Kain Highwind Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Just gonna keep it simple this time and just ask this
USMCHokie Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I tend to be a bit of an open book with women, so if I'm feeling it, then I don't have an issue with telling them how I feel. If they run because of it, then I'll make sure to hit them with the door on the way out.
ivalm Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I tend to be a bit of an open book with women, so if I'm feeling it, then I don't have an issue with telling them how I feel. If they run because of it, then I'll make sure to hit them with the door on the way out. As long as you don't do it on your first/second date then it's a good advice
Keridan Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Depends on the woman, your delivery and the feelings themselves. IME no, but that's hardly categorical proof, especially considering how rarely I tell
Author Kain Highwind Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 As long as you don't do it on your first/second date then it's a good advice So... I've known this girl for about a year. We got really close, thought she was into me, quit talking for like a month because of outside circumstances, she got with someone else
USMCHokie Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 As long as you don't do it on your first/second date then it's a good advice If I'm feeling that strongly after just one or two dates, then there's probably an issue...with either me or her...
mo mo Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Why won't you listen to anyone Kain? I remember the other thread(s)
Author Kain Highwind Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 As in.. Helping to get with the person?
mo mo Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 You are somehow convinced that your situation is different from mine and other guys who have told you to back off. It's not. What you are going through is quite common.
Author Kain Highwind Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 You are somehow convinced that your situation is different from mine and other guys who have told you to back off. It's not. What you are going through is quite common. Knowing that the girl you're crazy about actually liked you at one point and may still have some feelings, despite being with someone else is common?
january2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 As in.. Helping to get with the person? As in before you've asked her out? In my experience, of the times when a guy has told me how he felt beforehand, as it happened, I didn't feel the same way and I'd already 'friendzoned' them - I think it was more coincidence rather than cause-and-effect. I am one datapoint though and other women may have had different experiences.
Author Kain Highwind Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 As in before you've asked her out? In my experience, of the times when a guy has told me how he felt beforehand, as it happened, I didn't feel the same way and I'd already 'friendzoned' them. Though I think it was more coincidence rather than cause-and-effect. I am one datapoint though and other women may have had different experiences. I asked her out before (despite her telling me right before that she went on a date with someone else the night before) They're together now but she did like me... I know that much
january2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I asked her out before (despite her telling me right before that she went on a date with someone else the night before) They're together now but she did like me... I know that much Regardless of how she felt about you before, she's with someone else now. I suggest stepping away and letting her be. If the stars align, you're both single and emotionally ready to date, perhaps you can ask her again. Otherwise, I think that you had your chance and it's unlikely that it's going to come round again. Sorry, I know that's probably not what you want to hear.
Cracker Jack Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I asked her out before (despite her telling me right before that she went on a date with someone else the night before) They're together now but she did like me... I know that much Keyword: "Did" My friend showed that she loved me before she got back with her ex after breaking up with him for about a yr; that much I do know. Doesn't mean I'll be the first choice if she ever breaks up with him. Same applies to you here.
ivalm Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I asked her out before (despite her telling me right before that she went on a date with someone else the night before) They're together now but she did like me... I know that much If you asked her out and she refused then I would say she knows how you feel. Certainly I doubt talking to her frankly while she has her boyfriend is useful.
Author Kain Highwind Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 If you asked her out and she refused then I would say she knows how you feel. Certainly I doubt talking to her frankly while she has her boyfriend is useful. Well, I was thinking that she might have just thought that I thought she was cute or that I wanted sex or something when its something much more She means more to me than anyone else in the world does. I care about her more than I do for anyone. She's made me happier than anyone else has and just like... Hearing her voice on a bad day was enough to cheer me up. I'd do anything to make sure she's happy and well... She'd be my number one and I love her. I've been with a lot of girls and I've had a lot of crushes, but she's the only one I can say that I love with all my heart.
mo mo Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Well, I was thinking that she might have just thought that I thought she was cute or that I wanted sex or something when its something much more She means more to me than anyone else in the world does. I care about her more than I do for anyone. She's made me happier than anyone else has and just like... Hearing her voice on a bad day was enough to cheer me up. I'd do anything to make sure she's happy and well... She'd be my number one and I love her. I've been with a lot of girls and I've had a lot of crushes, but she's the only one I can say that I love with all my heart. Dude, you are not ready to date. You need to mature a little bit. I know that sounds harsh but its true.
baybaybaby Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Personally, I think it's really sweet when a guy is willing to open up and express his feelings. However, it really depends what you're expressing. If you're trying to tell the girl how much you love her, I suggest you not to do it during the first couple of dates as you might just scare her away. I think if you establish a connection, then telling the girl how you feel about her would make the relationship stronger. I would love to be with someone who isn't afraid to express themselves because it sucks to be the only one telling the other person how you feel when they don't do the same back. It's like you're talking to the wall.
guitar23 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Kain, I was in your shoes. More than once. Nothing you can say or do is going to change her mind. As hard as it is to think of right now, you need to move on. If it's "meant to be" then something might happen down the road. For now though, you can't live your life beating yourself up and wondering "what if" because you're standing still and the world and other opportunities are passing you by. I'm not questioning the way you feel, but over time it will hurt less and you may find somebody better. Looking back now, I'm glad I went through what I did because it makes me appreciate what I have now that much more.
zengirl Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Ever? Yes. In this case? Unlikely. You guys already had a shot, and she moved on. I'd reckon she already knows close enough to how you feel, so it'd just be uncomfortable for you both.
youngskywalker Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 May I suggest slamming your balls in a car door instead? You might find that you like it and it's almost as painful as being rejected by a woman! But the good part is it doesn't take much planning and thought AND you can do it whenever you feel the urge.
denise_xo Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Hi Kain, Having read your other threads on this girl, I don't think you will achieve what you want by telling her. But I think it might help you in moving on. Most of us have been where you are at some point - stuck with our feelings of love for someone and not having those feelings reciprocated. It might help you to hear it from her directly that she doesn't want a relationship with you. Sometimes it's the only thing that can help us move along. I agree with zengirl that she probably knows already and that the situation would be uncomfortable if you go ahead with it. But a longer term perspective, it might help you move to a different level with your situation.
Hopeful30 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Works better than NOT telling her how you feel and leaving her confused.
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