vtbrokenhearted Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 As I've said in earlier posts, I've been working really hard on being kind and compassionate, toward myself and my stbx. But when he originally told me he was having an affair and when he originally left, I did get very angry, yelled at the top of my lungs at him and called him names. He just up and left. He didn't give me money for bills when he said he would. For an entire week the OW called our house every day. To this I did call his work number, the only number I could contact him at, and left a couple of nasty messages. I did say in one, "Hey, a**hole, could you please tell your girlfriend to stop calling the house?" I have reacted negatively to him, and that's why I told him I didn't want anymore phone contact. Is this going to hurt me? I'm not a mean person; my emotions were so strong, I couldn't control myself. He's been telling people I've been threatening him with bodily harm. Was I being threatening? Has anyone else done this? I've figured out how to stop and haven't done it for a while, but now I'm worried it's going to hurt me. Should I stop worrying?
norm28 Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 I don't think so. Judges, lawyers, mediators have all been down this road many times. I said 2 very mean things to my wife. Once, when I found love notes on my nightstand when she knew I was coming back to the house specifically to get some paperwork out of the nightstand, I called her a skank. Then, when I found out she was bringing him around my kids after a week, I called her an unrepentant w****. But none of it stands up to the piles of evidence I have of what she's done and continues to do. People who deal professionally with divorce know how high emotions can get. Threats of violence or child alienation are bad, but name calling is expected. I wouldn't worry about that, the judge would probably look at him and say "well, you are an a******". A friend of mine was getting divorced after her husband left her for OW, and he brought up the names she called him. The judge looked at him and said "what did you expect her to say, good luck?" Seriously, nobody goes through this and doesn't do things like that. I found that my wife and her boyfriend were chatting on Facebook while she and I were texting and talking about sending people to my sisters house to "get me". Now, my wife was well aware that I had spyware on the computer, so the fact that i found is not nearly as bad as what I found. That will be a problem for her. But you didn't say anything any rational person wouldn't under those circumstances. Just my opinion, hope it helps.
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