mea Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 My breakup was back in April 2010, I took it hard as I thought what we had together was pretty special, he did too but after 8 years of good times as he put it, the last couple of months were too hard and he didn't want to keep trying. Fast forward to now, I did everything I thought I would help myself, ran a half marathon, travelled, got my career on track. Managed to stay no contact from April through to November when he contacted my by email, i stupidly replied and then again a couple of txts. Then I saw him at a wedding over the holidays. I knew it was coming but didn't think it would hit me as hard as it did. Of course, Murphy's law when I arrived (on time) only he and his two best friends were there. Said hello and chatted later in the night, he asked me alot of questions about my family and friends. Left the wedding earlish as didnt' want to get too emotional. As soon as I left I crumbled and knew i felt the same way about him. Then 10 days later, I have done something even more stupid and emailed him, just to say it was good to see him and if he ever wanted to catchup to let me know. So pathetic I know, he replied back very politely, saying nice to see me and to keep in touch, so of course which I reply and haven't heard anything. I think for him he wants to be on good terms so that is why he sends me random emails and txts as his family and friends have been very supportive to me and he wouldn't want to be seen as the bad guy but really he wants nothing to do with me. So i don't think I am quite back to square one but I thought I was doing so well but now I know I am still the girl that is in love with someone that doesn't love her.
precious1 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Aww..I'm so sorry for what you're going through hun. I can totally relate to what you're going through. I've bumped into my ex a few times and realized he looks at me with nothing inothing in his eyes anymore. I of course always keep my cool and fall apart once I'm by myself. Just cling to your NC...its the only way. There is nothing that we can ever do to make another person feel love for us. Just know that after the rain...the sun always comes out. At least you are still being proactive in moving on. And that's more than a lot of us can say. Our exes have made their decisions and are sure as hell sticking to them. In the event that there is ever a change, he knows how to reach you.. and until/ if that ever happens, I just avoid them like the plague. I can't imagine how you must be feeling especially after an 8 yr relationship. You sound like a very strong person, and with time I'm sure you will be just fine. Just take it easy...remember what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.
cerridwen Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 It certainly doesn't help that when you see each other again, it's at a wedding of all things! Asking you to feel NOTHING in that environment is asking the impossible. Also, it's only been 9 months since the breakup and the scab was formed but not completely healed. Regroup mea. You have the mental wherewithal to train for a half marathon, you can overcome this too.
Author mea Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 Thanks precious and cerridwen for your words of encouragement. I really do just hate feeling so weak. Funny things is I think i knew deep down break no contact wasn't going to change things but I think i just hadnt' want to stop believing in him/us and just need to make sure that door was closed. Now it definitely is shut in my face, just need to stop focusing on him.
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