RandomHero Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 I'm 21 and she's 20...we've been dating for over a year. I'm crazy in love with my girlfriend and we broke up over week ago. Everything used to be perfect, and I mean perfect. We never fought about anything and loved eached other so much. But last week she said she needed some space and had to think about things because she felt our "spark" has left our relationship. But on top of that, she felt like I haven't been paying her the same attention I used to and feels I like to spend more time with her brother then her. I sometimes would play xbox with her brother when I went over, but also because she would play it with us. My mistake is there were a few times when she asked me to stop playing and I didn't. I agree the past couple months have been not as great, I remember when we were very 'lovey dovey' and had sex all the time, but recently we haven't been. It's been around 2 months since we slept together. We met up on Wednesday and talked over lunch. I told her I apologized for not paying her as much attention and want her back more then anything, and that we can get our passion back but she said she thinks it's too late. In my opinion, it's never too late. My good friend gave me some of the best advice, he said "There's people that have been married for 30 years, lose their 'spark', and then get it back better then ever. Then theirs couples that date for a few months and lose it and end the relationship. If someone really loses their spark, they never had it in the first place." I totally agree, and I told her that. We had it very good, I just need to get a chance to get it back for us...if she lets me. This all happened at the perfect worst timing, I had bought a fresh box of condoms and was planning on changing big time. I wanted to make things like they were when we first fell in love...we did so much and I treated her perfect. It sucks this had to happen NOW. Anyway, after we hung out on Wednesday, I gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek, which got a smile from her. The last time I talked to her was last night, she called me around 3am after getting back from her friends and we talked a little bit. I have been going 'No Contact' pretty much because I want her to come to me. I'm afraid she might think I don't care which will lead to her doing the same. This break up has been very hard...I make it look like I'm doing my thing and not being depressed by Facebook posts and telling her about my day on the phone, but in reality, I've been depressed and can't stop looking at her pictures. Whats the best advice for a situation like this? Please help me. Thanks guys.
krymej Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 with the no contact rule its a time for you to heal and work on yourself and give her head space... however if she is contacting you in this NC period and you do want to reconcilliate then don't be rude by not returning her calls and messages, but then don't be her lap dog either. keep busy and stay strong, don't be weak just be positive around her and make small positive steps. dont go chasing her or trying to beg or change her mind. That in my experience really annoys a woman, instead focus enjoying yourself and showing her a good time when you are together and keep it nice a short. End the conversation on a high, don't drag it out and bore her it will allow you to have much more to talk about. and maybe she may want more.
Author RandomHero Posted January 8, 2011 Author Posted January 8, 2011 with the no contact rule its a time for you to heal and work on yourself and give her head space... however if she is contacting you in this NC period and you do want to reconcilliate then don't be rude by not returning her calls and messages, but then don't be her lap dog either. keep busy and stay strong, don't be weak just be positive around her and make small positive steps. dont go chasing her or trying to beg or change her mind. That in my experience really annoys a woman, instead focus enjoying yourself and showing her a good time when you are together and keep it nice a short. End the conversation on a high, don't drag it out and bore her it will allow you to have much more to talk about. and maybe she may want more. Very true, last nights phone conversation had some quiet patches but she was falling asleep on the phone since it was so late haha I told her to text me tomorrow, which is today, but I haven't heard anything. I wonder if she even remembers me saying it...regardless, I'm staying dormant.
Author RandomHero Posted January 8, 2011 Author Posted January 8, 2011 Anybody else able to give me some advice??
SDA Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 I don't think there's anything you can do to win her back. Just gotta leave her be and see if she comes back
lostanddazed Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I have the same fears you do in my current situation. Im worried she might already be with someone else infact.. even though she will probably deny till the day she dies. What I did was sent her an email today.. letting her know I would like to give it one more shot.. I Havnt heard anything back yet.. but im not sure if thats good or bad lol. I don't know man everyone here says NC.. but I think thats whats best if what you want to do is move on. Im not saying beg them, or annoy them. But personally I really don't see what letting someone know sincerly you want to give it one more try, and if you hear nothing.. then take that for what it is.. and move on. Trust me, I been living with my girl almost 6 years.. Just picturing her with another guy destroys me..and thinking that we are over.. is brutal. But if I dont hear anything in the next couple days.. im deleting my facebook.. because I get to tempted to look at her profile.. and If I see her with another dude im going to jail lol.
Author RandomHero Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 I have the same fears you do in my current situation. Im worried she might already be with someone else infact.. even though she will probably deny till the day she dies. What I did was sent her an email today.. letting her know I would like to give it one more shot.. I Havnt heard anything back yet.. but im not sure if thats good or bad lol. I don't know man everyone here says NC.. but I think thats whats best if what you want to do is move on. Im not saying beg them, or annoy them. But personally I really don't see what letting someone know sincerly you want to give it one more try, and if you hear nothing.. then take that for what it is.. and move on. Trust me, I been living with my girl almost 6 years.. Just picturing her with another guy destroys me..and thinking that we are over.. is brutal. But if I dont hear anything in the next couple days.. im deleting my facebook.. because I get to tempted to look at her profile.. and If I see her with another dude im going to jail lol. Hahaha I hear ya man. It would tear my heart into a million pieces if she got together with someone else...I just have to have hope. I'm debating on texting her cause I just can't stand not talking to her.
Recommended Posts