mmiller5373 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Has anyone ever had a dumper apologize for their behavior after quite some time? Ever had a chance to talk things over years later? Any apologies? Realizations that they made a huge mistake? Even after a really bad breakup, I'm curious to here some stories where a dumper contacted you after a long time to apologize or explain their side of the story.
Eeyore79 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I had an ex contact me several years later wanting to reconcile. He never explained why he dumped me in the first place, though I believe he was cheating. He had apparently come to his senses and realised I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he had loved and missed me every single day, blah blah. This supposedly had nothing to do with the fact that a few days previously he had found his fiancee in bed with a teenager and subsequently broke up with her Obviously I told him to get lost. Another ex who was extremely bad tempered and violent bumped into my mom in town one day, and he actually apologised to her for his treatment of me about ten years previously when we were teenagers. There was no ulterior motive, I never saw him, so I guess he really was sorry. Another ex contacted me about six months after we broke up, to say he hated himself for how he'd treated me, and he was really sorry, and I deserved happiness. He made no attempt to stay in touch after that; there was no suggestion of reconciliation and I never heard from him again, so maybe he was genuinely sorry too.
WiseOne1 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Yes, I had a ex apolgized to me, it was about a 2 years after the breakup. She said it was a mistake, she said the new guy wasn't worth it, and than bassically he had ****ed her over, REALLY BAD. She asked if I would take her back if she wanted to get back together, but I told her, that I probably would just dog her out, I wouldn't be able to forgive her for what she did, and I wouldn't be that faith full good guy that she had grown to love.
aerogurl87 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 My ex contacted me about a year and a half after he left me for someone. He finally gave me a sincere apology that I'd been waiting to hear for awhile. Before that I'd gotten the whole "I dreamed of you last night" or "I miss you" message from him, but then I finally got the apology I wanted and am happy with.
bl22 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I had an ex apologise about a year after cheating on me with a stranger. Luckily she was nothing compared to my recent ex so I got over it quite fast. She ended up coming to my house unexpectedly in tears of how she cant believe how she treated me. Was awkward and didnt go well, I didnt want anything to do with her. Another ex recently tried to get in touch with me, being all flirty and hinting at a meetup...not interested...again she was nothing compared to my recent ex. When/If my recent ex apologises and admits her mistakes, ill post on here. Im pretty certain she will...she had a big heart and we had a great relationship, Im just sure it will happen when I least expect it...thats generally how it goes.
GreenPolicy Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 The correct answer is that you want to get to a point where you are completely indifferent to your ex, so you feel like who cares if they contact you?
bl22 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 The correct answer is that you want to get to a point where you are completely indifferent to your ex, so you feel like who cares if they contact you? thats generally when it happens also. So if your stil hoping for it, it probably wont happen 1
Author mmiller5373 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 thats generally when it happens also. So if your stil hoping for it, it probably wont happen I'm only 24. Don't have much experience when it comes to "serious" relationships. I've dated a lot of girls, but my recent ex was honestly the only one I felt like continuing LTR with. Never thought things would end as badly as they did. A lot of my older friends in their 30's tell me that they only come back when you've completely moved. It's like they know, even though you're NC and there's no way for them to really know what's going on in your life. That's usually when an apology or realization comes. Sadly, like I said, that's when I'll have moved on and become indifferent towards her. I won't care much about her or what's going on in her life. Only the new girl in my life will matter to me. Honestly, I'm kind of looking forward to that moment. It'll be a few years down the road... my career will be taking off, I'll be in awesome shape, have a nice place, a new car... and I can rub it all in her face. haha. "Sorry, babe, that ship has sailed."
Leandro Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 A lot of my older friends in their 30's tell me that they only come back when you've completely moved. It's like they know, even though you're NC and there's no way for them to really know what's going on in your life. That's usually when an apology or realization comes. Sadly, like I said, that's when I'll have moved on and become indifferent towards her. I won't care much about her or what's going on in her life. Only the new girl in my life will matter to me. Honestly, I'm kind of looking forward to that moment. It'll be a few years down the road... my career will be taking off, I'll be in awesome shape, have a nice place, a new car... and I can rub it all in her face. haha. "Sorry, babe, that ship has sailed." I know this is how it's going to be for me. Well, that's if she contacts me.
0hpenelope Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 A lot of my older friends in their 30's tell me that they only come back when you've completely moved. It's like they know, even though you're NC and there's no way for them to really know what's going on in your life. That's usually when an apology or realization comes. You, sir, have very wise friends. It's true. I told my recent ex I don't want anything to do with him unless it's about a reconciliation, but I won't wait for him and I'm going to move on, while telling him I'm happy and excited for all the things he wants to do for himself. NC, NC, NC.
Author mmiller5373 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 At some point I probably won't care anymore, but I just wonder if I'll ever get an apology from my ex. She broke up with me and blamed me for everything, even though the true reason was because she was seeing another guy. Don't know if she was cheating, but she was definitely lying. However, I didn't handle things well and pretty much harrassed her for weeks... causing her to change her number. Because of that, I probably won't get an apology from her.
2010_Sorry Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Yes. My first husband and I were married right out of college due to an unexplained pregnancy. The reality of fatherhood was too much for him and he basically ran away from our son and I. I filed for divorce and began dating again about 4 months after our divorce was final. A few months ago (which is about 10 years after the divorce), he called to talk to me about "us". He apologized for his behavior and basically said that walking away from us was the worst thing he could have ever done. The apology was never anything that I needed or even wanted from him. But hearing it was nice, and it has allowed us to become good friends... which is important since have a child.
Author mmiller5373 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 Yes. My first husband and I were married right out of college due to an unexplained pregnancy. The reality of fatherhood was too much for him and he basically ran away from our son and I. I filed for divorce and began dating again about 4 months after our divorce was final. A few months ago (which is about 10 years after the divorce), he called to talk to me about "us". He apologized for his behavior and basically said that walking away from us was the worst thing he could have ever done. The apology was never anything that I needed or even wanted from him. But hearing it was nice, and it has allowed us to become good friends... which is important since have a child. That's good to hear. It's nice to know that some people do learn from their mistakes.
Sevenscars Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I was in a serious relationship with this girl for a year when she cheated, then broke up with me for the other guy, while continuing to lead me on. Then she missed me, I took her back and she cheated again, we decided to be "friends" but she never cared to respond to my messages or calls or even contact me until months down the road. I ignored her, and she kept trying to contact me. It went from every week to every month to every few months and I ignored it all. 2 years later, a few days ago actually, she contacts me with some selfish bull**** message about how she's growing and changing as a person and said all this stuff that what I got out of it was that she wasn't sorry about what she did. So I told her off. She then sent me a string of messages about how she truly regrets leaving me, about how she'd never been outside of a relationship since we split because she had been searching for something like we had, and how she misses me and wishes me the best. I ignored it.
D78 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 My first LTR guy, we'll call him Kermit, cheated on me. I'm not one to deal with that, but at the time I was young and not so good at saying goodbye. I broke up with him but we still lived together until he joined the military. I visited him once during basic training, met all of his new friends, and never talked to him again. He sent me tons of letters I didn't read. I just kept them in a box. Fast forward years... Kermit called me, and my ex (my boyfriend at the time) answered the phone. Kermit said, "hey this is Kermit, please tell her I called" and left a number to reach him. I told my ex I didn't need the number. I never thought about him again until I began writing about relationships on LS (at least 9 years after the phone call I never returned). I'm not sure if he was going to apologize, and I couldn't care less It was kinda sweet that my ex answered the phone, though.
2010_Sorry Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Ha... I just realized I wrote that my pregnancy was unexplained... actually meant unplanned!
coltsfan1 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 you have a miraculous conception 2010? I have only heard of that happening once.
cerridwen Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 I received an apology and invitation to get back into a relationship after years had passed. I dated him for over two years. It's humiliating to think what I put up with. One time, I wrote him a heartfelt letter about how I was feeling. I was upset about our relationship. He posted it on the wall of the apartment we shared, to mock me with it. He actually pointed to it and laughed. This was the type of person he was near the end. I eventually left and went complete NC. He tried to contact me after 6 months. I moved out of state. He called me out of the blue 3 years later to apologize, to say he realizes what a complete jerk he was, to say it was the biggest regret of his life, to say he'd always love me and couldn't get me out of his head. I told him to kick rocks. He called me a few months later wanting to talk because his mother suddenly died. I smelled manipulation. I left a message that it'd be wiser for him to get support from someone else. Never heard from him again.
Recommended Posts