lostinlove69 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 So I have never used something like but am now trying to vent and get things out! I am 29 and 5 and a half months pregnant and my husband ended our relationship about three weeks ago. It came out of no where and I had no idea he didnt want this life with me. We tried to pregant for almost a year and when it finally happened I thought we were both so excited and now he tells me he never wanted this life with me, Im too controlling, I tore him apart from his mom and im not girly enough. I could handle him ending it because I have no choice and need to stay sane because I am having twins and I am high risk as is. He has been so mean and its like I have no idea who he is now. He has been partying and hanging out with other women like 4 days after breaking my heart. He wants to come to the ultra sounds and be there when our girls are born but how can I have him by my side? And how could he face me every two weeks after making me leave my home and deal with this pregnancy by myself. He didnt even let me say good bye to my step son who I loved to death and also had an amazing bond with. I am just so lost and don't even know why this happened. We did move fast but have known each other since high school. I know that with time my heart will heal and I need to let go but it is so hard when I was truely in love!
Surfer203 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Sounds like he is not ready for this huge committment. Being a father to a newborn again. Maybe he wans to party and live a more social life but did not have the guts to tell you prior. Or maybe this is way of escaping being with you because he is a cowardly man with no integrity. I know you are in a tough position, but this guy is a dirtbag. Any one who could abandon their pregnant wife in mid-term is a piece of s***. Especially if there were no pre-existing problems in the marriage. Best of luck - lean on family and close friends at this time and you will make it through. Maybe your husband will snap out of it and be a real man.
tinktronik Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 So I have never used something like but am now trying to vent and get things out! I am 29 and 5 and a half months pregnant and my husband ended our relationship about three weeks ago. I'm so sorry. I'm 5 months pregnant too and while I would be okay eventually if my SO left it would be very scary and unbalancing. It came out of no where and I had no idea he didnt want this life with me. We tried to pregant for almost a year and when it finally happened I thought we were both so excited and now he tells me he never wanted this life with me, Im too controlling, I tore him apart from his mom and im not girly enough. These honestly just sound like a plethora of excuses for a man who is selfish and looking for any out. He had plenty of opportunity to bring up these issues and working on them or ending the relationship during the time before or during when you were trying to conceive. I could handle him ending it because I have no choice and need to stay sane because I am having twins and I am high risk as is. Hold firm. You can get through this! If you need to chat were here for you. You need to stay somewhat emotionally stable for your babies during this time. What is something that relaxes you? He has been so mean and its like I have no idea who he is now. He has been partying and hanging out with other women like 4 days after breaking my heart. He wants to come to the ultra sounds and be there when our girls are born but how can I have him by my side? And how could he face me every two weeks after making me leave my home and deal with this pregnancy by myself. You need to make a decision about what you need now. Can you handle seeing him? If not, you are in no way entitled to allow him to doctors visits having to do with your body. Make this decision for you, not for him. ]He didnt even let me say good bye to my step son who I loved to death and also had an amazing bond with. I am just so lost and don't even know why this happened. We did move fast but have known each other since high school. I know that with time my heart will heal and I need to let go but it is so hard when I was truely in love! Time for no contact. You need to stop taking his contact, I know it will be so hard. You need to stop contacting him or following what he's doing with his time. I'm here if you need to chat.
robf1971 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 So I have never used something like but am now trying to vent and get things out! I am 29 and 5 and a half months pregnant and my husband ended our relationship about three weeks ago. It came out of no where and I had no idea he didnt want this life with me. We tried to pregant for almost a year and when it finally happened I thought we were both so excited and now he tells me he never wanted this life with me, Im too controlling, I tore him apart from his mom and im not girly enough. I could handle him ending it because I have no choice and need to stay sane because I am having twins and I am high risk as is. He has been so mean and its like I have no idea who he is now. He has been partying and hanging out with other women like 4 days after breaking my heart. He wants to come to the ultra sounds and be there when our girls are born but how can I have him by my side? And how could he face me every two weeks after making me leave my home and deal with this pregnancy by myself. He didnt even let me say good bye to my step son who I loved to death and also had an amazing bond with. I am just so lost and don't even know why this happened. We did move fast but have known each other since high school. I know that with time my heart will heal and I need to let go but it is so hard when I was truely in love! In my opinion men who leave their wives when pregnant should be thrown in prison what a piece of sh*t
girlygirl505 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I feel for you as I was also left by my H when I was 5 months pregnant after 6 years of marriage and 11 years together. He left me for a 23 year old co-worker of his. That was in August and my daughter is now 2 weeks old. My H did attend each ultrasound. Which he cried at and would feel guilty for what he had done to our family (we also have a 9 year old son). After his begging and pleading, I gave in and also let him be there for the birth of our daughter which I now regret. He didnt earn the right to be there for such a special moment...but I felt sorry for him. I know first hand the pain of going through pregnancy while being incredibly distraught and the feeling of being alone but YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT! You will be in a bit of a funk and on an emotional rollercoaster but you need to focus on eating right, sleeping properly and surrounding yourself with as many friends and family as possible. Once your sweet babies are born, they will bring a new light and meaning to your life and the sting of what your H has done will no longer be at the forefront of your thoughts. Your amazing children will be. Keep posting for support. Reading other peoples posts and advise have been a very helpful resource in coping.
Soxfaninfl Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 In my opinion men who leave their wives when pregnant should be thrown in prison what a piece of sh*t I totally agree! He is a piece of crap. When my son was born it was the happiest day of my life. I only got have one child with my stbx, and would love to have more children someday. I love being a dad.
Author lostinlove69 Posted January 7, 2011 Author Posted January 7, 2011 Thanks to all of you your words really help!! I know im not the only person who has ever been here and that eventually i will be ok!!
Duckduckgoose Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Stay sane for your unborn babies' sake! He was a real prick to leave. If you don't want him present for your checkups and delivery don't let him in. Make sure you prove that they are his kids though, get child support from him. He might not be with you but he sure in the hell better take care of his precious kids.
Author lostinlove69 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Well i have been staying strong and had an appointment the babies are still doing good!!! Ive done the no contact even when the ex texted to see how the app went and its been 5 more days and hes writing that he is thinking of me and hopes im taking care of myself and that the babies are ok........I have not responded because i dont think hes even worth a response but im so proud of myself for holding my ground!!!!!!
tinktronik Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Well i have been staying strong and had an appointment the babies are still doing good!!! Ive done the no contact even when the ex texted to see how the app went and its been 5 more days and hes writing that he is thinking of me and hopes im taking care of myself and that the babies are ok........I have not responded because i dont think hes even worth a response but im so proud of myself for holding my ground!!!!!! I'm proud of you too. You're doing the best thing for your own piece of mind and sanity right now. I'm so glad the babies are doing good. What are you having? Do you know yet?
Author lostinlove69 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 I am so excited to say two little girls possibly identical!!
tinktronik Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I am so excited to say two little girls possibly identical!! Awww. That is so exciting! I've got my 4th baby (and first girl) on the way now. You are going to have so much to offer to these babies. I'll bet you can't wait.
You Go Girl Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Why let him attend the ultrasounds? Don't give this man a minute more of your time than what the law insists and will throw you in jail for if you don't. Make it known that since he has dumped you, he is an outcast in your life. No ultrasounds, no delivery room, no baby showers, no phone calls, no hugs, no dinners, no table scraps, not even the leftover dog's food. Don't give him the time of day, but make sure you get maximum child support.
Author lostinlove69 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 good advice!! I messed up because yesterday i heard he was in the hospital so i wrote him to make sure he was ok and the response i got was im fine and i was like why did i show i care or write him, i feel so stupid for doing that i was doing so good!! But from here on out the only call i will make is when the babies are born and then prob see him in court!
juliejeanes Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 i am n the same place as u. my husband left when i was 7 months pg came back and left again 3 weeks after giving birth to our son. he says he is unhappy and it is my fault. i believe there is another woman bc he text this one girl constantly. she talks about me and tells him im no good for him. I have been good to him and faithful. my friend tells me to ignore him and act like i dont care. I am trying and it is the hardest thing to do. I just want him back bc i love him so much.
tinktronik Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 OP I was thinking about you today. How are things going?
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