Dante311 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 but she still fails to see a future with us... yet still works at it with me. We're exclusive... she is still in love with her ex and I'm ok with that and she keeps telling me they're not getting back together... ever. But she can't promise me any future... regardless. Go with it? Or cut my losses and move on? it's getting annoying now. I like the thing we have, but we're not boyfriend-girlfriend.. just exclusively dating. SHe's met my friends. I know a few of hers. Her friends that know me approve of me. Her ex approves of me. My friends like her. I need to stop thinking about the future. perhaps I just answered my own question
s0lost Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 we are in the same boat, lol. My plan was sit back until she is ready to move forward with me (a relationship). I don't think I can keep going on dates with her anymore cause I end up wanting more and more from her which she isn't able to give due to having some feelings for her ex. She says she doesn't want to hurt me cause if we did get together, I wouldn't be the only one she thought about. Maybe I should try what you are doing and keep doing dates..even though I'd just be setting myself up to fall flat on my face.
Author Dante311 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 we are in the same boat, lol. My plan was sit back until she is ready to move forward with me (a relationship). I don't think I can keep going on dates with her anymore cause I end up wanting more and more from her which she isn't able to give due to having some feelings for her ex. She says she doesn't want to hurt me cause if we did get together, I wouldn't be the only one she thought about. Maybe I should try what you are doing and keep doing dates..even though I'd just be setting myself up to fall flat on my face. I asked her if she could invest in us day by day and she said yes... I'm not doing dates. We're acting all couple like now... but we're just dating exclusively. but the future? Still opaque and non-existent with us... it's pissing me off. i'm thinking.. 1 more month i'll give it a go. If no progress has been made, I'm launching her. I've already given her 2 chances (b/c she's ****ed up... long story)
s0lost Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 yeah. so you are dating and acting couple-like..but not boyfriend and girlfriend? I'm confused on what your exact relationship status is then, cause when I date someone we are bf and gf..lol.
Author Dante311 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 yeah. so you are dating and acting couple-like..but not boyfriend and girlfriend? I'm confused on what your exact relationship status is then, cause when I date someone we are bf and gf..lol. she's still in love with her ex... she she won't give us an exclusive title. before we became exclusive.. she hooked up with her ex twice... (while he had a new girl) I forgave her. I said I understood.. they were together for nearly 3 years. the night before we became exlcuisve... she gave head to an ex from years ago.. i was disappointed in her and dumped her before we became exclusive. she cried to me that she wanted us. i told her actions speak louder than words. then tonight she made that comment.. that made me question everything about 'us'... i said I want you. she told me she wants me. sounds like everything is ok, but I feel like it isn't. wtf...
s0lost Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 yeah, well if she is still doing stuff like that with her ex's then what makes you think if you guys were in a relationship she would be faithful? I know you said it was before you guys were "exclusive" and everything..but if you guys both had somewhat mutual feelings for each other, it wouldn't be that easy of a decision for her to fool around like that. It shouldn't matter that you weren't in a relationship at the time it happened..if it happened a day before you got together but liked each other for a while beforehand, I would say she most likely wouldn't be faithful to you.
Eeyore79 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 You are absolutely nuts for being exclusive with someone who refuses to be your gf and is still in love with someone else. She already hooked up with her ex twice while you were together, so what makes you think she won't do it again? She obviously wants him more than you, and if he clicks his fingers she'll drop you like a hot brick and go running back to him. You're just filling a gap because he doesn't want her right now. I'm shocked that you can happily say her ex approves of you, because that means this guy has met you and is still in her life, even though he banged her twice while she was with you! You should hand in your Man Card for being friendly with a guy who banged your girl behind your back; what you should have done is thumped him in the face. I'm even more shocked that you became exclusive with a girl who sucks random guys' cocks when she isn't even in a relationship with them. Moreover, she sucked this guy's cock while she was dating you! You really need to grow a pair and stop letting people use and abuse you. This grl clearly doesn't care about you, is in love with someone else, has messed around with other guys behind your back... why haven't you dumped her already?
Author Dante311 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 yeah, well if she is still doing stuff like that with her ex's then what makes you think if you guys were in a relationship she would be faithful? I know you said it was before you guys were "exclusive" and everything..but if you guys both had somewhat mutual feelings for each other, it wouldn't be that easy of a decision for her to fool around like that. It shouldn't matter that you weren't in a relationship at the time it happened..if it happened a day before you got together but liked each other for a while beforehand, I would say she most likely wouldn't be faithful to you. yeah.... i guess you both are right. i was just hoping the situation would turn out differently. oh well, her loss.
Star Gazer Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I don't think she's investing in your "relationship." Her heart belongs to someone else. It'd be impossible for her to invest in anything but her ex right now. I'd say it's just bad timing, but because you're still "with" her knowing full well how she feels about her ex, and still sleeping with him... You're telling her it's okay to use you as an emotional tampon and doormat.
Author Dante311 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 I don't think she's investing in your "relationship." Her heart belongs to someone else. It'd be impossible for her to invest in anything but her ex right now. I'd say it's just bad timing, but because you're still "with" her knowing full well how she feels about her ex, and still sleeping with him... You're telling her it's okay to use you as an emotional tampon and doormat. ah ****. you had to use the word doormat. she's gone. i'm dumping her for the last time. i've had it. i don't care how much she cries this time.
creighton0123 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 She keeps thinking about the past. You keep thinking about the future. Why don't both of you spend a little more time thinking about the present?
Eeyore79 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 i don't care how much she cries this time. They're crocodile tears. She doesn't even love you, she loves someone else - the ex-bf who she was having sex with behind your back. If she's upset, she's only upset at losing you as an emotional tampon who was filling a gap while she pined after her ex.
AverageJoe Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 she is still in love with her ex and I'm ok with that and she keeps telling me they're not getting back together. If the person you are with, is not the number one reason you can think of to be filling that position, the position needs to go unfilled. This is what I call being a second choice. If you were to walk down broadway, and see a bunch of plays or what have you. And for whatever reason the star of the play cant be there, there is an understudy available. A person that comes in and performs the roll when someone gets sick or cant be there for some reason. Why wouldnt you want to be with someone that should be the best possible person you could get? It sounds like you are the understudy in her lifes play.
Author Dante311 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 I know why she likes me... I'm strong, I'm independent... and the sex is good. I'm "endowed" and I am taking that as being one of the more important things to her... and I love it, but hate it. I'm 25.. and yeah, I want to have fun, but I like looking to my future... to have a family... I can't see her catching me when I fall... when I want to cry... sucks. Maybe it's time to move on. I love expressing myself on these forums,helps me clear ym thoughts.
Smoky Day Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 She is using you. For sex, and to be her emotional crutch. She's not faithful, and she's in love with someone else. You say yourself that you can't imagine her trying to catch you if you fall. Word of advice: don't ever invest yourself emotionally in a person who wouldn't try to catch you if you fall. I'm sorry, Dante. It is time to move on.
Author Dante311 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 No, you're all right. I gave up my man-card for this bitch. heh time to move on
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