Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Great vent, but yea...PLEASE don't send this. The memorization of the dates of your last contacts....creepy. The rattling off of details of the past...cliche. All of the anger and venting, followed by I've moved on? Too contradictory. I've done the same sort of e-mail, just to vent, but NEVER would send it. My NC is working WONDERS with her ego right about now, and I'm enjoying it.
Author cboy90 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 I'm loving my life right now! It really is amazing what NC does. Still can't wait for Friday. This nurse is drop dead gorgeous!
bslchump Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 My friend, I am in an extremely similar boat. My best advice is to not send the email. Holy-for-the-love-of-god please don't send it. I'm POSITIVE you aren't actually like this, but this is how your letter comes off: "I still think about you all the time. Everything is YOUR fault. I'm a great guy. Despite my taking the time to think and write this out, I want you to think you mean nothing to me anymore." Now, I had the exact same feelings with almost the exact same words when my girlfriend and I split. I actually picked fights with her over these exact topics just so I had an excuse to yell at her and try to vent. Venting this way actually made me feel worse. It put me in a horrible mood for days on end until I would blow up again. If I could do it all over again, I would have said "Fine. If that's what you want." and then NOT SAID ANOTHER WORD ABOUT IT. By doing something like yelling at her or sending her this email, you're not only showing her that you miss the hell out of her, but you make yourself a worse prospect in her eyes. You'll only be confirming her decision. It's great that you have a date and you feel happy. Vent all over this forum but do NOT send that e-mail. Trust me on this one, man.
Author cboy90 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 (edited) As for the memorizing of the dates, that's just the way I am. I can remember almost every significant event in my life and the date it happened, what day of the week it was, roughly what time. Seems weird to most people. Maybe I'm a freak haha. Yeah I just needed to vent. Emails already been deleted. I know her life has been an entire $hit show the moment I started NC. As for me, I feel great now. Keepin my head high, and I've been getting a lot of attention since doing it. Edited January 9, 2011 by cboy90
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