Butterflying Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 It's been so long. I don't remember how this works. I met a really, really, really great guy at the supermarket. We were in the coffee isle and I asked for his assistance since he seemed to know exactly what he was looking for. I wanted to try something different and all the different flavors were overwhelming. So I asked which he liked the best. He gave me a great suggestion of which to buy. When I said "thank you," he said the pleasure was all his. He said I was gorgeous, introduced himself. He was cute, so I introduced myself and noticed he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. But I asked anyway, "so does Mrs. (his name) make you this kind of coffee every day?" He assured me there is no Mrs. There also aren't any Ms because he hasn't met anyone as beautiful as me. Yeah, yeah, I know he was full of compliments. Anyway, the conversation led to a few dates, and now we're talking about being monogamous. I like this guy, but I don't have the inclination to call him or talk to him every day the way I used to be with previous boyfriends. He sends me text messages almost every day, just sweet little things like "good morning" and "have a good day." Sometimes he tells me what he's doing and ask about my day. Now he notices that he has initiated most of the communication between us. We haven't had any disagreements. But it seems a little odd that I don't express interest the way he does. He's not annoying me because I like when he calls and text. I always respond. But yesterday, he didn't text or call me and we ended up not speaking at all. I was okay with it. It made him wonder if I'm really as interested in him as I claim to be & he wondered if I thought he contacted me too often. I don't know how to do this anymore.... How do I be in a relationship? Are we supposed to be talking everyday? Is something wrong if we don't? I want him in my life, but I'm so used to being on my own. It seems to take an extra effort to include him. I think about him all the time. Maybe I'm afraid of getting too close. I don't know...
Dante311 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 If it's one thing I suck at... it's this, but if there's one thing I've learned sweetie, let it flow naturally. I am the guy you're seeing... technically, not literally. Fortunate for me... the woman I'm exclusively dating right now initiates the good mornings b/c she's a better morning person than I am LOL and she totally understands... her dad and ex boyfriend were/are the same as me. I like texting (we'll call her) B (,the girl I'm dating)... little cute smiley faces and she loves when I say hi... or tease her via text. I'll ask "ttyl?" or "May I call you later?" and I'll get an "Absolutely yes :)" reply. We're both at our respective homes right now... she's an undergrad (senior) and I'm a recent graduate school graduate transitioning into life... but I'm heading back up to my place in the college town tomorrow... so she told me she wants to come back early to see me. I ended up telling her "Baby, I would love to see you, but come back if it's convenient for you"... then I told her I'd be back around 3 or 4... her, "I won't be back that early... but I'll see you tomorrow night ;)" Just be natural with him... send him a text some afternoon saying "Hey (if you gave him a pet name insert it here), how's your day going?" and let it roll.. be you. be happy. send him a random ":)" one day... or every few days
catgotyourtongue Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Hi glad you met someone nice, that's so cool. I am not the person to talk abt how to date well or be in a relationship, I SUCK at it, lol. I too am independent but I make sure if and when I date, that I go the extra mile to show I care. Often, but that is who I am as a friend, person. I love showing people I care...(outside of all the times I show them how pissed I am, or upset, etc, lol...) I agree with the poster who said do what comes naturally, you like him, awesome. Never hurts to send a sweet text or email that just says "thinking about you" out of the blue. IF you are thinnking about him, let him know. You will find the right balance. If I care, I care, life is short, don't want to hold back all the time. So if it feels right, I just go with it. best of luck and stay happy. YaHOOOOOO
Author Butterflying Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 I guess I spoke too soon on this issue. Within a week, I experienced more with this particular guy than I have with some guys in years. It literally felt like we'd known each other our whole lives. So we had sex on our third date which happened only 6 days after meeting each other. Right after that, I'm talking hours, EVERYTHING changed. He seemed to have been thrilled with the experience during and after it happened. The next morning, he acted like he didn't know me at all. The alarm went off. I got out of bed and let myself out because he was supposed to be getting ready for work. He just lay there, didn't touch me or kiss me goodbye. Nothing. After two days of not hearing from him at all, I sent a text message just wishing him a good day. He said "thanks." But nothing else. So I have absolutely no idea what is going on now. Did I sleep with him too soon? I'd like to ask him what happened but I don't want to seem like I'm being clingy. I just don't understand how sex can cause such drastic change in his behavior. He knew I wasn't a virgin so why would this happen?
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