s0lost Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Hey guys! I'm usually one to give friends advice..but I have been asking myself what I'd do about the situation I'm in..and I just don't know :/ So I met this girl, and she's pretty much amazing. The first time we went out on a date we went to the movies and had a good time..spent the rest of the day together. Then New Years Eve rolls around and we end up deciding we'll each bring our best friends and do a double date sort of deal. So we go out and have a good time, then it's really late so we decide to watch some movies til we fall asleep. Our friends both fell asleep before us, then we decided to stop the movie and cuddled up cozier on the couch and fell asleep together. Probably had the most fun with her that night than I've had in the last 5 years or so with anyone else. She makes me laugh and I'm always giggly around her, and I have butterflies in my stomach . A few days later we are texting and talking about how great of a time we had and everything, but I could tell she was upset about something. I asked what was wrong and she said her ex was contacting her and she didn't know what to do because part of her still had feelings for her ex. I knew about the relationship with her ex..and they were together for a few years, and were also engaged at one point. The guy treated her really poorly too...he cheated on her multiple times and left her for someone he just met. They have been broken up for a few months officially before I met her. So she explained how she felt really bad about it and has been crying alot, and didn't want to hurt me so she doesn't know what to do. I feel it's normal to have feelings for an ex, especially after being engaged..and being together for that long ya know? She says she wants to be over him so she can move forward with me, so she's gonna try going to a counselor and see if that helps at all. My question it what should I do during this time? I don't want to smother her, but I want to be there for her through this because I know she's worth it, and she's such a beautiful person inside and out...thanks, and sorry for the novel!
Surrealist Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 What do i dooooo? Do a poooooooo! Okay, she will certainly need to get herself sorted regarding her ex. She is taking action with getting counselling and that is good. I think you're on the money with not smothering her and being there for her. You should realise that there is going to be some rebound issues with her until such time she has resolved her issues with her ex. Her ex sounds like a real buggar, hopefully she realises this and moves on, if she is what you describe, she deserves much better than him.
Author s0lost Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 Thanks for the response! Yeah..and I'm falling for her, I can't stop thinking about her and I don't want to push her away by coming on too strong while she is dealing with all of this, don't want to force her to make a decision lol. I'm not perfect but she brings out the best in me...and she says I bring out the best in her and when she's with me it's the happiest she's been since they broke up! I know she deserves so much better, and that's what I told her It's just hard being "just friends" while she goes through this..but I guess it's better this way so she doesn't feel guilty about thinking of him while she's with me and everything.
Eddie Edirol Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Man, dont get attached to this woman. She is only a few months out of her last relationship and she will wind up telling you that she cant date you yet because she is long from over him. She wants to be happy with you but she still thinks about him, and you dont make her forget about him. She started dating you to forget about him and it didnt work. You dont sweep her off her feet. Counceling isnt going to help her, time is. You can hang back all you want, but she might wake up one day down the line and realize that starting anything with you was a big mistake while her head is in a rebound fog.
Author s0lost Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 (edited) it's been about 5 months since they broke up, but we aren't really dating. We've gone out on "A" date which was laid back just to the movies..and hung out a few times and on new years and stuff. She said she wants to be friends til she gets herself taken care of so she can move forward with me. We aren't currently together just to clearify. Edited January 7, 2011 by s0lost
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