LostInLA Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Sorry for the double post, meant to post here. Anyways, I'll try to get to the point. Basically, my boyfriend drove 5 hours to go house and pet sit for his ex's sister for a week while his ex, her sister and a few other family members went out of town for a trip. He was going to do this at no charge but was broke so they are paying him. Was it wrong of him to go do this? Inappropriate? Am I feeling bothered by this for no reason? I'm trying to be an adult here but at the same time I want to make sure I am respected as well. Details about us: Been dating for 9 months, exclusive for 5. He wasn't quite over his break up when we first started dating but maintained contact and a friendship with his ex which has bothered me. He is friends with all of his ex's and even is roommates with a previous ex and her boyfriend, and no that doesn't bother me, I've met her and her bf. We are both 35. Thanks for your opinions.
theodora Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I prefer a man who has no ties or contact with his ex's. THe worst kind of men are the ones who have 'best friends' who they used to go out with. I hate that. It just doesn't help ANYTHING. And I don't understand why people do it. I mean, there are people I've been out with who I can still tolerate. But if we were meant to be friends, we'd have been friends. We weren't friends, we were lovers. Which is not the same as friends. So why be friends after? I don't get it. Anyway. I suppose the real fear here is that you are his rebound relationship from her, and he's certainly not helping you disspell that fear. I can't imagine how you've even got to this point, him 'getting over' her, for the first 5 months of your relationship! If I was you, I'd give him a bit of a talking to about your feelings and your expectations. If he's the kind of guy who goes out of his way to help ANYONE, then fair enough, maybe this sort of thing is ok. But if he's just going out of his way for his ex, then he needs to step up and start showing you some respect. You're meant to be the person he goes out of his way to help now, not some ex girlfriend who broke his heart. Sometimes people just don't realise till you put it to them like that. He may just be acting according to old habits.
mortensorchid Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 That is a bit strange now that I read this a second time. It would be best if the person did not have contact with his ex, but here is a question : is this an ex WIFE or ex girlfriend? They are/can be different ballgames.
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