focus2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Hey everyone. I'm new to LS but have been a visitor and found it very helpful. I have a confusing situation and wanted to see what you guys think. A couple of years ago I fell really hard for a man that I met through work. The relationship didn't last but a few months, but it left a very big impression on me. He ended it. I didn't fight his decision because he was going back to a long term girlfriend so I didn't see the point. Of course he did the "lets be friends" thing, which basically turned into tolerating each other when we had to be around each other. We wouldn't look at or speak to each other unless other people were around. Since that time, he's left that relationship, been in another relationship, and returned to the girlfriend. I've dated a couple guys casually, but nothing seriously. So fast forward to about three months ago. We still have to be around each other for work and about three months ago, his behavior toward me changed. He started to initiate conversations with me. He visits me in my office. He joins conversations that I'm a part of. He makes a point to say something to me everyday. I guess my question is why the change in behavior? I've gotten use to this awkward arrangement we have and am totally confused by his efforts to be my friend now. My feelings for this man never went away, I just buried them deep in my heart. This change in behavior has me confused and all the feelings I've worked so hard to bury are surfacing. Any insights would be helpful. Thanks!
GreenPolicy Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 He's over it and probably thinks you are as well. Establish some boundaries if you're not comfortable.
Author focus2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 Thanks GreenPolicy for the response. It makes sense. I guess the sudden change is what had me most confused. Its my choice how to respond to the new gesture of friendship and I need to consider how this change affects me.
donovant91 Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 Realize everything happens for a reason, perhaps this is a time to truly put your feelings for him to rest, rather then being buried deep inside. Realize that hes been back and fourth with that girlfriend for quite some time which means he isnt exactly comfortable with who he is, if he was they would be going strong. Confront what your feeling and ask yourself why are you feeling this way? Don't rush into answers and just let it unravel infront of you. If you do this it would only help improve yourself and your own confidence, leading you to a happier relationship in the future.
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