screwball Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I'm coming up on a year since my ex left me and I thought I would share a few reflections on my experience. My ex and I met at a dinner party and fell in love hard and fast. We were living together after knowing each other for only 4 days and we were together for 2 years, talking about marriage and children right before the end of our relationship. Prior to her, I hadn't loved anyone or had any sort of long term relationship. I was devastated after the first breakup...and the second, and the third! We ended up going through a vicious cycle of breaking up, trying to be friends, friendship turning back into a relationship to breaking up again over the course of a couple months. We both decided to cut contact and that was the lowest point in my life. I was depressed, never felt like eating or going out. Work was my only salvation and weekends were spent in a half stupor watching DVDs to kill the time. I finally turned from DVDs to books and read up on relationships and spirituality. I learned that we could never get back to the place we were...I finally accepted that the relationship was over. I stopped moping around, re-organized the house, and got rid of anything that reminded me of her (except for pictures which I hid from myself). I started planning what I wanted my future to be. I am now at the point where I can say that I do still love my ex. Not in a pining sort of way, but in the sense that she played a significant role in my life and I hope she will always be happy and healthy. I look back on our relationship as an amazing two years and I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to experience them. She was the right person at the right time in my life and helped me grow as a person. And it's a good thing she left me. Because of the breakup, through self reflection, I've learned how to have a happier and healthier long term relationship. She and I did break NC a couple months ago to go out for coffee and ice cream. It was pleasant and nice to see that she is doing well.
GreenPolicy Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Thanks for sharing this. I am at Day 83 since the breakup, Day 67 of NC. I am in a deep world of hurt still even though I am coming up on almost 3 months. Your post is proof that eventually this darkness lifts.
BlindRage Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 (edited) Well I was hanging onto my ex for about 6-7 months after our break up. I was nearly at a point when I just felt unworthy and dead. You want to know what helped me? Stop finding her attractive. hahha. Weird, I know. But I used to be so attracted to her. Well, now I find girls that don't look like her but more like Odette Yustman attractive specially; Colombian latinas. I'm no longer into normal caucasian girls. It has worked, I'm really into black/brown hair and black/brown eyes now. Edited January 7, 2011 by BlindRage
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