Jen1981 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Ignore or talk to my ex? My ex has handled our break-up quite badly and I want to let him know how disappointed I am. We were together 10 years, he broke up in an e-mail, asked for space and then disappeared for 2 months without any real explanation apart from that "he had to find himself". *He threw me some breadcrumbs on my birthday (a gift and a "I miss u" text). I replied and of course was ignored again (stupid stupid me).* Now he's contacted me again asking me for a "favor"! He wants to link to his new website on one that we own together and he also wants to shut ours down. I have no legal claims on this since he owns the domain but I do want to let him now how I feel about EVERYTHING! The site was started together (I actually got the idea for it) and we built it up together during the past 3 years. Now he's offered me to meet him online (he still can't face me) for a talk but I feel like he only does this to ease his guilt! i've been diagnoses with post-traumatic depression and had to take leave from work for 2 months!* I really want to tell him how I feel (disappointed, used, hurt, confused, angry) but I also still want to keep my dignity. I actually feel it would be good for me to let out all this pent up rage towards him but is it just a temporary fix? Would I be better off in saying he can do what he wants since it's his domain and just resume NC? I really thought we'd be friends once we've healed but this last mail makes me wonder if I could ever be friends with this person that he's turned into! I'm still deep in depression and can't imagine any light in the future. Could releasing my anger help me in any way? I really don't know how to go about this? I was thinking of asking him how HE would feel if he was in my shoes (relationship and the website)? Do I agree to meet him online?*
bl22 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Ignore or talk to my ex? *He threw me some breadcrumbs on my birthday (a gift and a "I miss u" text). I replied and of course was ignored again (stupid stupid me).* I think this answers your question. Anything you do will only make you feel worse. Go strict NC, it needs to feel like you're dead to him as bad as that sounds. Almost like theyve gone and killed you, for your sake...and its the only chance you have of him missing you. I was/am in your situation with my ex, we had MANY projects planned together, many in progress and when she left me for someone else I was stuck. I couldnt finish them without her and had to rethink everything I'd done. It was hell and she even fed me breadcrumbs saying 'ill stil be here for you if you need help with your projects'....hmm nah...dont think so to be honest ha. ITs all or nothing, hes lost all rights he has to you. Dont contact him is my advice, he wants a favour...**** that, he deserves NOTHING.
Author Jen1981 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 I was/am in your situation with my ex, we had MANY projects planned together, many in progress and when she left me for someone else I was stuck. I couldnt finish them without her and had to rethink everything I'd done. It was hell and she even fed me breadcrumbs saying 'ill stil be here for you if you need help with your projects'....hmm nah...dont think so to be honest ha. ITs all or nothing, hes lost all rights he has to you. Dont contact him is my advice, he wants a favour...**** that, he deserves NOTHING. Yeah I know....he's probably only seeking validation and acceptance to his actions! I've written a dozen angry letters during this past months but I've refrained from sending them because I don't want him to have the power (don't know how else to explain). He states that he's hurting too and that he has a hard time coping and I do feel some sense of sympathy but this has just broken me again! I thought this anger could give me some kind of closure but today I feel like my heart's been broken all over again!
Rose T Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I'd definitely stick with the no contact. I saw your other thread where you described how he wanted to shut down your site and link to his new one - horrible behaviour! I know it's his domain and you don't have much choice, but you don't have to make it easy for him or give him your blessing. NC achieves that and keeps your dignity intact. Stick to it if you can.
Author Jen1981 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 I'd definitely stick with the no contact. I saw your other thread where you described how he wanted to shut down your site and link to his new one - horrible behaviour! I know it's his domain and you don't have much choice, but you don't have to make it easy for him or give him your blessing. NC achieves that and keeps your dignity intact. Stick to it if you can. I will try! I can't even believe he's asking this before we've even had the relationship-talk yet! It's beyond me! I feel like he's stealing my identity, all our work and all of our friends (many of them are related to the work we do on the site)! I'm afraid of the future and I highly doubt I could ever trust another human being!
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