Assist me in starting, Online Dating: The Profile

[somedude81]

It's a new year, and I figure I might as well try online dating.

 

I have profiles on Plenty of Fish and Okay Cupid, but I haven't contacted anybody. Frankly, I never got around to finishing either profile.

 

So I'm asking for help from the good men and women of LoveShack on making a good profile that women will respond to.

 

Here's my basic info that I need to somehow work into a profile.

 

29 years old

5'6 but about 5'7.5 with shoes on. So I'll list my height as 5'7.

Body is between Average and Fit.

I'm a full time college student

 

I look much younger than I actually am. I could say I was 23 and nobody would question it.

 

My interests/hobbies are video games, anime, general computer stuff, salsa and social dancing, working out, surfing, going to the beach, casually jogging and bike riding. I also read a lot of self-improvement material.

 

I don't really know what else to add or what to leave out.

 

Any help is greatly appreciated.

[joeLove]

If you are a salsero (Salsa Dancer), then you got a skill that will help you meet as many girls as you can without the help of online dating. Of course, it depends on the area of the country where you live. Where I live, there are salsa dancing event almost every week. Plenty of ladies want to learn and if you can dance decently, ladies line up to dance with you.

Of course, you need to have good social skills to take it from the dance floor to a date and more, but ... just the opportunity to meet people and socialize with them and show them what you can should give you plenty of opportunities to date.

I don't do online profile, but I imagine, you could create an profile around some of your skills you have described:

For example: Salsa Dancer Extra-ordinaire looking for ... dancing queen ... or something like that ... I guess. Something catchy that will make you woman want to get to know you.

A few other things: Google 'salsa event calendar' and make sure to visit salsa event close to where you live. Go to socials and make friends ... and let your friends know you are a good dancer, before you know it, friends of friends will be looking for you ...

Good luck and be more positive and up beat :D:D

[OceanGirl]

Pics will make or break your profile so do you want to post some and we can tell you which ones are the best? You can PM me if you want to do it privately.

[oaks]

5'6 but about 5'7.5 with shoes on. So I'll list my height as 5'7.

 

I'm curious why you think "height" means "height when wearing heels" but it's your call. You'll be in good company if you lie about your height according to this article:

 

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/

[somedude81]

I'm not that good at Salsa yet so I don't want it to be the focus of my profile. But I do plan on contacting women who say they like to dance.

 

Pics will make or break your profile so do you want to post some and we can tell you which ones are the best? You can PM me if you want to do it privately.

I know pics are very important, but have you ever contacted a guy based on his pics alone?

 

I'll work on my pics after I get a decent profile. I'm just really stuck on how to start.

Never listen to women when it comes to online dating advice. Instead seek out the advice of men who are successful at it. Trust me on this.

I'm looking for advice from both men and women.

I'm curious why you think "height" means "height when wearing heels" but it's your call. You'll be in good company if you lie about your height according to this article:

 

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/

Heh, maybe I should list my height as 5'8 then

 

Honestly, I don't want a girl to look at my height and think, "too short." Either way, I'm not going to bother with anybody above 5'8.

[liverpool fc]

 

My interests/hobbies are video games, anime, general computer stuff, salsa and social dancing, working out, surfing, going to the beach, casually jogging and bike riding. I also read a lot of self-improvement material.QUOTE]

 

you have plenty of interests, the more you have simply means the more in common you can possibly have to talk about, if you have any more add them in

[OceanGirl]

somedude,

 

How would you describe your personality in 3 words?

When you list your hobbies, try to expand each one a bit by writing a couple of sentences rather than just making the list.

Were you born in the same city/country that you live in now?

Is there anything unusual about you, any talents that most other people don't have?

What are you studying? What would you like to do after you finish college?

 

Overall, try to make your profile sound upbeat and positive while giving the reader a snapshot of you really are. It would also help if you worded it in such a way that makes it sound a bit different than most profiles you see on there.

[alexlakeman]

California... Are you Mexican? Mexican women are pretty short, so the height won't be an issue and at least you can dance salsa.. i can only do that with a few drinks, lol...

 

As for profile.. It is an ONGOING thing.. you can't just sit there one Saturday afternoon and write your profile.. just start short, and keep adding.. I've actually over time, gotten ideas from reading the women's profiles... NOT copying, but just the way they say things..

 

Talk about what you are looking for... a relationship, a ltr, a potential SO, or just a booty call (you won't get much with the booty call option, btw)< LOL..

 

Mention your local favorite spots, or what you like to do, ie I like to go to Miguel's Bar on Friday's for HH, or I love to chill out at home on a Sunday night just watching a dvd... beach, etc.. whatever your interests are that might be able to be compatible for women.. NOT, what you like to do with the guys (well except sports), ie, I am not going to put on there, "I want a s/o to help me work on my car", lol.. that might come with time after you meet, lol..

 

Umm, what else... Talk about your job, education (if going to college, etc.)...

 

It just starts rolling, but start with something, and start reading the women's profiles..

 

good luck..

 

p.s. work on the salsa, if I knew better salsa, it be a piece of cake. You don't know how many times I go out and see the women dancing by themselves and the guys just hanging out talking, lol..

[alexlakeman]

Also write about CHEMISTRY.. look that sh)t up on goggle, memorize it, exercise it, lol, talk about it in your profile.

[somedude81]

somedude,

 

How would you describe your personality in 3 words?

When you list your hobbies, try to expand each one a bit by writing a couple of sentences rather than just making the list.

Were you born in the same city/country that you live in now?

Is there anything unusual about you, any talents that most other people don't have?

What are you studying? What would you like to do after you finish college?

 

Overall, try to make your profile sound upbeat and positive while giving the reader a snapshot of you really are. It would also help if you worded it in such a way that makes it sound a bit different than most profiles you see on there.

Wow, good questions. That's the stuff I don't think of.

 

Okay, I'd describe myself as fairly easy going. I'm a little quiet around new people and situations but I push myself to be more outgoing. I am very persistent or dedicated when I want to accomplish a goal.

 

It's not exactly three words to describe myself.

 

Which hobbies should I expand upon? I could right more about dancing. I really don't want to give a lot of attention to something a woman wouldn't care about.

 

I was born and raised in California. Though I lived in the San Francisco Bay (Yay Giants) Area most of my life, I'm going to a university in Southern California. I've been here for two years.

 

Anything unusual? Uh, I don't think very many men know how to social dance. I think I'm a good listener/conversationalist. I'm also fairly good with computers and technology but I don't know how that stands out these days.

 

I'm currently studying information technology/systems or it can be called computer management/support.

 

My dream job for after I finish college would to be a contractor and do assignments across the country. Something like one month on an assignment, then travel to a different state and do a job there.

 

I'd also love to travel the world; Japan, Europe, South America etc.

 

Thanks for giving me some focus.

California... Are you Mexican? Mexican women are pretty short, so the height won't be an issue and at least you can dance salsa.. i can only do that with a few drinks, lol...

I'm actually half Cuban half white. So I'm average height for a Cuban man.

 

Anybody can learn to salsa. When I first started, I absolutely sucked. I took three semester length classes and now I'm better at it. This semester I'm taking Social dance which is Swing, Waltz, Tango, etc.

 

As for profile.. It is an ONGOING thing.. you can't just sit there one Saturday afternoon and write your profile.. just start short, and keep adding.. I've actually over time, gotten ideas from reading the women's profiles... NOT copying, but just the way they say things..

Yeah it's definitely an ongoing thing. So I'm here to get ideas. I actually do read a lot of women's profiles. For some reason when a woman has a lot of stuff in her profile, it can be pretty intimidating.

 

Talk about what you are looking for... a relationship, a ltr, a potential SO, or just a booty call (you won't get much with the booty call option, btw)< LOL..

My ultimate goal is to get a LTR but I think putting that out there will scare women away. I'd also like to simply just date and see what people are out there.

 

Frankly I haven't had any success at all with women. So anything is better than what I've had. Obviously I can't write that in my profile.

 

I'd prefer to write whatever women would respond positively to.

 

Mention your local favorite spots, or what you like to do, ie I like to go to Miguel's Bar on Friday's for HH, or I love to chill out at home on a Sunday night just watching a dvd... beach, etc.. whatever your interests are that might be able to be compatible for women.. NOT, what you like to do with the guys (well except sports), ie, I am not going to put on there, "I want a s/o to help me work on my car", lol.. that might come with time after you meet, lol..

Eh, I really don't get out much. There are a couple of places in town that I'd like to check out but I'm not going to go by myself.

 

I'm about a ten minutes bike ride from the beach, so I go there when the weather's nice. There are a couple of really cool spots within bike distance.

 

What interests would be compatible for women? I take it most girls aren't going to be interested staying inside and watching anime or playing video games.

Umm, what else... Talk about your job, education (if going to college, etc.)...

 

It just starts rolling, but start with something, and start reading the women's profiles..

 

good luck..

 

p.s. work on the salsa, if I knew better salsa, it be a piece of cake. You don't know how many times I go out and see the women dancing by themselves and the guys just hanging out talking, lol..

I really do want to start doing salsa in clubs. Up until know it's been nothing but a school setting.

 

Also write about CHEMISTRY.. look that sh)t up on goggle, memorize it, exercise it, lol, talk about it in your profile.

I don't know crap about chemistry. That shlt is why I'm always getting friendzoned.

[bac]

I have profiles on Plenty of Fish and Okay Cupid, but I haven't contacted anybody.

29 years old

5'6 but about 5'7.5 with shoes on. So I'll list my height as 5'7.

Body is between Average and Fit.

I'm a full time college student

 

I look much younger than I actually am. I could say I was 23 and nobody would question it.

 

My interests/hobbies are video games, anime, general computer stuff, salsa and social dancing, working out, surfing, going to the beach, casually jogging and bike riding. I also read a lot of self-improvement material.

 

I don't really know what else to add or what to leave out.

 

Any help is greatly appreciated.

 

IMO, OKC is much more effective than POF. From what I know, POF is a waste of time.

The height is very important for online girls. If I were you, I would say that I was 5.8-5.9.

No one will ever check your real height. Many guys add a few inches to get the first date.

 

Call your body fit ot athletic because it sounds better. Guys who say that they are average are often fat.

 

Age 29 is fine for online girls. You can score with younger girls online easily because the girls are looking for fun/dating. They are not the college girls.

Many online girls are fine with older men because for dating it is good to be mature and with some money.

Saying that you look younger sounds needy for younger girls.

 

I am not sure that girls like guys who are into video games much.

Also, saying that you read a lot of self-improvement material translates into suggestion that you have serious self-esteem problems. You do not need to say your potential date that you are not good enough and you need a lot of self-improvement.

[Jazzari]

I strongly disagree with lying about your height or age. That makes you untrustworthy right off the bat. You might get the first date, but you'd never get a second with me even if I liked you. I would be thinking "you misrepresented yourself about those things - what else might he be lying about?"

 

I personally like casual, chatty profiles. I don't like those that are formal or read like a job application. I'd list the things that are most important to you, not what might attract the most women. You want to find the right one, not just anyone.

[Ariadne]

I am very persistent or dedicated when I want to accomplish a goal.

It's not exactly three words to describe myself.

 

Everyone is like that.

[oaks]

I strongly disagree with lying about your height or age. That makes you untrustworthy right off the bat. You might get the first date, but you'd never get a second with me even if I liked you. I would be thinking "you misrepresented yourself about those things - what else might he be lying about?"

 

I agree. Same here (although from my perspective I'm thinking of women who exaggerate their height).

[somedude81]

IMO, OKC is much more effective than POF. From what I know, POF is a waste of time.

The height is very important for online girls. If I were you, I would say that I was 5.8-5.9.

No one will ever check your real height. Many guys add a few inches to get the first date.

I really don't know about saying I'm 5'8 or over. The last thing I want to happen is a girl to find out she's taller than me when I claimed I was a height taller than her

 

Of course I can avoid that by not contacting anybody above 5'7.

 

 

Call your body fit ot athletic because it sounds better. Guys who say that they are average are often fat.

Fit it is.

Age 29 is fine for online girls. You can score with younger girls online easily because the girls are looking for fun/dating. They are not the college girls.

Many online girls are fine with older men because for dating it is good to be mature and with some money.

Saying that you look younger sounds needy for younger girls.

Oh, then I won't mention that I look younger.

 

BTW, is there a rule I should fallow for the ages a girl is looking for? Meaning if a 23 year old woman is looking for guys 23-26; would it be OK to message her? Versus if somebody is 21 and they are looking for guys 20-22.

I am not sure that girls like guys who are into video games much.

Also, saying that you read a lot of self-improvement material translates into suggestion that you have serious self-esteem problems. You do not need to say your potential date that you are not good enough and you need a lot of self-improvement.

Wow, good call on the self-esteem problems and you are totally right. I won't make any mention of them.

I strongly disagree with lying about your height or age. That makes you untrustworthy right off the bat. You might get the first date, but you'd never get a second with me even if I liked you. I would be thinking "you misrepresented yourself about those things - what else might he be lying about?"

I'm not going to lie about my age in online dating. Though girls in my real life, will have to guess how old I am cause I won't bring it up. If I run into a cute 19 year old girl in my salsa class, I'm not in any hurry to tell her I'm 29.

 

As for my height. I'm only lying about 1 inch or so. The only way they will know that I'm not the height I claim to be is when I take my shoes off and odds are by that time, she won't care

I personally like casual, chatty profiles. I don't like those that are formal or read like a job application. I'd list the things that are most important to you, not what might attract the most women. You want to find the right one, not just anyone

Ah but I am looking for just about anyone. I want to date a few girls before I settle down into a serious relationship.

 

I'm afraid that the things most important to me are actually girl repellent.

 

I'll take some time to work on a chatty casual profile.

[oaks]

BTW, is there a rule I should fallow for the ages a girl is looking for? Meaning if a 23 year old woman is looking for guys 23-26; would it be OK to message her? Versus if somebody is 21 and they are looking for guys 20-22.

 

There's not a rule, but you might consider self restraint. If a girl says she's looking for guys aged 23-26 then she isn't likely to want to hear from someone who is 29 unless she's really bad at counting. You'll probably be wasting your time and hers and annoying her too.

[bac]

I really don't know about saying I'm 5'8 or over. The last thing I want to happen is a girl to find out she's taller than me when I claimed I was a height taller than her

 

 

BTW, is there a rule I should fallow for the ages a girl is looking for? Meaning if a 23 year old woman is looking for guys 23-26; would it be OK to message her? Versus if somebody is 21 and they are looking for guys 20-22.

 

 

I am 5'2 and I have met online a bunch of guys who stated that they were from 5'7 to 5'9. There is no way for me to figure out their real inches.

I am always taller than any of the guys if I put nice shoes with hills on. Some guys who stated that they were 5'9 were taller than me, some of them were shorter than me. But, I would never make a big deal of the inches and insist on using tape to check their real height.

 

Age is a different thing because anyone can find out it easily. It is a good idea to be truthful about your age.

 

To contact a girl, it does not really matter what guys's age she is looking for.

[joeLove]

I have the impression that you focus a lot on the things you can't do versus the positive/fun aspect of things you do or want to do. The difference is like night and day.

 

You focus too much on Age, Skill, height ... honestly, those are not of major importance, if you bring a positive outlook/vibe to people around you.

I'm not saying your should showboat of lie or anything, but I think you should use more positive words to describe all the things you do and make sure people don't see you are 'boring'.

 

Like I said earlier, take the things you do and present them in a positive/fun way ...I.e: Don't just say you like to salsa dance ... tell in your profile how you feel and how your partner feels, when you are on the dance floor... and so on ... Give girls the envy to go salsa dancing with you. Apply that to some other skills you have as well... and so on.

Also, don't try to be jack-of-all-trades on your profile. If you have profiles on different sites, you can always take one particular interesting thing about you and elaborate on it on one site and do the same for another aspect on another site and so on. Don't try to have everything about you in one profile ...

The Salsa scene in Southern Cali is very vibrant. EL Grand Combo will play there at the end of the month ... plan to invite a girl ...

Enjoy

[alexlakeman]

Okay, I'd describe myself as fairly easy going. I'm a little quiet around new people and situations but I push myself to be more outgoing. I am very persistent or dedicated when I want to accomplish a goal.

 

Which hobbies should I expand upon? I could right more about dancing. I really don't want to give a lot of attention to something a woman wouldn't care about.

 

Here goes, we won't charge you consulting fees... slow Saturday for me, wtf... lol

 

"I would describe myself as easy going, like to either go out and have fun with friends and / or significant other, or just stay home on a Sunday night and watch a movie with a potential s/o.

 

I love to dance, especially salsa, NOT that I am any good at it, but definitely would love to meet someone that likes music. If you don't like salsa that's fine I also like abc and zyv music. If you like salsa, maybe we can learn together or you teach me, lol. I also like to read different types of books, going to Barnes & Noble, etc.

 

I like to listen to music, weather it's abc, zus, or salsa (fill in the blanks, you have to put something else other than salsa and do NOT emphasize salsa, if not you will loose your chance with the American chics)";

 

"I was born and raised in CA, in the San Fransisco area all my life, going to school at abc university. (DON'T mention you want to travel around the country when you graduate, you'll loose a few prospects there).

 

I like to travel and would love to travel with my significant other when I graduate; weather for work or pleasure. I would love to travel to Japan, Europe, South America, etc."

 

I'm actually half Cuban half white. So I'm average height for a Cuban man.

Bueno, entonces te voy ha ayudar, lol....

 

"I would love someone who likes to dance and we can take dance lessons together, unwind, have some fun, and maybe learn some different styles of dancing. Are you up for it?"

 

 

I'd also like to simply just date and see what people are out there.

 

I think there is enough selection out there where you CAN narrow it down some; you can always open up your selection a bit, if the pool of candidates is not large enough; BUT, don't just pick random chics to write to. It won't work.. IT WORKS, when you see there is something in common in her profile, and you can write to her about that SPECIFIC item, ie if she goes to the same school, or is in school, or likes to dance or likes to read... AND always end it with a question, so to make easy for her to respond. For example... YOUR RESPONSE plus whatever you put before this, this is JUST the ending "I see you go to abc college studying Pharmacy. That's got to be very hard. How do you balance school and social life?"

 

If you pick and random girl to write to , and you don't really feel it, it might not happen. You have to write to each one of them as if it THE last and ONLY one.. MAKE it different than every one else's email to her. SHOW that you actually read her FULL profile and that you actually have stuff in common. EXAMPLE.. I emailed one lady the other day, and I put a catchy subject on the subject line "read my email last", lol...

 

 

 

There are a couple of places in town that I'd like to check out but I'm not going to go by myself.

 

I'm about a ten minutes bike ride from the beach, so I go there when the weather's nice. There are a couple of really cool spots within bike distance.

 

"I like to go out sometimes and would love to meet someone to explore new places around town. I live near the beach and love to go biking or walking on the beach; a lot of nice spots to explore around the beach that I'd love to try"

 

 

I take it most girls aren't going to be interested staying inside and watching anime or playing video games.

 

I don't know crap about chemistry. That shlt is why I'm always getting friendzoned.

 

Don't blow it by mentioning video games; keep that in "the closet", TMI, right now, lol...

 

Friendzoned? You just have to work at it.. First gotta get the number, then the call, then the first meet, then the date 1-3 times, kiss, .... if by the third date you don't feel the chemistry, fuzzy feelilng; either send her a text that she's a great girl, blah, blah, blah, but you feel you are not compatible"... if NOT you do end up in the friend zone, f)ck it...

 

Seriously, chemistry is key.. read up on the crap... go to askmen dot com, alot of good articles there...and a forum as well.

 

 

I'm sure someone will disimenate my suggestions for your profile, but there is NOT a right or wrong answer, it just what feels right, and again, it's an ongoing process; always read it, change one sentence here and there, HAVE current pics.. MENTION that those are current pics.. add pics doing active stuff, biking, beach, etc... or dancing at a party, friends at a party, etc..

[alexlakeman]

EL Grand Combo will play there at the end of the month

 

Really? ... Damn, I will have to ck if they are coming down to S FLA

[alexlakeman]

I am 5'2 and I have met online a bunch of guys who stated that they were from 5'7 to 5'9. There is no way for me to figure out their real inches.

I am always taller than any of the guys if I put nice shoes with hills on. .

 

LOL, you have to change your avatar, 1/2 the time I think you are a guy!! sorry, lol...

[alexlakeman]

Here I like this woman's profile.. Might NOT fit every one, but you can definitely pick some things from there.. I loved the ending... Grab some ideas from there, change it up, add it to what we wrote on this thread and you have your profile going

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hope springs eternal, right? It's a little poignant being on this site close to the holidays, right? After a short break, I'm back. But rather than feel romantically alone for the holidays...I'm choosing to look at this enterprise, my hopes, as a giant, unwrapped gift. Could I find someone? Might I get the gift of a true friend or partner? I'm one of the unfortunates that thought I had found a partner, but learned I had been led down the garden path a bit. Since joining this site, I’ve had some funny lessons, some touching ones…some that nearly break your spirit. What I like the most about this process is meeting people you would never normally meet. On some levels, it’s also the thing I like the least (joking).

The best piece of advice I have had was from a meet and greet wherein the man said, “My strategy is to repel people, rather than draw them to me”. His profile was chock full of button pushing social definitions of himself, and I think he was extremely smart.

So, with this experience so far under my belt, I can now say this. I can be an enormous pain in the b*tt. I am strong, opinionated, and know what I want. But with this comes the bonus of passion and a zest for living.

So, rather than put down the requisite list of what I’m looking for, here’s what I’m NOT looking for, based on my experiences thus far…

Updated: If you are married or otherwise attached....noooo. The best story yet: Man wants relationship, I concur. He lives an hour away...and the stories become increasingly interesting as to why he is unavailable at certain times. Finally, in a last desperate moment, man, who has claimed to have pneumonia (yet Xmas shops and works), furiously texts that he can't speak on the phone because he's having diarrhea at his mother's house. Gotta give him an 'A' for thinking outside the box though.

If you are not the person in the profile photo, or if the photo is more than a year old. No.

Read my profile. I am still in the process of trying to quit smoking. If you happen to be a bodybuilder who doesn’t read profiles, then will flick a mint at me…No.

No cyberstalkers.

Men. Listen up. I thought women were known for lying about their age. Quit lying! Most women want a man a few years older anyway…

If you would potentially tell me to dye my hair black, and have just the person to do it…No.

If you say you are going to take your profile down (because you want an intimate relationship), take it down. I can be a bit smart when I need to be.

If you want to send dirty text messages as a seduction, it won’t work.

As everyone does, you will notice all my photos have me wearing sunglasses. Now, I could tell you that the reason is that I’m part Cherokee (true), and I think the photograph will steal my spirit. Or I could say that I don’t want people pointing at me in Publix. The truth is that these are prescription glasses, and these are outdoor photos. I wear glasses ALL the time. So, indoors I will still have on glasses, but not dark ones. So, don’t tell me to get Lasik, I’m fine with my glasses thanks.

No games or toying. If you are not available or don’t want to meet…No.

At the end of the day, I believe there are some people on this site that are actually wonderful people, warts and all. I am not perfect, no one is perfect. Everyone on this site is searching for something, some with good intentions, some with bad.

I am hoping I fall into the ‘good intentions’ category. I am looking for someone that I can share a bond with. Someone that I can spend time with, knowing some times will be good and some will be bad…that’s the nature of life and relationships, right? I am not looking for marriage, but am looking for someone to be by my side. At the end of the day, isn’t that what most of us want?