SomewhatExperienced Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 As a guy, it seems to be my job to ask girls out. They simply aren't going to do the asking, this is a societal role, that's fine. But it's not uncommon for me to ask out a nice looking, friendly girl to find out she has a boyfriend, which is also fine.But I'm wondering, if I'm asking these girls out, then I'm not the only one who thought these girls were worth asking out. How often do you girls get asked out and in what context? How do you deal with shooting guys down when it's a common occurrence? Obviously, if you're a club rat you're going to get asked out there more often, but I'm particularly interested in day to day life. Just curious...
Mad Max Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I don't care what any female says. It's not my job to ask out and since I do get asked out, they're only shooting themselves in the foot by not making a move. As for how often I get asked out, it depends on the setting.
pookster72 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 i think it realllly depends on where a girl spends her time. right now i pretty much just go to work and then go home, with a few outings with my boyfriend here and there, so of course i almost never get asked out. when i didn't have a serious job and went out 3-5 times a week with my girl friends, i'd get asked out all the time.
catgotyourtongue Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 OP How often, well enough to feel grateful that people are asking, really. I don't want to put a number to it, nor set up a scenario for a threadjack, so often enough that I feel fortunate to have options. That being said, I still don't get asked out nearly half as much as I did in my 20's or 30's. IN WHAT CONTEXT: I get asked out online (if I am online dating, I am not now). I get asked out at bars (yes god forbid, lol) I have been asked out after meeting someone at meditation class I got asked out after meeting someone at a 40th birthday party I got asked out after meeting someone at a dinner party (those are over the course of a year or two, not all back to back) AFTER being HORRIBLE at letting guys know I was not interested, I handle it differently now. It still sucks to me, to have to say no, I hate doing it, but it's better than lying. At my age, I have learned being straightforward is best. I say "I appreciate you asking, but I am not really in a position to date, or "I am not sure I feel a dating connection here but thanks for asking". I know it sounds hoky, but it's better than being mean, which I never do when someone puts themselves out there to me, regardless. If the guy is a real a** and is agressive and in my face, and wont take no for an answer, as many have been, my answers are different, lol. Hope that answered your questions a little.
january2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 (edited) Not a lot. Like catgotyourtongue and pookster72, I think age and opportunity are a factor. I don't socialise as much as I used to, nor do I frequent places where there is a higher probability of being asked out, e.g., clubs and bars or even parties with lots of single people. I get signs of interest and flirting from randoms and acquaintances, even some stalkerish behaviour from acquaintances, but nearly all the guys I meet now never take the next step. Online dating was a bit of a non-starter. Lots of email conversations and pussyfooting around but no shoot-from-the-hip stuff. I think that I'm also very picky and can come across as too focused on other things. For example, at the moment, I'm not actively looking. Guys probably sense this vibe and back off. Edited January 7, 2011 by january2011
Confusedalways Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Pretty infrequently, especially compared to some other posters on LS. In day to day life, I've never been really approached by a random stranger. Everyone who has asked me out I've had a connection to [ie: work, through friends at a party, etc]. Though I am only 22 so I imagine the "random meetings" would have to increase with age- but I could be very wrong with that.
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