Little Bird Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Because guys online suck. A guy messages me on POF, and the series of back and forth messages have consisted of me writing paragraph length emails that actually show effort, while his have been only 1 short sentence ( no exaggeration on my part here). Then he messages me on MSN with a "hey" and then says he'll be back in an hour. He ends up being "away" for over an hour without a peep. Why initiate a conversation with someone if you're going to just leave? I've only been on POF for a week and already I'm ready to give up. Also when I look at his MSN profile all of his "friends" are girls who look younger than him. At first I thought his reticence was out of shyness, but now I think he's a douche. A douche and a creep, or just immature. Also, another guy I've been emailing with seems really great, but on his profile it shows he's mostly there to "talk/email". I know many who have had success online and a couple have found long term relationships, which made me want to try it out. Now I'm having second thoughts.
Emilia Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 that's just two guys. you will have to talk to many more before you find someone you really like, just like in real life. do you give up on real life dating completely just because a couple of guys say something annoying in a bar? it's the same thing. I personally never chat with anyone on msn or on any other IM and certainly not with someone that only replies with one liners. Once we have exchanged a few proper messages through the website and we seem to get on, one of us usually initiates to exchange phone numbers and start texting/chatting. it's then best to meet up as soon as possible. this is the only way to avoid wasting your time and theirs. if someone wants msn only to me that's a sign that they are time wasters and I move on without a second thought. give it time, it takes months of practice to get it right, online dating sites are a great way to chat with men and to learn what you find important in someone. I surprise myself still and I bet I'm much older than you
zengirl Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I met my BF on OKC, and he definitely doesn't suck. He's pretty awesome. And I met other guys who wrote me messages for weeks -- even when I was in a foreign country, and about to move to a brand new city where I knew no one -- who seemed great. Not as great as my BF, but way more effort than what you describe. Just keep your standards high but meaningful (not shallow standards, but wanting real responses is way more than reasonable), ignore anyone who doesn't meet them, and keep on going. Online dating, like real life, isn't about meeting the perfect person instantly. Everything takes time and patience and work.
Little Bird Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Here's the situation: The one guy who has messaged me and has responded to my emails with one sentence answers wants me to call him. From his emails, it seems like he's not interested, and he hasn't written much about himself. Should I just call him and see what happens? I'm confused.
paleblue Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Welcome to the wonderful world of online dating. Sometimes I think Id rather stab myself than deal with this garbage, but sometimes you come across someone cool. Good luck!
Myst Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 Here's the situation: The one guy who has messaged me and has responded to my emails with one sentence answers wants me to call him. From his emails, it seems like he's not interested, and he hasn't written much about himself. Should I just call him and see what happens? I'm confused. Dont call him. If a guy is into you, hell make the effort to call you first. Maybe try a paid dating site. People are less likely to waste your time as they are paying to contact a member. This guy sounds like hes wasting your time.
Emilia Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 the problem with dating sites is that you can never be sure who is a fully paid member with access to emails and who is on a freebie with no contact. in my experience free sites offer a greater variety of people and you can talk to anyone, you just need to work out how to wade through the chaff. don't call the guy, if you are comfortable for him to have your number by all means send it to him. if he doesn't call within 24 hours, he is a time waster and you should move on.
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