ashleysun Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I have only posted a few times here on LS but I feel the advice I receive through here is valuble and I appreciate all insight. To start out, I was in a 3 year relationship that ended last year. It took alot for me to move on (and in a way I still am in the process) but I was able to find a guy I was semi-interested in after numerous dates. I met this guy and found out we lived a few hours apart from one another. Initially I wasn't interested, he was attractive, but I wasn't over my ex at the time. We ended contact after awhile due to this, which all the contact was, was texting and phone calls. The new guy ended up reaching out after a few weeks to a month and we reconnected. I saw him a few weeks later and we really hit it off, following that we would text non stop and talk on the phone almost every day. I went there a few more times and he drove to my city a few times. He made clear interest he wanted to be in an exclusive relationship and I was ready, but my attitude was that I wanted to confirm it when we were physically together and not on the phone. The last time I saw him was 4 weeks ago. About 3 weeks ago, contact dropped to an all time low. I was very confused about it and couldn't figure out what had happened, we had a great weekend and everything seemed perfect between us. Last week I thought that I had enough and told him that with how he has been acting lately maybe it's best that we just don't pursue anything, he apologized and said he'd been really busy with the holidays and work and didn't want to say goodbye to me and he missed me. He had intended to spend new years with me but that didn't work out, he stated he had to work the following day. On new years eve he apparently got a DWI - I was disappointed to hear it but definitely told him I was there for him and asked him if I could do anything for him. He was very down and disappointed in himself and told me he missed me. I thought that perhaps he would want to talk more but contact dropped even more and finally I told him yesterday I don't understand what's going on. He said that the way he was feeling and acting lately isn't fair to me - so I took that as it's probably over. I haven't heard from him today, not really expecting to, but I'm sad over the situation. I'm wondering if anybody has advice on IF I should try to keep contact? Has anybody been through this before, on either end? Maybe it's just hopeless....
pookster72 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 did you make it clear to him that you were interested in a relationship but just wanted to talk about it in person? because he may have just felt rejected if you skirted around the subject of exclusivity, causing him to contact you less. i got a dwi a few years ago, and afterward i definitely felt like ****. it made me rethink a lot of what i was doing in life and all that stuff...i certainly wasn't in the mood to go on dates or bring my burden of not having a license (only for 30 days but still) onto the plate to some person i'd just met. plus he may have missed work because of it, making him feel even worse about life. i could see why that could cause him to back off. on the other hand, i also feel like if he was really interested he would have talked to you anyway. he was out drinking on new years eve, so obviously working the next day was not that big of a priority to him. he could have hung out with you or at least remained in contact. and he could have kept pursuing you even after being slightly rejected. i feel like if he was that interested then he would have kept talking to you. all the guys i've ever dated seriously have been persistent in the beginning.
creighton0123 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Move on. When you meet someone where both of you are perfect for each other, there shouldn't be this awkward back and forth.
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