d.stevens Posted March 19, 2004 Posted March 19, 2004 A few months ago I met a great girl. We share an interest that allows us to spend a lot of time together, including some volenteering together. We've become great friends too. She clearly knows I find her attractive. She's 22 I'm 30. She's been having problems with her boyfriend of 5 years. She's recently opened a door by asking me if I'd help her this summer with a kids camp she puts on. Her boyfriend has no interest in these activites of hers and I think its a wedge between them. She tells me she can't do all of it by herself and asked for my help. Should I stick it through and help her this summer??? If this goes nowhere... it would be the ultimate torture mentally for me. On the other hand I enjoy the time we spend together. Were spending up to 5 days a week together now. 3 of which are at her parents place. Her boyfriend sees her perhaps twice a week at most because of her busy schedule. She told me, she has her own goals and doesn't much care whether his match hers or not. Do you also find younger couples relationships usually have a 5 year span? Is this window about to open? I've made friends with many terrific girls over time. I've also seen a pattern amoung many of them. I've counted 12 couples I know of...that seem to have lasted around the 5 year mark. Especiallly the younger ones. (ages between 20 and 30) Would any of you agree? Most people around that age seem to grow apart as they shape their goals and ideas, yes? For those thinking this is a recipe for possible cheating....... Like I said, right now were only friends. I don't see her as the cheating type. If this possibility ever came about I'd certainly pass as I'd loose all respect for her. I'd walk away as I'm not made that way, nor do I think is she. Her situation would have to be clear before anything further would take place. What should I do? I'm sure this is hard for everyone involved. Should I distance myself or build on our friendship?
longlegzs80 Posted March 19, 2004 Posted March 19, 2004 Personally, I think you should help her out with the camp thing and keep hanging out with her. She needs someone like yourself that she can come to about problems and just someone she can hang out with. Its obvious that her boyfriend is a losser but you have to realize that until that relationship is fully done with, then there should be no dating between the both of you. Just do the friendship thing and be around her by keep doing what your doing and who cares about the age difference. Too, it seems like she might want a way out of her current relationship, but who knows. Just be there for her and keep doing all the activities that you both like doing. Not sure if this has helped and sorry about not answering any of your questions.
Samson Posted March 19, 2004 Posted March 19, 2004 Hey, stick it through and help her this summer for the kids. I know, radical concept; volunteering to help others and not meet a piece of tail, but try it! "If this goes nowhere... it would be the ultimate torture mentally for me." So, the torture you'll have for not persuing this will last how long??
Cpunch75 Posted March 19, 2004 Posted March 19, 2004 If you respect her and her bf, keep it on a friendship level. Show her you can maintain and curb your attraction, while maintaining the focus on volunteering together, she may appreciate your qualities in time. "Should I stick it through and help her this summer??? If this goes nowhere... it would be the ultimate torture mentally for me. On the other hand I enjoy the time we spend together" you've already developed feelings for her, if you know youre gonna be mentally tortured......why go ahead with this? is there an alternative plan? why set yourself up for pain?
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