Distant78 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 yes, but it doesn't logically follow that all men are casting doubt on the OP's rape, right? I pointed that out because their gender is *part* of why they lack empathy for her situation. So basically like you said, you're generalizing right? So because we're men we don't have any feelings right? I think that's wrong to say that about us because we have a penis. We weren't trying to knock her, we were just questioning her to get a better understanding of her situation.
northern_sky Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 (edited) Gender is party of why people lack empathy ? That is ascenine. Peoples character, personality, and life experience is what makes them lack empathy. Gender is simply one factor for *some men*. It's not enough to make someone non-empathetic. It can, however, interact with other factors including nature and nurture to create lack of empathy. Men are known to be less empathetic on average than women. That doesn't mean all men are, just enough that it shifts the average. There are decades of psychological/sociological research to back this up. Combine that with the fact that a man who is bitter against and untrusting of women will have difficulty identifying with a female rape victim. For these men their gender comes into play when they write such responses, but for most men it does not. Do you really think it's accidental that most of the posters casting doubt are male? Just so you don't miss my qualifiers above, this doesn't apply to most men, just a small, unhappy subset. This isn't about bashing the male gender, it's about trying to understand some of the less sensitive responses in this thread. Sometimes I really wish more people would take statistics, so the redundant qualifiers weren't necessary. Edited January 9, 2011 by northern_sky
dispatch3d Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 No, no, no. Assuming the OP is being honest (which I strongly believe she is) this is clear rape. There's no grey there. Really, it's very distasteful of you to take this opportunity to stand on your soap box at the expense of a young woman who was raped. yes, my post particularly addressed safety & avoiding danger when it could reasonably be avoided. I figure this is helpful simply because life goes on. OP is either going after this guy, or she isn't; but the fact remains that she will be faced with more dating and relationship circumstances in the future. maybe similar ones. I only know what OP is telling all of us. we don't necessarily know the whole story and the the guy can't rebut anything here. assuming all we heard is accurate, I agree that a rape certainly happened. please excuse the ounce of skepticism in my tone; I don't like jumping to conclusions w/o all the facts is all. back to my original point though, OP will move on and I hope that this never happens to her again, I hope that if she deserves justice she gets it, but mist importantly, I hope that whenever possible she slows her roll so she can see who she's dealing with before bad things happen. just my $.02 I'm not standing on any soap box. I merely said it looks like a grey case. From the things said in her op it sounded grey. That doesn't mean it was rape, or wasn't rape. I have no idea, and I'm just giving my 2 cents. That's why I also said I couldn't tell without talking to her, and talking to the guy about what happened. I just realize I'm only hearing from one side of the story. Oh and the way conflictedguy looks at this/his view reflects more closely mine.
Distant78 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Gender is simply one factor for *some men*. It's not enough to make someone non-empathetic. It can, however, interact with other factors including nature and nurture to create lack of empathy. Men are known to be less empathetic on average than women. That doesn't mean all men are, just enough that it shifts the average. There are decades of psychological/sociological research to back this up. Combine that with the fact that a man who is bitter against and untrusting of women will have difficulty identifying with a female rape victim. For these men their gender comes into play when they write such responses, but for most men it does not. Do you really think it's accidental that most of the posters casting doubt are male? Just so you don't miss my qualifiers above, this doesn't apply to most men, just a small, unhappy subset. This isn't about bashing the male gender, it's about trying to understand some of the less sensitive responses in this thread. Sometimes I really wish more people would take statistics, so the redundant qualifiers weren't necessary. This is by far completely off-topic and just rude and it's not helping the original poster's situation.
jenifer1972 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 To the poster who said, rape is taken very seriously by law enforcement, well, kinda, but not really.. When it gets to the courtroom, without really CONCRETE evidence, it is a 'he said, she said' situation. She will have her character torn to shreds, every sexual encounter she's ever had dissected under the microscope, the defendant will come to know EVERYTHING about her, where she lives, her friends, EVERYTHING. PLUS, everything will be made public, for all who know her to gossip about!! Then he will get off due to 'lack of evidence' and he will turn to look at her with a glaring, gloating look in her eye, and she will know her trouble has only JUST BEGUN.. Sorry, had to interject some brutal reality into the realities of getting "justice" in such cases. I have had a brutal crime done to me (not sexual), and basically this is the way it turned out. My life was turned inside out, and the cops pretty much told me there would be no justice, and indeed there was none. The US justice system is JACKED. Just be AWARE of that going in is all I'm sayin...
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