makelemonade1974 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 I've been a little over a month no contact and three months since the breakup. I have a pile of stuff that belongs to him (books, gloves) - really not that much - about half of a grocery bag. Here's what I'm hoping to achieve through no contact (based on where I'm at in the grief process) - I want to be an elusive ghost that he will miss, wonder about, and wish he treated better. Now I realize that's a bit unrealistic, but oh well. We work in the same department so I could conceivably put the stuff in his mailbox at work (we never run into each other at work - I make sure of that). It might take 2 days of filling the mailbox to capacity because it's not very big. So pick an option: 1) Put stuff in the mailbox soon (next week?) and don't include a note. 2) Put stuff in the mailbox and include a note that says "Here's some of your stuff. I hope you are doing well. Take care of yourself" or some such casual well-wishing nonsense. 3) Put stuff in the mailbox in 6 months after things have cooled down a bit - w/ or w/out well-wishing note. 4) keep the stuff 5) burn the stuff and throw a party in which my girlfriends and I dance around it and stick pins in voodoo dolls. Anyway, I just want him to think there's no animosity between us - primarily so he won't tell people how idiotic I acted after the breakup - trying to salvage a little respect I guess. What do you guys think?
0hpenelope Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 I'd just put it in the mailbox without a note. To me, the sooner I get rid of physical reminders that will remind me of my ex, the better I am and the sooner I'll start sorting through the harder stuff to deal with: memories. We're all in this together. Good luck.
bluebirdsfly Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 I did number 2 and my note was "Good luck and happy new year".
Author makelemonade1974 Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 Does a note count as breaking no contact?
LifeIsGreat Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Does a note count as breaking no contact? I think a note IS breaking no contact. Personally, I don't think a note is necessary. Is it that important that he get this stuff back? Has he asked for it back? If not, I would just trash it. Be careful that you aren't using 'stuff' as an excuse for having contact with him.
GreenPolicy Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 My ex left a bike of hers in my possession. It's her responsibility to get it back, not mine to return it.
bluebirdsfly Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Does a note count as breaking no contact? I think it depends on the real reason why you are sending the things back. For me, it is for a complete closure and I have no intention at all to use it as a way to re-establish communication. The note for me is just to be polite since I'm always a polite person and the breakup was not really ugly. And actually I feel liberated after I sent back the things.
Recommended Posts