kazb25 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 here is my story, i was 17 when we got 2 gether he was 41. He told me he was unhappy in his relationship but could not leave his kids while they were young. I am...wait for it....29 yrs old he is 53. We have been having a relationship like a normal couple would. 8 months ago he told me he wanted to start trying for a baby with me as i longed to be a mum after having fertility problems and he said he would get a house with me as his kids grown up now and he loved me. I was so happy at the time that he was serious about me and i thought it spoke volumes as to how he was tellin me the truth about how much he loved me. We tried and 5 months later a fell pregnant. I am now 12 wks gone and i am worried he will not make the commitment that he has promised. Have i made a mistake? i am hormonal and feeling insecure more than ever right now. I am part happy that I have a baby inside my belly that I love with all my heart but because as many of u will know, getting involved and being the OW is not for the faint hearted can can leave you with many insecurities, i am also part affraid that all will not go the way i have been told it will go. Help please !!!!
desertIslandCactus Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 here is my story, i was 17 when we got 2 gether he was 41. He told me he was unhappy in his relationship but could not leave his kids while they were young. I am...wait for it....29 yrs old he is 53. We have been having a relationship like a normal couple would. 8 months ago he told me he wanted to start trying for a baby with me as i longed to be a mum after having fertility problems and he said he would get a house with me as his kids grown up now and he loved me. I was so happy at the time that he was serious about me and i thought it spoke volumes as to how he was tellin me the truth about how much he loved me. We tried and 5 months later a fell pregnant. I am now 12 wks gone and i am worried he will not make the commitment that he has promised. Have i made a mistake? i am hormonal and feeling insecure more than ever right now. I am part happy that I have a baby inside my belly that I love with all my heart but because as many of u will know, getting involved and being the OW is not for the faint hearted can can leave you with many insecurities, i am also part affraid that all will not go the way i have been told it will go. Help please !!!! Honey, All I can tell you is that it is You and the Baby at this time.. and that is not such a bad thing. I have no idea if the MM will commit to you. Take it as it comes.
half_ofa_heart Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Oh Honey.... My heart goes out to you! One can never know what a MM is thinking. Right now, you need to just concentrate on yourself and that baby.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I wish you nothing but the best. Like the others have said it's you and the baby. However... if he hasn't left his wife by now I don't think he will. Trust me I know how tangled these things can get.
pureinheart Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 here is my story, i was 17 when we got 2 gether he was 41. He told me he was unhappy in his relationship but could not leave his kids while they were young. I am...wait for it....29 yrs old he is 53. We have been having a relationship like a normal couple would. 8 months ago he told me he wanted to start trying for a baby with me as i longed to be a mum after having fertility problems and he said he would get a house with me as his kids grown up now and he loved me. I was so happy at the time that he was serious about me and i thought it spoke volumes as to how he was tellin me the truth about how much he loved me. We tried and 5 months later a fell pregnant. I am now 12 wks gone and i am worried he will not make the commitment that he has promised. Have i made a mistake? i am hormonal and feeling insecure more than ever right now. I am part happy that I have a baby inside my belly that I love with all my heart but because as many of u will know, getting involved and being the OW is not for the faint hearted can can leave you with many insecurities, i am also part affraid that all will not go the way i have been told it will go. Help please !!!! Honey, All I can tell you is that it is You and the Baby at this time.. and that is not such a bad thing. I have no idea if the MM will commit to you. Take it as it comes. Straight up truth...bold... I have 2 kids and 3 grandkids, I chose from the beginning to raise them on my own. Their fathers were there for a couple of years in the kids lives, although when push came to shove, I left both of them and they paid a tiny, tiny bit of child support and they b*tched about that. I have never had that luxury to depend on a man...my advice would be to do it on your own...have your baby, and have fun with that baby now, and please don't be like I was (workaholic) and wait for grandkids to have fun. Be ok with whatever happens with the R with your baby's father and just enjoy your baby. My youngest granchild is growing up fast (she's TERRIBLE TWO, and the worst terrible 2 I've ever seen!!!!!)...they are so much fun to watch...great entertainment...lol....sooooo they grow up fast...the baby part is the best IMO. I also enjoy teenagers. Like Desert said, you and your baby is a fact....You know K, I have had men come and go in my life, BUT my kids have always been there (and still are as they are all living with me:D). I trust my kids more than a relationship.
pureinheart Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 (edited) I wish you nothing but the best. Like the others have said it's you and the baby. However... if he hasn't left his wife by now I don't think he will. Trust me I know how tangled these things can get. ((((((((hugs)))))))), It'll be ok for you MLO....you've got my thoughts and prayers right at this minute:) Oh BTW K...a baby is NEVER a mistake Edited January 7, 2011 by pureinheart
YellowShark Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 here is my story, i was 17 when we got 2 gether he was 41. OMFG. That is basically statutory rape. I already dislike this man. I am...wait for it....29 yrs old he is 53. So the affair has been going on for 12 years. I am now 12 wks gone and i am worried he will not make the commitment that he has promised. Have i made a mistake? I would have to agree with the other posters here. The only thing for sure is it's just you and the baby. i am also part affraid that all will not go the way i have been told it will go. Help please !!!! All you can do right now is look out for #1. And that's you and the baby. Take care of yourself and don't rely on this man to be there when push comes to shove. Only time will tell if he is serious about the commitment that he has promised you. Good luck.
carhill Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 OP, welcome to LS How are you doing for resources? Medical for you and your baby? A place to live? Help with 'stuff' that a pregnant woman needs? How much contact has your MM had with you during this time? Is it consistent with in the past? Do you have family nearby? While I do have issues with a 40 yo cherry picking a young girl, what's done is done and has stood the test of time. The advice to live for yourself and your baby is healthy. No one can predict the future. During this time, perhaps you can make arrangements to serve those purposes and ensure continued health and safety for yourself and your new child. Best wishes for a healthy and successful pregnancy
NoIDidn't Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 Like the others have said, its you and the baby regardless of what he does. But, my thinking is that he is 53 and his other children are grown. He's likely to back out on this once the romanticizing of having a baby with his mistress passes when he remembers what it was like raising his others. That and when his mistress starts asking him to change diapers, or take the baby to an appt (and he can't manage to do it without arousing suspicions with his W). Its usually a beautiful dream....until it becomes real.
BB07 Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 This story is one of the saddest I've read on here. A man who was well past the age of knowing right and wrong, took advantage of a 17 year old. :mad: Now this woman has spent her whole adult life being a mistress and now she may shoulder the responsibility of a baby alone. I'd personally like to take this man out and well I can't say what I'd like to see be done to him but it ain't pretty nor nice. Shame on him........and I just hope that his soul is not so black that he supports this woman and her precious baby.
carrie999 Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 This story is one of the saddest I've read on here. A man who was well past the age of knowing right and wrong, took advantage of a 17 year old. :mad: Now this woman has spent her whole adult life being a mistress and now she may shoulder the responsibility of a baby alone. I'd personally like to take this man out and well I can't say what I'd like to see be done to him but it ain't pretty nor nice. Shame on him........and I just hope that his soul is not so black that he supports this woman and her precious baby. I'm with you, BB07. This guy sounds like a predator. OP, I really hope he supports you. Make sure that at the very least, he provides financial support. As previous posters said, this is now about you and the baby, not you and him. Shift your focus towards your child.
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