my fiance is distant and on tour. she comes back in a few days. advice on homecomming

[p]

my fiance has been on tour for a month and a half now. She decided to postpone the wedding a few weeks ago and has been very distant on the phone. She says that we have things to work on, and that she doesn't miss me sexually while she is away. Anyways, she gets back in a few days, and I need some advice on the best things to do to make someone comfortable with being back after being gone for so long. any advice on making the situation less akward?

[NEONINK]

Candlelit dinners and flowers and a bottle of wine for starters. She probably needs to unwind without any pressures. Then fill the tub with a warm bubblebath. Give her some breathing room in your home. Let her go and enjoy herself in the safety and sanctity of your abode. Later you can read a good book like to her... If the Buddha Married.

[jenny]

i have to be honest; her words do not sound positive. she did not miss you sexually? you have things to talk about? i don't know. i would take these as inidications an upcoming break-up.

[SoleMate]

I agree with jenny. This is either a breakup, or pretty darn close to it. If I were you, I would start the deep breathing and meditation right now, to be prepared for whatever is going to hit. I also would NOT do any extra special preparations, because they might backfire or just make you both squirm. I'd have things comfortable, and a dinner and drink ready, and some private time prepared, but just be aware that you may be hearing some things you don't want to hear.

 

Question: Did you have any inkling that she was unhappy when she gave you this message? Does she generally say that you are understanding her well? It worries me a little that she is giving off these clear "trouble" messages, and you are not picking them up. Male failure to "grok" the signals from the female is a major contributing cause to relationship dysfunction.

[misterman]

I'm in a similar position. At least I think I am.

 

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years now. She spends a lot of time at uni, a long way away, however we meet up as much as possible - every other weekend, so she can concentrate on her studies and I can concentrate on my career.

 

I love her so much - she is the main thing in my life and until recently I thought I was the main thing in hers. However recently she started questioning about whether we were a long-term couple; I always thought we were. She has now said when she is away at uni she doesn't miss me as she used to do. Nothing has happened in the relationship itself - we're both the same people we started off as. She's merely taking a step back and analysing our relationship in a long-term sense, which I respect her for.

 

But I hate this. I can't bear to think of us apart. She means so much to me. Does anyone else have experience with this? I know this could be the start of a break-up, hich I so dearly don't want to happen. So much has gone on in the short space of time we've been together - it's a cliche, I know - but I can't imagine life without her. She's being so kind and feeling really guilty, which is the last thing I want. What could have made her stop missing me?

 

What can I do?!