romanticandbroken Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 We have been dating for 3 months. She is turned off because she thinks I am reluctantly paying everything and everywhere. I am uncomfortable because of her expecting me to pay everything. She needs space and time and going on a date this Saturday. I know my lesson--no contact, give her all space and time. She even told me she wants to explore a bit. Any more to be said? Experience? Nothing has happened, we communicate great, sex is great, just she does not feel appreciated for whatever reason.
Andy_K Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Tell her you're thinking about dating a whore next time, as you'll still be doing the paying, but at least she'll be up front about it and you'll know where you stand. This isn't particularly likely to meet a good reception, but a girl with an entitlement complex is a girl with an entitlement complex. You can't fix it, but if you hold up the mirror to her and she gets a shock, she might perhaps take a look at herself and make some changes.
samspade Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 In womanese, "I need space/time" = "My interest in you has hit a critical low point." Three months is a typical threshold - when the initial attraction starts receding and your behavior starts to speak for itself. You shouldn't be paying for everything - I hope your dates weren't expensive or extravagant. When a woman wants to be with you, splitting a popsicle in the park is as good as a night at the opera. And after the first one or two dates if she is truly interested she will offer to pay for something. Back off, date more women, she may come back....hopefully you can apply what you've learned.
Author romanticandbroken Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 In womanese, "I need space/time" = "My interest in you has hit a critical low point." Three months is a typical threshold - when the initial attraction starts receding and your behavior starts to speak for itself. You shouldn't be paying for everything - I hope your dates weren't expensive or extravagant. When a woman wants to be with you, splitting a popsicle in the park is as good as a night at the opera. And after the first one or two dates if she is truly interested she will offer to pay for something. Back off, date more women, she may come back....hopefully you can apply what you've learned. Sure. She believes in the initial period a man has to take care of everything. I am afraid to open my credit card statement. She is used to men spending on her big time. Not my thing. I did not know about the 3 months period. Thank you.
denise_xo Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Back off, date more women, she may be glad if she doesn't come back....hopefully you can apply what you've learned. I edited samspade's post for you. I really think you're better off without her. I am shocked that she expects you to pay for everything after three months. Good luck moving on
Author romanticandbroken Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 I edited samspade's post for you. I really think you're better off without her. I am shocked that she expects you to pay for everything after three months. Good luck moving on I have not been on the serious dating scene for a while, so I am in a way a newbie. We go for an expensive weekend vacation. I take care of everything. We go shopping, I buy something for me, and after a week she is upset I did not offer to buy when she looked at some dress. She could not figure out if I was cheap or short of money. I support 3 kids. Friends, is this normal, or I am not in this world.
denise_xo Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I have not been on the serious dating scene for a while, so I am in a way a newbie. We go for an expensive weekend vacation. I take care of everything. We go shopping, I buy something for me, and after a week she is upset I did not offer to buy when she looked at some dress. She could not figure out if I was cheap or short of money. I support 3 kids. Friends, is this normal, or I am not in this world. That is SO NOT NORMAL by any standards. My friend, you need to dump this woman and never look back. Seriously. That's totally outrageous.
zengirl Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 We have been dating for 3 months. She is turned off because she thinks I am reluctantly paying everything and everywhere. I am uncomfortable because of her expecting me to pay everything. She needs space and time and going on a date this Saturday. I know my lesson--no contact, give her all space and time. She even told me she wants to explore a bit. Any more to be said? Experience? Nothing has happened, we communicate great, sex is great, just she does not feel appreciated for whatever reason. I have not been on the serious dating scene for a while, so I am in a way a newbie. We go for an expensive weekend vacation. I take care of everything. We go shopping, I buy something for me, and after a week she is upset I did not offer to buy when she looked at some dress. She could not figure out if I was cheap or short of money. I support 3 kids. Friends, is this normal, or I am not in this world. Not normal. Sounds like she's trying to manipulate you into spending more money, and you definitely don't sound "cheap." She seems to want a human ATM.
paleblue Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 She is turned off because she thinks I am reluctantly paying everything and everywhere. I would be reluctant if that's how someone made me feel. Loosing the companionship sucks, but it sounds like she's doing you a bigger favor and you don't even know it, No this is not normal behavior. This is extremely disturbing actually.
Lucky555 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 We have been dating for 3 months. She is turned off because she thinks I am reluctantly paying everything and everywhere. I am uncomfortable because of her expecting me to pay everything. She needs space and time and going on a date this Saturday. I know my lesson--no contact, give her all space and time. She even told me she wants to explore a bit. Any more to be said? Experience? Nothing has happened, we communicate great, sex is great, just she does not feel appreciated for whatever reason. She is soo using you. Seriously dump this chick. She is using tricks to get you to think you are being a dirt bag for not paying. She thinks you are soo into her that all she has to do is make you think she is on the verge of dumping you to get what she wants. In reality she is going to dump you once you stop paying. So if you don't mind paying for whatever she gives then keep paying. However, maybe you should consider finding someone who is a bit more genuine. Although if you have already said that this is an arrangement for sex then its probably why she is doing it because shes not expecting it to go anywhere. I guess it depends on if your trying to get serious or your looking to have fun.
Author romanticandbroken Posted January 8, 2011 Author Posted January 8, 2011 She is soo using you. Seriously dump this chick. I removed her for number so I cannot even call her. I do not remember the number anyhow. Good for me :-)
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