SithLord Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 From my experiences throughout all my relationships, my best effective no contact method is when I cut them off without notice. Talking fine one day and the next day never heard from again. These girls experience psychological problems for the simple fact they never got to vent, hear my voice again. Never failed for me and people I know. Now im going to use this method on my recent x, SHE came back in my life and now shes done.
nessaaa Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 You should seriously not do that. I hate when people do that to me. Im seriously dying over here.
Author SithLord Posted January 8, 2011 Author Posted January 8, 2011 Yeah I did, no mercy.....My Ex contact me the 22,23,25, 1,2,3,4,5,7 and now im droping off the face off the earth....
bzoe Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 i wish i was capable of this. whats your secret? i can handle not reaching out. eventually. but when they reach out, i just *HAVE* to reply i was born a care bear and its the bane of my existence
Author SithLord Posted January 8, 2011 Author Posted January 8, 2011 i wish i was capable of this. whats your secret? i can handle not reaching out. eventually. but when they reach out, i just *HAVE* to reply i was born a care bear and its the bane of my existence You don't "HAVE" to do anything. Just sum up the strength and think of all the day. I was being honest with myself, right now is pointless to speak to her. So it's time to cut her off and not look back, no progress is being out of my situation so I'm clearly leaving without notice. In her mind we was talking nice and friendly and now times to to throw her brain in a frenzy.
I have no title Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 haha i did exactly the same...but it's been 25days since I disspeared after we both had a very lovely conversation btw, where he said he still loved me..(he left me for another girl)..and even though i did that, he didn't contact me yet..he is probably so over me, probably the "dissapear effect" doesn't rlly work on guys
carhill Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 IME, no contact is for healing oneself. If lingering goodbyes and explanations don't feel healthy, simply end things and cease contact. I prefer to end things on a positive note because I feel good about it. The other person's feelings are irrelevant at that point, as I've already disconnected them. Another great lesson I've learned from women. IMO, if you're thinking about how the type and implementation of NC will affect the other party, you're still in the relationship; invested. Divest yourself. That's what NC is about. Good luck
PowerOfOne Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 I've been NC since the night she broke up with me. Been 6 or 7 weeks now. She broke it off, what reason could I possibly have to ring her and talk. She made it clear she wanted out. I'm not going to talk to someone who clearly doesn't want to be with me. I've learned from previous breakups that you can't change their minds. I told her that night that friends was not a good idea. As far as I'm concered my NC has given me all my power back. To be honest, I'd be 50/50 as to whether I'd answer her if she called. I don't think I'd be able to ignore her for very long... Thankfully that hasn't been tested. Yet.
Movingthrough Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 I was thinking about this earlier today. I didnt write an email saying i was going NC but i wrote her basically saying in two lines that this was not what i wanted (i was the dumpee, random texts and calls saying she missed me) and if she was with someone else i wasnt going to get in the way of that. It was very mature and def. the "right" thing to do because it killed all the bad blood, but sometimes i feel like i let her off too easy by being mature. I was very straightforward and said that i was not going to deal with her back and forth but i had a sentence at the end that i regret. Basically said if you are in a relationship then there is nothing you can do and i wish you luck. Ehhh, it was like i was telling her it was ok. Point is, from what i wrote i took the high road in my opinion and made its o she could NEVER look back and say i was being an a-hole or d**k whatever BUT what the OP has done is the best way to go. Its the hardest but best way, that really makes them think "wow he is good without me". Im at about 6 weeks NC and i have received one message for the holidays that i didnt respond to. I have seen little things that she has done like leave FB comments on friends walls when they are hanging out with me, then when she finds out its with me, she deletes them. Weird, but i think the dumper as far as psychologically, cant deal with the fact that they are loosing the upper hand. But if you do what the OP has done (when you are the dumpee) you REALLY have the upper hand...
marqueemoon4 Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 thats some cold hearted ****. I don't have it in me, but I guess if you can pull it off more power to you. Lucky me, my ex is a heartless, cold person and she can turn off her emotions with the flick of a switch.
Author SithLord Posted January 8, 2011 Author Posted January 8, 2011 NO MERCY GUYS, It hurts, but f*ck it. Sometimes the hardest decisions is the correct one.
PowerOfOne Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 I don't have any sympathy for my ex if she's hurting over the breakup or my NC. It doesn't make me feel any better but I'm certainly not going to lose sleep over it!!
Movingthrough Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 thats some cold hearted ****. I don't have it in me, but I guess if you can pull it off more power to you. Lucky me, my ex is a heartless, cold person and she can turn off her emotions with the flick of a switch. If you are the dumpee i dont think its cold hearted at all..
Author SithLord Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 I second that motion, NO MERCY!!
DellPickle Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 i wish i was capable of this. whats your secret? i can handle not reaching out. eventually. but when they reach out, i just *HAVE* to reply i was born a care bear and its the bane of my existence think of it this way...its a way to get some footing, to make a stance, to perhaps get the last word if you were dumped to get it as close to an even score as possible...a little selfish, yeah...but these are YOUR emotions and you owe nobody anything in these cases if its your emotions that are on the line
0hpenelope Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 You don't "HAVE" to do anything. Just sum up the strength and think of all the day. I was being honest with myself, right now is pointless to speak to her. So it's time to cut her off and not look back, no progress is being out of my situation so I'm clearly leaving without notice. In her mind we was talking nice and friendly and now times to to throw her brain in a frenzy. Sometimes, I feel like I should've just done this to my recent ex as opposed to telling him, in detail, my conditions for NC. In short, I told him I don't want to ever speak to him again unless he changes his mind about us. I'm learning from mutual friends that he has a pattern of "woe is me, I'm soo alone" and pushes everyone who cares about him away - and apparently, I'm the latest "victim." They have such a low expectation from him that they themselves have told me "Yes, he's an azzhole boyfriend. He isn't worth it. I've thought you were way too good for him," etc. He's not only a crappy boyfriend, but he's sometimes a crappy friend too. Oh well, at least it's clear to him that I don't want to hear from him about anything else but a reconciliation. Because I will assume that I'll never hear from him again and I will move on with my life as I please.
GreenPolicy Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 We had agreed upon getting married, and she had informed her parents, wanted to arrange a dinner for both sets of parents to meet, introduced me to her biological father after having nothing to do with him for years. All gestures that she had never done with any guy she'd ever dated before. And without ever expressing any dissatisfaction with me, the r/l or confiding any second thoughts or doubts about the course we agreed upon, she broke things off. I mailed her a snail letter two weeks afterwards, said I respected her decision, but that I thought that what we had together was worth trying to save through couples counseling and if she didn't want to try that, then we couldn't remain friends or stay in touch. Been NC ever since.
Author SithLord Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 Sometimes, I feel like I should've just done this to my recent ex as opposed to telling him, in detail, my conditions for NC. In short, I told him I don't want to ever speak to him again unless he changes his mind about us. I'm learning from mutual friends that he has a pattern of "woe is me, I'm soo alone" and pushes everyone who cares about him away - and apparently, I'm the latest "victim." They have such a low expectation from him that they themselves have told me "Yes, he's an azzhole boyfriend. He isn't worth it. I've thought you were way too good for him," etc. He's not only a crappy boyfriend, but he's sometimes a crappy friend too. Oh well, at least it's clear to him that I don't want to hear from him about anything else but a reconciliation. Because I will assume that I'll never hear from him again and I will move on with my life as I please. I told my ex i didnt want to be friends, she was shock and started dissing me on facebook, she sounds like a immature groupie jets fan, since thats what the other dude likes....life continues
0hpenelope Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I told my ex i didnt want to be friends, she was shock and started dissing me on facebook, she sounds like a immature groupie jets fan, since thats what the other dude likes....life continues I told him the same thing. I'm not interested in being his friend. I'm NOT like his ex-gf that he befriended after they broke up. Lol nothing like her at all. If I'm that easy to forget, then I should step up too and recognize HE is also just as easy to forget.
DellPickle Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I told him the same thing. I'm not interested in being his friend. I'm NOT like his ex-gf that he befriended after they broke up. Lol nothing like her at all. If I'm that easy to forget, then I should step up too and recognize HE is also just as easy to forget. Ive done the same and it felt so good...she would contact me, and I would usually respond...not always, but at least 3/4 of the time....but when I tried to contact her she rarely responded...at best 1/4 of the time...then she asked after time why I stopped responding to her, I gave her my reasons and told her lets stop pretending, we're not friends and you can expect to never hear from me again unless its an urgent situation and thats what I expect out of you unless you want a friendship like I described....
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