chubachoop Posted March 18, 2004 Posted March 18, 2004 I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months. We are best friends and soul mates and he is my perfect partner. I wanted to get married to him. There was one thing that didnt make me happy so I called him to tell him and instead of saying we'd work through the problem he said we shoud just be fiends. I was so upset for two days then he called me and we spoke for hours, he said he wanted to break up and then that he didnt. then he said he doesnt know what he wants. he said he loves me but he is so scared that we wont be together forever and then we wont be friends. I told him I cant be friends straight away and told him not to call or text me. I hate it though and just want to ring him. I just want him to realise he does want to be with me and even though I want him as my best friend I feel like never speaking to him as punishment for hurting me like this. Im so confused and dont know what to do
Pebbles59 Posted March 18, 2004 Posted March 18, 2004 I am also in love with my best friend. I also think he has that fear of it not working out and then we won't be friends. I believe my friend cares for me more then a friendship level but just doesn't want to admit it, etc. I haven't talked to my friend since last Friday and I have no intentions of talking to him. It is HARD as hell, we used to e-mail each other every day, IM each other every day. See each other for days on end and worst of all he lives 3 doors down the hall!!! :-( But he doesn't want to be more then friends with anyone, it has nothing to do with me and he says that he doesn't see that changing anytime soon. And that he would like to still be my friend but if I couldn't handle it, then I couldn't handle it. I told him that I will always be a friend to him but that with the amount of time that we do spend together, just hurts me. I left the ball in his court, in terms of contact...he hasn't and neither have I. My lease is up at the end of May, I will probably e-mail him just to let him know that I am moving and what my new address will be because we are friends. And I believe that we will ALWAYS be friends, I just cannot deal with all the time together and he not wanting to be committed. He likes his alone time he says...well he's getting that now. I know that if it is meant to be, it will be. And I hope it will be. I wake up thinking about him, I go to bed thinking about him. I'm at work thinking about him. And I wonder if he does the same. Maybe but I know maybe not as well!!! Just think about yourself and do what you need to do with YOUR life, if it's meant to be, it will be!!!! Pebbles
gaia Posted March 18, 2004 Posted March 18, 2004 chubachoop - what was this thing you weren't happy with. Will respect your privacy if you don't want to say, but would make advising a hell of a lot easier
fredrolin Posted March 19, 2004 Posted March 19, 2004 spending 4 months with a person isn't long enough to know that you want to spend the rest of your lives together. This is why the divorce courts are packed with cases.
calithin83 Posted March 19, 2004 Posted March 19, 2004 jkust be strong...if he realizes that he wants to be with u he will come around...i mean 4 months is not that long people say but its enough time to really fall for someone!!! just have strength....i know its hard but my bf was the same he did wanna be with me yet he didnt..but look at us now..he broke up with me after 3 years and its so much harder then what it would have been if he would have done it long time ago..btu life happens..just hang in there..if he doesnt wanna get back just know that even though it might hurt ure saving ureslef from even WORSE Hurt..cos it suck if he would do this atfer a year or more!! i guess we just have to deal with guys undecisiveness and i also wish i could make my bf regret what he did..and im also punishing by not being his friend so then maybe he might miss me..but then again if we concentrate on them so much we dont give ourselves the time to breath and think about how we are feeling...it doesnt feel good and we cant wait around so long cos what if they dont want us? what then? we must be strong..hang in there and dont call him...dont text him..dont show him how much he means to u..cos sometimes guys run away when u show them that u love them so much..weird but u gotta remeber guys dont think like us girls..even if we wish they did! goodluck!
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