GreenPolicy Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Got it. Well the one ex was seeing someone I knew. I didn't find this out until a few months down the road though when one of my friends mentioned it to me. I was shocked because I had no idea. I stopped talking to her at that point even though it drove me up a wall. We too were engaged when her thing with him began. Thing is and I know this for a fact because I've now lived it twice is thoses relationships never work out..They just don't..Once the fairydust wears off them it's over which is why she came back and became a FWB. She wanted more than that but I still had my current who was off in G.I.G.S land so I coundn't. So I suppose I was cheating but I'm positive my current GF was to, so I said what the hel why not. Looking back I should have taken her back and got rid of my current. Same thing happened to me with said second ex though. She came back about 1.5 years later and wanted to rekindle but I had a steady How old were you guys when this happened? The one that you found out moved on so quick?
poorguy Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 When I found out about it I believe I was 27...She had G.I.G.S too..not just the second ex or th third for that matter lol...they all did...Well the last still does for now anyway...I know history will repeat itself again
mmiller5373 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 My ex lied too. I asked her several times if there was another guy and she said no. She continued to say no to me, even weeks after the breakup. Well, I ended up finding out she was serious enough with a guy to be taking kissing pictures with him, just 3 weeks after she broke up with me. I also found out he had been around for months while we were still together. Not sure if she was cheating on me or if he was just a friend, somebody she attached herself to while she was detaching herself from me. I feel used and like a fool. As for her not telling the truth, she did give me an excuse once. Said something like, "We're not together anymore so I guess my business doesn't matter to you." I think, in their minds, they probably feel guilty about it and want to make it as clean a break as possible. My ex even told me, we can be friends... maybe it could work in a year or so. Come on now... why would it work if you have someone else now? All of it was said to let me down easily, to make it easier on them. It's a selfish thing to do... it leaves us hanging on to something that's not there... while they're out with their new guy... pisses me off.
WiseOne1 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 (edited) I agree pretty much with every poster on this thread. I also think that, women move on much easier because they can find new dates easier. If a women is attractive, she might have men hitting on her all the time, she doesn't have to use pick up lines, or tell a life story, or (spit game) as some people might say, all she has to do is wait for the bait, kinda like fishing. Men on the otherhand, even if attractive, has to try to whoo her in, flirt, run game. So of course women always have a backup plan, or someone waiting in the wings. Women just have it easier at picking up dates. Edited January 7, 2011 by WiseOne1
poorguy Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 All of this is true about woman have options ahead of time and all of that. Most guys fail to remember that all of your exes and GF to be-you were that other option to her and you got her
WiseOne1 Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 All of this is true about woman have options ahead of time and all of that. Most guys fail to remember that all of your exes and GF to be-you were that other option to her and you got her EXACTLY, but why do guys tend to forget that when things go up in flames??? Ego, selfesteem, thinking that maybe it can't and wouldn't happen to me, but just like you said, they were at one time that other option. I also quickly learned that my long long long long time ago that girls WILL lie about having someone new, simply because when I met her she was with someone else. She left that guy and gave him the generic answers (I just think we need space or I want to focus more on my school work), the whole time she was with me.
poorguy Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 EXACTLY, but why do guys tend to forget that when things go up in flames??? Ego, selfesteem, thinking that maybe it can't and wouldn't happen to me, but just like you said, they were at one time that other option. I also quickly learned that my long long long long time ago that girls WILL lie about having someone new, simply because when I met her she was with someone else. She left that guy and gave him the generic answers (I just think we need space or I want to focus more on my school work), the whole time she was with me. Exactly...Guys forget it because it's happening to them in real time right then and there. Nobody likes to hear or know "the girl I still consider my GF or my very recent ex is f-ing someone else" Kinda hits a nerve ya know. Come to think of it I think almost every girl I've met was semi attatched in some way to someone else and along I came..I was more exciting, better in bed, blah blah.. Guess what happened-WE BROKE UP LOL All I'm saying is for everyone worrying about their ex and how she went about doing what she did or is doing with whoever-Keep in mind you soon will be the guy that some other guy is wondering about... Now as some of you may new we recently lost a member here named Homebrew..I didn't learn a lot from him because I've lived it, but he did put some things into perspective for me (making it easier to make sense so to speak)....I to date haven't ever had an ex NOT come back to me...especially after I went away and kept my mouth shut..In the meantime though like I said before I was already the new guy to another girl and her ex was probably on here trying to figure out where to go from there------------- Anyone see the cycle-it's all the same, it's just you at times play different role in the cycle
Author deadhead88 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 (edited) Is it justifiable for me to feel this angry and screwed over? I mean the way she lied about the reasons for the breakup and saying all that to soften the blow and make her look like a good person, and then tell me how she misses me and basically using me as an emotional cushion for her until she found a new guy to show her attention. And the fact that she told me she loves and made me hold onto something that was never there in the first place. Or should I just have seen it coming despite everything she told me? Edited January 9, 2011 by deadhead88
mmiller5373 Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 Is it justifiable for me to feel this angry and screwed over? I mean the way she lied about the reasons for the breakup and saying all that to soften the blow and make her look like a good person, and then tell me how she misses me and basically using me as an emotional cushion for her until she found a new guy to show her attention. And the fact that she told me she loves and made me hold onto something that was never there in the first place. Or should I just have seen it coming despite everything she told me? Yes it's justifiable. She didn't even respect you enough to tell you the truth. My ex did the same thing. No respect. We both were used. The only thing wrong with being angry is if you hold onto it and become bitter. Eventually, you have to let go and forgive... otherwise you'll spiral down into a depression or something.
Author deadhead88 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Posted January 9, 2011 (edited) She texted me something meaningless, which means that she must not realize I know what's going on yet, or she is just that cold. I ignored her text since it is back to nc for me. I don't want anything to do with her anymore. I finally deleted and blocked her from fb because seeing pictures of her and this guy are something i can go without. This gave me the closure i needed and helped me found out who my ex truly was as a person. Apart of me wants to say something to her if she continues to contact me. Something that shows her how hurt i am and how i don't appreciate the way she treated me but i think the best things to do is just ignore her all together. She should get the message eventually. Edited January 9, 2011 by deadhead88
Author deadhead88 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 I already blocked her on facebook because I don't want to see any more pics of her and this guy and I don't want to see how happy and how great her life is without me. Like i said, I ignored her last text a few days ago. I don't think she realizes yet that I know she has some new guy or fling (before she moves away) or whatever he is. Should I continue to ignore her attempts at contact or should I tell her straight up that I don't want her talking to me anymore as she has a new "friend" and has moved on and so I need to do the same. Thanks in advance for your advice.
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Is it justifiable for me to feel this angry and screwed over? I mean the way she lied about the reasons for the breakup and saying all that to soften the blow and make her look like a good person, and then tell me how she misses me and basically using me as an emotional cushion for her until she found a new guy to show her attention. And the fact that she told me she loves and made me hold onto something that was never there in the first place. Or should I just have seen it coming despite everything she told me? You can't go back and play "I should have known". You should focus on what you know to be true NOW, in the present and concentrate on that- and act accordingly. Your anger is justified, and it can be a useful tool to get past all of the heartache. It's not healthy to second guess your instincts, or beat yourself up for something you "should" have seen when your heart was twisted. You have all the knowledge you need now to grieve and move forward- but don't let resentment get in the way of moving on.
Nkognito Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I'm starting to think 90% of the reasons people give for breaking up are lies. "I need to be on my own" followed by "No, there's not somebody else" almost CERTAINLY means: "I screwed a dude last weekend and it felt really good and sex was new and exciting again. I now know that he wants more than a one-night stand, and having learned this, I'm leaving you now to go have sex with this new guy until it gets boring, and realize that this new relationship is very empty. Then I will attempt to get you to date me again until I cheat on you with another douche-bag who wants more than a one-night stand. I plan on doing this until I suck the life out of your ego AND give you herpes" Now you know why they lie.... ^ THAT POST IS BANK! LMAO!
Author deadhead88 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 If she tries to contact me again, should I continue to ignore her, or should I just outright tell her that I don't want her talking to me anymore because i'm and angry and hurt. Will that just make me look pathetic?
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