alexg1 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 First post... Clearly, I am here because I am worried that my girlfriend, who I love, is going to make this break a break-up. In a nutshell, dated for 5 months, took her virginity (21), got into a bad fight regarding sex, went on a 2 week break, then ended up working together at a winter camp for two weeks where we both reunited and loved each other again (slept over, had sex, etc.). All the sudden after being reunited and rekindling things, she wants another break. A 2 month break with zero contact! She says she is taking advantage of me. Says I am acting like the guy who will always be there, asking where my confidence is; pretty much, I'm invading her space. Thing is, she was content with us dating other people until I talked her out of it... I think. Anyway, how should I handle a 2 month break? One month is one thing, but 2 months seems more like a prelude to a break-up. She says she needs time to consider if she wants to be single or if she will miss me. I'm so confused. I just want to be with her. How should I handle this? What do you think is going to happen when we meet up again after 2 months? Feel free to ask for more detail. Thanks!
Lemontang Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I say give her the 2 months space, but really it's just a long painful breakup sorry dude. Still do the 2 month things and see if 'she' actually doesn't contact you instead during this time. She may respect you all the more for it by you not contacting her and more importantly you'll keep your own self respect as well. Then in 2 months time come back to this thread and see how much has changed. But seriously go the 2 months NC don't even respond to her. Be the better person, go about and do your own thing without giving her a 2nd thought.
suddendumpee Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 She says she is taking advantage of me. And you want to date her? A little confused here. I have to agree with her that you obviously lack confidence. You need to read up on attraction and being an alpha male. Says I am acting like the guy who will always be there, asking where my confidence is; pretty much, I'm invading her space. Easily fixed. DON'T be that guy. DO NOT contact her. DO NOT act needy. You will drive her away for good. I suggest NC until she comes to you begging and AFTER you have nailed 4 of her friends. Thing is, she was content with us dating other people until I talked her out of it... I think. You did not talk her out of it. You just proved to her that you are insecure and needy. A confident man would have said something like: "I encourage you to date other people. Actually, I've been thinking the same thing, but didn't know if it would hurt you to bring it up. Dating is something I take very seriously, and I need to be SURE I'm with someone special before truly committing. I really think that we moved too quickly and we need to slow things down a bit" Anyway, how should I handle a 2 month break? One month is one thing, but 2 months seems more like a prelude to a break-up. She says she needs time to consider if she wants to be single or if she will miss me. I'm so confused. I just want to be with her. How should I handle this? What do you think is going to happen when we meet up again after 2 months? Feel free to ask for more detail. Thanks! 100% NO CONTACT. And when she decides she wants you back because you proved that you are not a needy wuss, you need to turn down her offer. Make her chase you. If she doesn't chase, she didn't want it that bad anyway, and it would have just ended again in the near future (after she proved to herself that your wuss self was waiting for her).
Chi townD Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Okay sorry to be blunt but you need some translantions. "I think we need to take a break" = breaking up " I think we need to date other people" = I already have, you just don't know about it. I would take this time to heal and explore other options.
carhill Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Hi OP, welcome to LS Were you a virgin too? Since you weren't some religious couple waiting to save sex for marriage, presume she sees her new-found sexual expression as a really cool toy to play with and she's going to do that now. I liked these words. Real healthy stuff: "I encourage you to date other people. Actually, I've been thinking the same thing, but didn't know if it would hurt you to bring it up. Dating is something I take very seriously, and I need to be SURE I'm with someone special before truly committing. I really think that we moved too quickly and we need to slow things down a bit" I've said a permutation of these a number of times in my life and the end result has been wonderfully healthy, in that people who weren't interested in, attracted to or really cared about me were unencumbered by *anything* to pursue whatever they wished, and they did. It's really good information.
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