Girl dumps me for my best friend

[earthfireuk]

Hi all!

 

I was posting in this forum earlier this year about my big break up which completely devastated me for months. I got really amazing help and advice from you guys so thought I would see what you think about this one?

 

Split with my girl in May (love of my life) and have been dating for the past 5 months. Each girl hasn’t worked out for one reason or another but im cool with that and have moved on and continued with the whole dating thing.

 

A few weeks ago I met this really beautiful girl at the work Christmas party she was 20 ( yes 6 years younger than me). We hooked up and started seeing each other. No lie, she was the most gorgeous looking girl I have ever got with in my life. We got together and went on a few dates and then she stayed over and we began getting intimate. She was soooo keen, I mean really keen! I couldn’t believe my luck! J She would tell me how she wants us to be together and that she thinks im an absolutely amazing person. All the things a guy wants to hear! I have to admit in my mind I was a bit dubious as everything was going so fast but she reassured me and would say “ its fine just go with the flow. I don’t want to slow things down and I really like you ect”. Even though things were blatantly going to mega fast!

 

On New Years Eve she came round and we hung out. In the day we had a very small, silly disagreement because I wasn’t giving her very clear directions while she was driving. It was fine though and we moved past it. In the evening we went out and she met my friends and my best friend of 20 years. They got on really well which I though was nice at the time. In the evening we were both drunk and we had another small drunken disagreement which when we woke up in the morning we both agreed it was just a silly drunken thing and as far as I thought all was well.

 

Then the next day she went home and that day I noticed she had added my best friend who she had met the first time the night before on Facebook, which I thought was a bit strange but didn’t say anything. That night she texted me telling me how much she likes me and wants to be with me. Then over the next couple of days she goes cold. I text’d her asking how she is and that I hope she is having a nice time at work and I get back” yeah its pretty busy” and generally she went completely cold on me. So from telling me one day she wants us to be together and how much she like me, how amazing I am she goes dead. I visit my best friend to see him during the day a couple of days later and he tells me that she has been messaging him on facebook. Very chatty, talkative messages.. Something inside me knew that whatever was going on wasn’t right.

 

I asked a few of my friends what they thought about this and they said it was weird. I messaged her telling her that I think we should call it quits as she has clearly had a change of heart and that I thought it was pretty strange that on the first night she meets my best friend she goes cold on me, adds him on face book and messages him. She responded with “im sorry you feel that way, hope all goes well for you in the future”. I couldn’t quite believe after how keen she was, then all of a sudden she changes and goes strange in such a short amount of time. It seems inhuman :/

 

Anyway, we haven’t spoken for the past few days but I saw my best friend tonight and he has just told me that she has been messaging him and he thinks she likes him and that he thinks she is attractive and wanted to know how I felt about it. I told him that he should do what he feels right and I cant pretend that im not upset by the whole thing because I actually really like this girl and I feel like crap because she seemed like she really liked me and then she goes and dumps me for my best friend in 5mins flat. I’m actually really upset that he is considering hooking up with this girl. Don’t get me wrong Im not Naïve enough to believe that in such a short amount of time this girl is the one ect. I just really liked her and after all the wonderful things she told me after the first meeting with my friend she goes cold and cracks onto him. I can honestly say I have never come across such a thing in my life.

 

I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. Im more disappointed in him than anything else for entertaining the idea of hooking up with her. He told me tonight that that way he see’s it, we weren’t seeing each other long and that she seems to really like him. I told him that she seemed to really like me before she met him and that im really not happy about this.

Any advice would be appreciated. Was she just playing me and will she just play him? I really don’t want him to get hurt. It seems to me she's just young, fickle and immature.

 

Thanks.

 

Matt.

[catgotyourtongue]

First off:

((HUGS)) and I am so sorry this happened to you, truly.

 

Secondly:

Shame on her!!

 

Thirdly:

Double shame on your BF!!!!!!!!!!!

 

You have EVERY right to vent, express, share, be upset etc., and you even did it with such grace and class. WOW. She is a foolish twit to treat you this way and say things without thought, or consequence. I have had dating experiences (minus the best friend part) where it was a lot like this. Men who said how much they cared, how excited they were, how different I was, how happy they were to meet me, blah blah blah, and then whoooosh they want out or did not mean it or thought they did but want xyz. I simply don't get it.

 

I don't understand why people will speak so openly about how much they care, and then turn around and just totally not care on a dime. She seems to have toyed with you, and in the worst way...or one of the worst ways I should say.

 

I wish I had insightful brilliance to give you as to why people do this. My simplistic guess is that perhaps they maybe do feel what they feel when they say it, but they say it too soon or get swept up in what could be, and what is for the moment, without thinking of the longer term, or longer term consequences/affect their words might have on others.

 

I simply don't do it. I don't say that I feel strongly about someone until I actually do. I don't try to mess with heads, minds. When I was younger and inexperienced, I am plenty years older than you, I did say many things I should not have, both good and bad to people I dated. SHE IS 20, you have to keep that in mind, she is 20. She does not really have the knowledge, skills or interests yet to handle adult relationships in a mature way. She simply is young. That is no excuse for poor behavior, at all, but she is young. Maybe she felt a lot at the time, or thought so, and then saw something else, and just wants a lot of attention, from many.

 

As for your friend, shame on him, shame, don't dip your pen in the same well as your best friend, especially not like this, not ever really. BOOO HISSSSS. Some guys play in this circle, I think it's YUK and BAD juju.

 

You sound like a nice, thoughtful guy, who got screwed. Vent all you want my friend, vent away, you have a big LOVESHACK hug from me, and I hope and pray when you are ready, you meet someone wonderful.

 

Now stay away from these youngens, they are not looking for LRT or to settle down.

[fishtaco]

Ah yes. Sorry but that's how it goes in the dating arena.

 

Minus one best friends, minus one hot chick.

 

You know, out of all the desirable qualities in women, physical beauty is the most common one. It's when you find a genuine girl that you should realize her value and hang on to her. She was nothing more than a trophy. Did you do her? If so pat yourself on the back, you nailed a trophy. Move on. She's going to do the same thing to your ex-friend pretty soon, and hook up with some other dude. Then your friend will hopefully learn the true meaning of bros before hos.

 

She's just playing. It's fun for her. You will meet many women in your future that are just having fun like this one. You make sure you have fun with them before they bail. Another good use for trophies - is to use them like trophies. Take them around, the fact that you're with a hot girl will raise your social status, and make you more interesting to other women - future potentials - once this one bails. You have to be thinking one step ahead, and treat trophies like trophies, treat genuine women genuinely. And NEVER get into an LTR with a trophy, even if she's willing.

 

And, it's not inhuman. That's just how quickly some women change their minds. Sooner you learn this fact, the more prepared you will be. Also women with the seemingly inhuman super power of hyper speed mind-changing, usually comes with super psycho power as well. They are often linked. So that's actually a red flag. Luckily, if you go through enough women, you will find better women out there, they may not be as pretty, but they will be more worthy as someone that will be in your life.

 

But you gotta do what you gotta do. Cut off all people that are not nice to you, and keep cranking and keep hooking up with women, until you find a good one. And remember, it's all fun and games until you have the exclusivity talk.

[creighton0123]

I'm the anti-texting crusader. In the future, stop with the text messages. The universal theme of many problems on here has to do with text messaging. Pick up the phone and talk that way.

 

When push comes to shove, you only knew this girl for a few weeks. If he likes her and she likes him, be happy for your friend.

[JohnnyBlaze]

I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. Im more disappointed in him than anything else for entertaining the idea of hooking up with her. He told me tonight that that way he see’s it, we weren’t seeing each other long and that she seems to really like him. I told him that she seemed to really like me before she met him and that im really not happy about this.

Any advice would be appreciated. Was she just playing me and will she just play him? I really don’t want him to get hurt. It seems to me she's just young, fickle and immature.

So? Let her play him. That's his problem now, not yours. I'm contrary to Creighton's closing comment, here. Your former friend is at least as, if not more culpable than she is. Yes, she started it, but he didn't stop it, he didn't tell you right away, and he's trying to justify it, now that it happened. If you can't trust your friends when you bring a new girl around, they're obviously not trustworthy enough to be friends. Fishtaco and CGYT nailed it; she's going to flit from guy to guy for a while, and you were just another man in the chain. To him, however, you were a friend. That should have meant something.

 

With the people I associate with, doing something like that would earn a guy a beating. We would not tolerate that kind of action from anybody. I don't necessarily recommend going that far, but definitely cut him off. Sooner or later, she'll do the same to him. Once that happens, he'll probably come back to try and patch things up. It's entirely up to you as to whether or not you forgive him; if you do, you're a better man than I. I know I wouldn't.

 

That being said, I'm sorry it happened to you. It's hard losing a girl, and it's even harder losing a friend as well. You're being amazingly well composed through all of this, and for that, I commend you. Again, you're better than I. As Don Cherry is known to say, keep your head up, kid. You sound like a pretty good guy; there'll be one that is worth your attention.

 

Take it easy; you have my respect.

 

JB.

[Keridan]

First off:

((HUGS)) and I am so sorry this happened to you, truly.

 

Secondly:

Shame on her!!

 

Thirdly:

Double shame on your BF!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Amen! I agree with those that say yer friend is being a jackass. I've had a couple girls do things similar to this both ways over the years. The one that comes to mind, my friend told her to shove off and didn't speak to her again. In my case, I've just played them off and ignored them after. Either approach works, but not going after it.

 

I agree that a long time friend can get some forgiveness, but he is the one not respecting the friendship if he keeps it going. You expressed you weren't happy about it and that should be enough.

 

I'm very sorry for what you are going through!

[Distant78]

I'm the anti-texting crusader. In the future, stop with the text messages. The universal theme of many problems on here has to do with text messaging. Pick up the phone and talk that way.

 

When push comes to shove, you only knew this girl for a few weeks. If he likes her and she likes him, be happy for your friend.

 

I disagree. Be happy for his "friend" who disrespected him? How would you like it if your best friend started messing around with your ex and then rubbed it in your face? That's not a true friend and so what if he knew the girl for a few weeks. That doesn't excuse what both of those idiots did to this man. He never deserved that and if he can't trust his friends when he has a girl around, there's no point in being buddies with them.

 

I agree with Blaze. If he would've came to me asking me how I felt about messing with my ex, that would've certified a punch to his jaw. True friends don't mess around with their buddy's exes. It does nothing but bring up old issues and triggers, while causing new ones.

[Distant78]

Earthfire you'll find someone who will never do this to you. Not all women in the world are orgasm-chasing skanks who care nothing about how their actions will affect those close to them.

[paddington bear]

Unfortunately, I've seen this so many times with guys. A hot girl comes along, lavishes them with attention and literally all sense goes out the window. They get that glazed look almost like they've been hypnotised and just follow along without thinking in any way logically.

 

Your friend wants his cake and eat it. Wants you to say "hey, it's okay that you want to bed the girl that I really liked, we can still be friends" so that things aren't awkward for him.

 

I don't like people who want their cake and eat it. Why make his life easier for him, when by responding to all her messages, he has made your life horrible?

 

I know it doesn't seem like this now, but you had a lucky escape with this girl. It is unfortunate that this happened with your best friend, but I suspect if it hadn't have been him, she would have done exactly the same with some other guy sooner or later, so you would have lost her anyway.

 

Shame on your friend. And shame on him for not realising that if she's done this to you, she will do it to him - that this is not some amazing, special thing that happened to him, he is, as others mentioned, just another link in the chain.

[earthfireuk]

Thank you for your kind words Catgotyourtoungue. It's really appreciated that you took the time to read and respond to this. I guess its just a reflection of where she is at in her own life and head. I have learnt a valuable lesson about dating women who are just too young and emotionally unready to uphold a relationship.

 

I guess I was very dubious of her age at first as from the way she acted and some of the things she would say; you could tell she was just young. Now I’m not writing off people who are younger than me just because they are young but I too don't really understand how someone can feed you all that rubbish and then ditch you for your best mate at the drop of a hat.

 

If I’m not feeling it, I can't pretend that I do. I either do or I just don’t and If I don’t want to be with that person I don’t make a huge point of letting them know how much I think the world of them and want to be with them so much ect. How can someone seem so intent on being with you to the point where they are reassuring you that "its absolutely fine that things are moving fast" and that "its a good sign that things are moving quickly because its a sign of just how much we want to be together" blah blah blah.. She may as well have just told me she was an alien from another planet who landed last week and wants to take me off to her planet to fertilize a billion beautiful women. Silly comparison I know but the difference between what she said and the reality of things were so different.

I just want to meet someone who’s right for me. Iv been dating since my bad split in May and neither one of them has been right for me in one way or another. I was feeling down about the whole “dating thing” then all of a sudden I meet this beautiful girl who seems to adore me. I couldn’t believe my luck. I shouldn’t have believed my luck..

[earthfireuk]

Thanks Fishtaco, if I’m honest it did feel really good that I pulled a very attractive girl. I couldn't quite believe it and I was proud to have her on my arm. It just really gets me that possibly the most physically attractive woman who has been interested in me has ditched me as soon as she meets my better looking best friend of 20 years. We are like brothers and have always been so close. I feel like there has always been a bit of brotherly rivalry kinda thing going on between us. It really feels like a kick in the balls that this hot girl who I was pretty proud of myself for getting it on with has ditched me for him. Doesn’t do much for my self esteem. I will take your advice though mate. Thanks for taking the time to sort me out . In answer to your question - we had fun lol.

 

Ah yes. Sorry but that's how it goes in the dating arena.

 

Minus one best friends, minus one hot chick.

 

You know, out of all the desirable qualities in women, physical beauty is the most common one. It's when you find a genuine girl that you should realize her value and hang on to her. She was nothing more than a trophy. Did you do her? If so pat yourself on the back, you nailed a trophy. Move on. She's going to do the same thing to your ex-friend pretty soon, and hook up with some other dude. Then your friend will hopefully learn the true meaning of bros before hos.

 

She's just playing. It's fun for her. You will meet many women in your future that are just having fun like this one. You make sure you have fun with them before they bail. Another good use for trophies - is to use them like trophies. Take them around, the fact that you're with a hot girl will raise your social status, and make you more interesting to other women - future potentials - once this one bails. You have to be thinking one step ahead, and treat trophies like trophies, treat genuine women genuinely. And NEVER get into an LTR with a trophy, even if she's willing.

 

And, it's not inhuman. That's just how quickly some women change their minds. Sooner you learn this fact, the more prepared you will be. Also women with the seemingly inhuman super power of hyper speed mind-changing, usually comes with super psycho power as well. They are often linked. So that's actually a red flag. Luckily, if you go through enough women, you will find better women out there, they may not be as pretty, but they will be more worthy as someone that will be in your life.

 

But you gotta do what you gotta do. Cut off all people that are not nice to you, and keep cranking and keep hooking up with women, until you find a good one. And remember, it's all fun and games until you have the exclusivity talk.

[earthfireuk]

Thanks Johnny, Nothing has happened between them yet but he wanted to talk to me about it. She persued him butI dont think he has it in him to turn her down. I think he actually thinks she likes him. I told him ast night that she came accross like she was head over heels for me until the next minute she ditches me lol. I wasnt with this gil for very long but its the principal of the whole thing. Its a bit of a man thing but she was mine. She was the girl who wanted me and who apparently wanted to be with me. The fact she just ditched me for my best buddy makes me feel pretty worthless. Anyone else - not so bad, we wernt together for that long and im not like "i love you" after 5 mins but my best buddy just makes me really feel llike second best to him. I am really dissapointed in him foreven entertaining the idea. He was saying " we have been friends forever and I dont want to upset you" ect. He just wants me to go " yeah thats fine mate, ill pass her on and you can have a go" but I just cant do that and be ok with it. Thanks for the advice though mate. Its tmes like this yor really know who your friends are. From what he said last night he might not bother with her but at the same time if he is already even questioning it. It leads me to beleive he will not be able to resist her.

 

So? Let her play him. That's his problem now, not yours. I'm contrary to Creighton's closing comment, here. Your former friend is at least as, if not more culpable than she is. Yes, she started it, but he didn't stop it, he didn't tell you right away, and he's trying to justify it, now that it happened. If you can't trust your friends when you bring a new girl around, they're obviously not trustworthy enough to be friends. Fishtaco and CGYT nailed it; she's going to flit from guy to guy for a while, and you were just another man in the chain. To him, however, you were a friend. That should have meant something.

 

With the people I associate with, doing something like that would earn a guy a beating. We would not tolerate that kind of action from anybody. I don't necessarily recommend going that far, but definitely cut him off. Sooner or later, she'll do the same to him. Once that happens, he'll probably come back to try and patch things up. It's entirely up to you as to whether or not you forgive him; if you do, you're a better man than I. I know I wouldn't.

 

That being said, I'm sorry it happened to you. It's hard losing a girl, and it's even harder losing a friend as well. You're being amazingly well composed through all of this, and for that, I commend you. Again, you're better than I. As Don Cherry is known to say, keep your head up, kid. You sound like a pretty good guy; there'll be one that is worth your attention.

 

Take it easy; you have my respect.

 

JB.

[earthfireuk]

Thanks Creighton for the response. I aggree that texting can confuse matters and wires can get crossed ect. Its just such a big part of the way we communicate nowadays. Its hard to just ditch it altogether, especially when so many people use it day in day out. To e honest though I dont really think the fact we texted eachother as well as speaking over the phone caused her to want to ditch me. If I stopped texting her it wouldn't have made her change her mind about dropping me and trying to have a go on my best mate.

I see what your saying about the wole " he's your mate and be hppy for him" kinda thing. The thing is thats all well and good if I didnt actually care about the girl. Its a nice thought to be able to pass on a girl to your friend because you care for him and want him to be happy but he should be the one being the friend to me right now and not thinking about striking up something with the girl who messed he best friend around. To him, she is a nice girl wh likes him. To him I am his best mate of 20 years. It will uspet me if he got it on with her, I cant help that. So he has a choice. Be a friend to me or risk going against that on the whim of a fake, fickle young woman. His choice, not mine.

 

I'm the anti-texting crusader. In the future, stop with the text messages. The universal theme of many problems on here has to do with text messaging. Pick up the phone and talk that way.

 

When push comes to shove, you only knew this girl for a few weeks. If he likes her and she likes him, be happy for your friend.

[earthfireuk]

Thanks Distant, It doesnt feel right and I just wanted him to say to me " your my best mate and I will tell her where to go". The fact he's even questioning it clearl means to me he really doesnt want to do that. Which regardless now whether he is going to or not. The fact he wants to is pretty annoying. If both of them get it on its like him saying i dont care about out friendship and she then gets exactly what she wants and gains reassurence that she can play games and get exactly what she wants, whenever she wants it. Leaving me feeling like an idiot. I wouldn't have hit him unless he actually cheated on me with my girlfriend or if I had been going out with a girl for a while and then as soon as we ended ry to get with her. Its more the principal of the thing rather than the whole length of relationship ect. I dont want to be worst than him.

 

I disagree. Be happy for his "friend" who disrespected him? How would you like it if your best friend started messing around with your ex and then rubbed it in your face? That's not a true friend and so what if he knew the girl for a few weeks. That doesn't excuse what both of those idiots did to this man. He never deserved that and if he can't trust his friends when he has a girl around, there's no point in being buddies with them.

 

I agree with Blaze. If he would've came to me asking me how I felt about messing with my ex, that would've certified a punch to his jaw. True friends don't mess around with their buddy's exes. It does nothing but bring up old issues and triggers, while causing new ones.

[catgotyourtongue]

Thank you for your kind words Catgotyourtoungue. It's really appreciated that you took the time to read and respond to this. I guess its just a reflection of where she is at in her own life and head.

I just want to meet someone who’s right for me. Iv been dating since my bad split in May and neither one of them has been right for me in one way or another. I was feeling down about the whole “dating thing” then all of a sudden I meet this beautiful girl who seems to adore me. I couldn’t believe my luck. I shouldn’t have believed my luck..

 

Absolutely, happy to help and you just seem like a good guy -who wouldn't want to help you? I admire you being able to speak calmly and rationally about it, and coming here for help, all of those things are choices, and I think commendable. I know I would feel pissed and betrayed and the list goes on, but that's me.

 

Thanks Fishtaco, if I’m honest it did feel really good that I pulled a very attractive girl. I couldn't quite believe it and I was proud to have her on my arm. It just really gets me that possibly the most physically attractive woman who has been interested in me has ditched me as soon as she meets my better looking best friend of 20 years. We are like brothers and have always been so close. I feel like there has always been a bit of brotherly rivalry kinda thing going on between us. It really feels like a kick in the balls that this hot girl who I was pretty proud of myself for getting it on with has ditched me for him. Doesn’t do much for my self esteem. I will take your advice though mate. Thanks for taking the time to sort me out . In answer to your question - we had fun lol.

 

Hence the problem with HOT GIRLS and landing one, you have to get beyond the hotness to learn who that person is outside of being hot. No offense but men go hog wild, friggin flabbergasted if a hot woman pays attention to them, no less, goes out with them. It's like winning the lottery to "some" men. But a hot or brilliantly beautiful woman no longer holds as much beauty if she is a bonehead, flake, or just toying with you. Same with really hot men, I have been out with them, some great and awesome, some dic*heads. This beautiful woman lured your BFF in just as quickly as you, tho he should have checked himself and back way the hell down ESPECIALLY knowing the pain of your last breakup. Really? That's low. While beauty is stunning, and I know how it must feel to walk with a beautiful women, and made you feel, it doesn't mean a whole lot when this is where it landed you. I am sure there are many a man that will stumble at her feet only to land in the dirt.

 

Your friend is caught in the same web. Don't put beautiful women on pedestals just cause of how they look, it's silly. Get past the looks and see whats underneath my friend, looks change, a good heart and person, often has a better chance of staying good, then a fabulously hot 20 year old can stay fab hot. I know it's different for men, and 'landing the hot chick' has status, street cred, whatever, so what. Plenty of beautiful women are good women and wont act this way, plenty of decent looking women offer way more than some pretty women, and the list goes on.

 

My friend, I think it may just be too soon for you to date, even if you want that. Or UGH dare I say it, as I am not a fan, you may want to casually date a few women for a little bit, (several weeks, whatever) and find out who is worthy of your time and heart. You have not been that far away from your last relationship, and maybe started dating too soon. You GOT the pretty girl, then instant ego boost, but when she flaked, instant ego break, and if one woman has this much influence over you in such a a short time, perhaps, darlin' you just are not ready. Did you get any type of help or do work, self analysis, anything since the bad break up? You may need to work through some of that first, and get yourself back on track. You will have a better "PEOPLE PICKER" if you are more aware of what you want and dont, and what your issues and pains still are.

 

The whole friend thing, BARF BARF BARF :sick:-I realize that you and this girl only had ex amounts of dates, but this sh** just never goes well. He will be the first dude calling you when she breaks his heart, go figure. F that. She is a acting like a spoiled, selfish child and I want to drive over to wherever she is and give her a nice, hard, loving (lol) slap and knock some wisdom, sense and sensitivity into her pretty little head. WHACK, lol:laugh: (kidding, no need to report this to mods, it is a JOKE)

 

Sorry for my bad typos and spelling, I have been in bed with the flu for a week and can't see straight, lol....

[aisle_seat]

Dude, I'm sorry. Fortunately for you, you weren't together long and didn't have a big investment in the relationship, although I know it still stings. She's obviously much less mature than you and doesn't know what she wants, her right at that age and something for you to keep in mind for the future. The other posters are right - it's great having a beauty on your arm but nothing compared to having her love in your heart. You'll find that with someone special I'm sure.

 

As for your friend's behavior, pretty appalling and if nothing else he should learn a lesson from what you went through. Not to mention risking such a long friendship over a flaky girl. I was in a similar situation when I was a bit younger than you; my best friend dated a girl I had broken up with about a year earlier. I didn't mind though because I had been the one to break it off and, honestly, he learned his lesson because they didn't last and he had the same problems with her I did.

 

Maybe that's what your friend needs to have happen. Pretty sh*tty of him to be entertaining going out with her, but chances are she'll burn him like she burned you.

[Distant78]

To him I am his best mate of 20 years.

 

Twenty-year relationship broken because of some booty. That's why people must be very careful when choosing friends. That is not right when a close friend messes with someone you were involved with. Cat is right: He will be calling you back wanting to reconcile the friendship after your ex drops him, and that's when you reject his offer.

[fishtaco]

Twenty-year relationship broken because of some booty. That's why people must be very careful when choosing friends. That is not right when a close friend messes with someone you were involved with. Cat is right: He will be calling you back wanting to reconcile the friendship after your ex drops him, and that's when you reject his offer.

 

Nah, I'd say give him a chance, tell him it'll take the next 20 years to earn it back.

 

But seriously, as of now, your ex-friend is actually more important issue than the trophy. You got your use out of her, she got her use out of you, business is done, she no longer matters.

 

You simply don't know which friendship is true unless you've been through tough situations. Good times do not show you which of your friends are worthy.

 

He did at least approach you and ask you before things went down, so he does have a bit of redeeming quality. If he knew you felt the stung, he may have left her alone, I don't know. But right now, seems like he thinks you don't care, and she was just a bang. If that were the case, can you really blame him wanting a bang too. So ultimately it's your decision what you want to do with your ex-friend. If he has proven himself in the past, as in you two made it through tough situations before, then give him some credit for it. If not, then he just might be a good time only friend.

[ConflictedGuy27]

yah, your buddy's breaking bro-code rules all over:

 

rule #1455.4: never get with your buddies' ex(es).

rule #1512.2: never get with your ex(es) girl friends.

 

this episode'll likely damage your friendship; sorry, dude.

good luck.

[Distant78]

He doesn't have a redeeming quality. How the heck is he supposed to be friends with the guy when he's screwing the girl he was with? That's just mean. So what if the chick was hot to his "friend" that doesn't mean it's right for him to start accepting the whore's advances on him. He went and rubbed it in his face basically saying, "Yea, I got your hot chick on my balls now, what ya gonna do about it Friend?":lmao: That is no friend and she's just as bad as he is.

[fishtaco]

He doesn't have a redeeming quality. How the heck is he supposed to be friends with the guy when he's screwing the girl he was with? That's just mean. So what if the chick was hot to his "friend" that doesn't mean it's right for him to start accepting the whore's advances on him. He went and rubbed it in his face basically saying, "Yea, I got your hot chick on my balls now, what ya gonna do about it Friend?":lmao: That is no friend and she's just as bad as he is.

 

It's cool. We can agree to disagree. I'm not saying his friend is fine, in fact I'd say it's more likely the friendship will end. But one of my long time friends and I screwed the same chick. She wasn't worth crap, other than the bang, even then that was questionable. In fact, coincidentally she had inhumanly hyper speed mind changing power, stacked with ultra psycho-ness. Except she wasn't hot... WTF was I thinking... damn... definitely a low point of my life. Anyway she didn't matter to us, so it didn't make any difference.

 

So I guess I'm saying count in all the data points before making a decision, both good or bad. If you have proven yourself before, I believe that's worth some credit. If there's enough credit, make him earn back the friendship. That's all I'm saying.

[Distant78]

So I guess I'm saying count in all the data points before making a decision, both good or bad. If you have proven yourself before, I believe that's worth some credit. If there's enough credit, make him earn back the friendship. That's all I'm saying.

 

 

What the guy did in the past for Earthfire has nothing to do with him hurting his friend by messing with the same woman.