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guys & girls: checking out other people when youre with your bf/gf..

exquisite

By exquisite
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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exquisite Member

exquisite

Posted
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how do you guys feel about it when your partner is anywhere with you & all you see is their head constantly turning while looking at some girl, or some guy?

 

do you think it's ok to look at other people when you're with your bf/gf?

imagine Established Member

imagine

Posted
Posted

Respect your partner.

 

Discuss with them (privately) what they think of an aspect of the person you saw. I think that gawking at someone else is belittles them especially if you are part of a group.

 

Build them up!

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exquisite Member

exquisite

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Respect your partner.

 

Discuss with them (privately) what they think of an aspect of the person you saw. I think that gawking at someone else is belittles them especially if you are part of a group.

 

Build them up!

 

ive tried that. all my bf does is get mad at me for even bringing it up. he tells me its meaningless & i should just "ignore it". & its not like i go psycho & bitch him out. i calmly tell him about it. but all it does is turn into a huge argument/fight & goes nowhere, where he will ultimately make me out to be the horrible person for even thinking such things.

imagine Established Member

imagine

Posted
Posted

Exquisite, there are no consequences to his behaviour. None.

 

Your relationship has no meaning either. He has declared that he will not respect you. Anyone needs to have boundaries, where is yours?

 

My dear, find a gentleman!

Thedayilove7-12 New Member

Thedayilove7-12

Posted
Posted
how do you guys feel about it when your partner is anywhere with you & all you see is their head constantly turning while looking at some girl, or some guy?

 

do you think it's ok to look at other people when you're with your bf/gf?

 

im a teen boy, and my opinion Well, i mean, when you are with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you should have the respect at least to know "okay im with my gf/bf im should be focused on him/her" and give attention to them, im not sayin all of it but don't turn and look at other boys/girls, while with them. but when your NOT with them thats okay to look (NOT TOUCH) at someone else. just not while your with them, that's like a major slap to the face.

Lovegood Member

Lovegood

Posted
Posted

I think it depends a lot on how they're checking someone out. Honestly, I think it is natural to be attracted/look at/appreciate other people regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not.

 

However, it isn't acceptable for your partner to be obvious or rude about this, especially when they're around you.

Pleco Established Member

Pleco

Posted
Posted

We both check out other people in public whether we are around each other or not. It's mostly girls, but if I see a hot guy I will point him out. We are very close, and we like pointing out attractive people (usually it's to see if the other person finds them attractive too). I don't see what the big deal is, but as always YMMV.

 

Now, if it's done in a very disrespectful way, then it would be annoying. My fiance doesn't catcall at women as they walk by, or make rude comments all the time. But if a very attractive woman walks by, I expect him to look. Hell, I'm looking too!

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exquisite Member

exquisite

Posted
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the funny thing is, i know he's actually checking people out. why? because hell will freeze over before he turns his head to look at a chubby, "unattractive" girl. i know exactly what type he goes for. petite, make-up, hell, even taller than him. just as long as she's "attractive". i say that with quotes because beauty is in the eye of the beholder....and i know what his eye beholds.

a chubby girl can walk by, no way in hell will he turn to look. but a petite waitress? or some 'cute' girls walking around in a mall? will always look, will turn his friggin head just to look, will watch them walk away.

im the kind of girl who can appreciate when an attractive girl walks by. im secure enough to admit it. but the more it continues, the more insecure it makes me. its just a complete lack of respect towards me.

Analeigh Member

Analeigh

Posted
Posted

I don't mind if he looks. As long as he keeps it under 10 seconds or so of looking, and hopefully not too obvious. If he blatantly stared a woman down, though, I would probably make a teasing remark to let him know I saw it. My current BF and I were still very much in the honeymoon phase, though, and he rarely takes his eyes off me. If anything, I have drawn his attention to other people. I trust him completely, though and even if he looked I highly doubt he'd ever act on it.

dont-be-naive Established Member

dont-be-naive

Posted
Posted
how do you guys feel about it when your partner is anywhere with you & all you see is their head constantly turning while looking at some girl, or some guy?

 

do you think it's ok to look at other people when you're with your bf/gf?

 

everyone is going to notice other people. nothing wrong with appreciating someone elses attractiveness.

 

But at least have some friggin' respect not to do it when with your SO.

 

If I am dating someone that does this, it really clues me into the type of person she is. If she is constantly looking at other guys, the relationship won't last much longer.

Titania22 Established Member

Titania22

Posted
Posted

Actually I don't mind this at all. If I saw an attractive woman, I would give him a tap to draw his attention to it, so he didn't miss out. Most men seem to appreciate that kind of thoughtfulness.

jnj express Established Member

jnj express

Posted
Posted

Hey exquisite-----Are you scared to stand up for yourself----Your so-called BF is disrespecting you---you know it, and he knows it---he knows it cuz he protests way to much---therefore he knows its wrong

 

If he can't respect you when the 2 of you are together, then you need to tell him to take a hike

 

Do not get in an argument with him---just state your case and walk away----Do not argue back, be icy calm, and if necessary mean.----You have to let him know once and for all you are not gonna put up with his actions, attitude, and treatment of you--

 

---why would you allow this to continue on--do you enjoy arguing, do you enjoy being disrespected---life is spose to be enjoyable, carefree, happy with some peace of mind---is that what you have---it doesn't sound like it----what seems to happening is that your BF is controlling, and playing you like a fiddle---and you are allowing it to happen

 

Remember you only get one try at life on this planet---the idea is to make it a happy life---not one filled with unhappiness, and doubt----wake up!!!

ccfan Established Member

ccfan

Posted
Posted (edited)

Exquisite. Yes, that´s disrespecful and plain wrong.... and a huge red flag for the future of your relationship. Do not allow this and also take notice that he´s tricking your mind into making you feel guilty just for bringing that up.

 

Take it from me as my last GF started by pointing out how "hot" was George Clooney or any other actor, it seemed harmless at the time .. but that behaviour grew and grew and eventually going to the mall with her (and if she was with her girlfriends was way worse) was to watch her disrespect me by watching her checking out other guys... it hurts a lot and frankly speaking it denotes poor intelligence and lack of comon sense on the other person....

 

Either you make this situation right or leave him for good ... believe me this is only the tip of the iceberg. If I saw an attractive girl while going out with my ex, I keept it to myself and I expected that same treatment in return..... no wonder shes my ex now.. :(

Edited by ccfan
ccfan Established Member

ccfan

Posted
Posted
Hey exquisite-----Are you scared to stand up for yourself----Your so-called BF is disrespecting you---you know it, and he knows it---he knows it cuz he protests way to much---therefore he knows its wrong

 

If he can't respect you when the 2 of you are together, then you need to tell him to take a hike

 

Do not get in an argument with him---just state your case and walk away----Do not argue back, be icy calm, and if necessary mean.----You have to let him know once and for all you are not gonna put up with his actions, attitude, and treatment of you--

 

---why would you allow this to continue on--do you enjoy arguing, do you enjoy being disrespected---life is spose to be enjoyable, carefree, happy with some peace of mind---is that what you have---it doesn't sound like it----what seems to happening is that your BF is controlling, and playing you like a fiddle---and you are allowing it to happen

 

Remember you only get one try at life on this planet---the idea is to make it a happy life---not one filled with unhappiness, and doubt----wake up!!!

 

 

This is spot on... great advice

  • 2 weeks later...
kit89 New Member

kit89

Posted
Posted

I personally think 'checking someone out' isn't cheating. It's human nature. Love the one you're with, and give it everything you can. But you can't really help it if you find someone attractive, can you? As long as you don't flirt/cheat then no harm I say.

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