Envoy147 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 I've been told that I'm good looking and I'm always grabbing the eyes of women. Well, maybe not those women who are over-the-top caked in make-up but, you get the idea. Women might be able to help me better in this area than guys, but I'll appreciate anyone's help if they can open my eyes to something new. However, I've been on ONE date all my life. I'm not super rich, nor do I have an extremely large social circle. I'm a down to earth, peace-loving laid back kinda guy. That's a little redundant I suppose but, I need some help when it comes to picking up women. I am 21 and I'm 5'5. I feel like I shrink in areas where there are lots of people making me socially vulnerable and less dominant. Despite that, I still get attention from women. I need to know what women like, and not the general stuff like "oh be yourself" no. I'd be Bill Gates' daddy if I had a penny every time I heard a woman brush off a guy with that crap. I want to know what women like to see in a guy when they first meet. And if there is anything special in the location, like if a woman is with her friends at the mall, or if she is alone at the mall. I understand logistics can change but, I've been thinking about this one girl who is a co-worker of my brother's. So how should I go about picking her up?
mo mo Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 All you need is confidence. You see something you want, make it happen. It's really that simple.
carhill Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 So how should I go about picking her up? Stop by your brother's work and chat her up, presuming that's possible. Asking her out is conversation. Does she know who you are? Have you had any prior contact?
Author Envoy147 Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 Stop by your brother's work and chat her up, presuming that's possible. Asking her out is conversation. Does she know who you are? Have you had any prior contact? We spoke once before when I was with my brother on his orientation day. She asked me if I wanted a job there out of nowhere and then both my brothers told me she was flirting with me. I failed to see that. That was like two weeks ago. I spoke to her and I wanted to talk to her but I called her Clark Kent from Smallville. I saw a resemblance and I meant it in a good way....I'm really inept with women but, I have my sweet moments.
murah989 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 like if a woman is with her friends at the mall, or if she is alone at the mall. ? Public places like this are considered the WORST places to meet women, especially if you plan on asking them out. The only exception is if they approach you for a question, or vice-versa. Girls who are out at the mall are going to either shop, or enjoy company of friends, and not there to be approached in that way. I want to know what women like to see in a guy when they first meet. Confidence, Confidence, Confidence. Don't start asking her 20 questions and don't ask her about religion, politics, or family. Keep things light and fluffy. If you're at a party and you see a couple girls hanging out, just go up to them and start talking about whatever they're talking about. Just have fun with it. If you're not having fun in the conversation, then leave. I've been thinking about this one girl who is a co-worker of my brother's. So how should I go about picking her up? This is a tough one because you're using your brother as a means to connect with this girl. Personally, I would take this very slow. Ask to be introduced and keep things light. I'm sure your brother knows a lot about this girl, so use his information to gain common ground. Maybe shes a mini-golf fanatic? If so, next time you're with her and your brother bring up a mini-golf outing.
carhill Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 She asked me if I wanted a job there out of nowhere 'Why don't we talk about it over dinner?' Do you see the simplicity?
Author Envoy147 Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 'Why don't we talk about it over dinner?' Do you see the simplicity? I see it. Thank you. I was wondering if you would call that hitting on me? Also, how should I go about it when I go back in to ask her out or pick her up? She probably doesn't remember me by now.
Author Envoy147 Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 like if a woman is with her friends at the mall, or if she is alone at the mall. ? Public places like this are considered the WORST places to meet women, especially if you plan on asking them out. The only exception is if they approach you for a question, or vice-versa. Girls who are out at the mall are going to either shop, or enjoy company of friends, and not there to be approached in that way. I want to know what women like to see in a guy when they first meet. Confidence, Confidence, Confidence. Don't start asking her 20 questions and don't ask her about religion, politics, or family. Keep things light and fluffy. If you're at a party and you see a couple girls hanging out, just go up to them and start talking about whatever they're talking about. Just have fun with it. If you're not having fun in the conversation, then leave. I've been thinking about this one girl who is a co-worker of my brother's. So how should I go about picking her up? This is a tough one because you're using your brother as a means to connect with this girl. Personally, I would take this very slow. Ask to be introduced and keep things light. I'm sure your brother knows a lot about this girl, so use his information to gain common ground. Maybe shes a mini-golf fanatic? If so, next time you're with her and your brother bring up a mini-golf outing. Thank you. I wanted to know how I should talk to her next time I see her. She probably won't remember me.
missdependant Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Being yourself IS important if you want anything long term. It's easy to spot a fake. Otherwise, when I was single, I was looking for brains, a good personality, confidence, similar tastes and someone who could let loose and have fun. The only place I can recommend not looking for someone is at a bar. Concerts are a good place to start.
Ross PK Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 All you need is confidence. You see something you want, make it happen. It's really that simple. What is this confidence you guys always mention when it comes to picking up women? Do you just mean confidence in yourself? What is that exactly and where do you get it from?
missdependant Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 like if a woman is with her friends at the mall, or if she is alone at the mall. ? Public places like this are considered the WORST places to meet women, especially if you plan on asking them out. The only exception is if they approach you for a question, or vice-versa. Girls who are out at the mall are going to either shop, or enjoy company of friends, and not there to be approached in that way. I want to know what women like to see in a guy when they first meet. Confidence, Confidence, Confidence. Don't start asking her 20 questions and don't ask her about religion, politics, or family. Keep things light and fluffy. If you're at a party and you see a couple girls hanging out, just go up to them and start talking about whatever they're talking about. Just have fun with it. If you're not having fun in the conversation, then leave. I've been thinking about this one girl who is a co-worker of my brother's. So how should I go about picking her up? This is a tough one because you're using your brother as a means to connect with this girl. Personally, I would take this very slow. Ask to be introduced and keep things light. I'm sure your brother knows a lot about this girl, so use his information to gain common ground. Maybe shes a mini-golf fanatic? If so, next time you're with her and your brother bring up a mini-golf outing. I disagree with the public places bit. I have been approached in public many times and every time, I have felt flattered. It never went anywhere because I was in a relationship. People meet in public places all the time; parties, concerts, grocery shopping, etc. The only people who are obviously off-limits are people with a ring on their finger. It never hurts to ask.
Author Envoy147 Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 Being yourself IS important if you want anything long term. It's easy to spot a fake. Otherwise, when I was single, I was looking for brains, a good personality, confidence, similar tastes and someone who could let loose and have fun. The only place I can recommend not looking for someone is at a bar. Concerts are a good place to start. How do you spot a fake? That's what I wanna know. I'm usually cynical so I'm like "i dont like this, i dont like that" i guess that makes a woman feel uncomfortable but, how do you spot a fake?
murah989 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 I disagree with the public places bit. I have been approached in public many times and every time, I have felt flattered. It never went anywhere because I was in a relationship. People meet in public places all the time; parties, concerts, grocery shopping, etc. . Parties:agreed Concerts: I've done it, equally as awesome. Grocery shopping: I don't know about that one. I always thought I could just lurk in the frozen food section and wait for my victim to appear and ask "So, I see you like chicken nuggets too...sexy".
carhill Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 She probably won't remember me. I remember well a couple weeks I spent with a young lady in Lviv 12 years ago. I recently wrote to her, beginning the letter with 'I don't know if you remember me', then bla bla. Here response began with 'Of course I remember you!' The lesson in this is that, even if she wasn't flirting with you, you were not a non-entity to her; you're the brother of a co-worker. Give yourself more credit. Now you know what to do (from prior posts) if she responds positively to your presence. Report back with the results. Good luck
AD1980 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 lol at the empty cliche posters with the confidence thing again AS if you cant get rejected if you have confidence and its some magic potion,either a womens attracted to you or shes not "confidence" isnt a magic potion,if shes attracted to you and you have confidence fine if shes not attracted to you confidence means nothing To the OP this boards full of pc peopel giving you empty cliches,your 5'5 which leaves you at a HUGE disadvanatage in the dating world women love height youll have to nagivate through that but nobody hear will tell you that theyll tell you emtpy fluff that will do nothing
Author Envoy147 Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 lol at the empty cliche posters with the confidence thing again AS if you cant get rejected if you have confidence and its some magic potion,either a womens attracted to you or shes not "confidence" isnt a magic potion,if shes attracted to you and you have confidence fine if shes not attracted to you confidence means nothing To the OP this boards full of pc peopel giving you empty cliches,your 5'5 which leaves you at a HUGE disadvanatage in the dating world women love height youll have to nagivate through that but nobody hear will tell you that theyll tell you emtpy fluff that will do nothing Nice one about my height. As if I already didn't know that.
AD1980 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Nice one about my height. As if I already didn't know that. Im short as well im just telling you its gonna be a uphill battle and you need to get over rejection and keep going These people are gonna make you think if you have this magic "confidence" women will flock to you and beat down your doors
missdependant Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 How do you spot a fake? That's what I wanna know. I'm usually cynical so I'm like "i dont like this, i dont like that" i guess that makes a woman feel uncomfortable but, how do you spot a fake? Well a guy that constantly agrees with absolutely everything you say, can't respond intelligently or just smiles and nods his head would come off as fake and/or boring to me. I like a guy who can hold his ground and give me a good debate or a deep conversation without being rude about it. I don't recall talking about politics or religion on mine and my husband's first date; we just talked about where we were from, how we got to where we were, what our favorite things to do were, what our plans were in life, etc. We agreed on a lot of things and that is what attracted us to each other. The more and more we dated, the more things we didn't agree on and that's fine. I like someone who can keep be real and stay true to their own personal values.
missdependant Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Parties:agreed Concerts: I've done it, equally as awesome. Grocery shopping: I don't know about that one. I always thought I could just lurk in the frozen food section and wait for my victim to appear and ask "So, I see you like chicken nuggets too...sexy". LOL, I wouldn't go that far. One of my best friends met her husband at a grocery store.. well they had "seen" each other at a party before, but didn't really talk until they were at the grocery store waiting in line. Their story is kind of cute. Oh and one more thing... don't date co-workers!!!!
shayan Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 if I had a dollar for every time I got rejected while being confident or scared. Well let's just say I'd have that BMW I've been wanting. the whole point is when you are confident and being yourself you can't lose, you really can't lose. Because confident people aren't attached to outcome they don't care what any girl says. Seriously if you let peoples' rejections phase you'll be very dissapointed person in life. If you attach the way you feel in any way to how someone reacts to you then boy, oh boy, you're gonna get burned. here is some advice Envoy. Start talking to more girls, start becoming more social, you can't learn how to be what you need to be from a post. You need experience and the only place that experience comes from is by approaching women. Go out and talk, to girls, to guys, to animals. good luck.
mo mo Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 if I had a dollar for every time I got rejected while being confident or scared. Well let's just say I'd have that BMW I've been wanting. the whole point is when you are confident and being yourself you can't lose, you really can't lose. Because confident people aren't attached to outcome they don't care what any girl says. Seriously if you let peoples' rejections phase you'll be very dissapointed person in life. If you attach the way you feel in any way to how someone reacts to you then boy, oh boy, you're gonna get burned. here is some advice Envoy. Start talking to more girls, start becoming more social, you can't learn how to be what you need to be from a post. You need experience and the only place that experience comes from is by approaching women. Go out and talk, to girls, to guys, to animals. good luck. I basically came back to post something like this to silence the folks who don't think confidence is a game-changer. If you approach a woman confidently, she will respect you no matter what happens. She might be available, she might not be. She might be a little insecure and needs time to digest the situation, or she might jump at the chance to date you. No matter what happens, you can't lose.
Mad Max Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 No chance. If you have looks, you really don't have to put in any effort.
JaneDoe35 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Height? Not important if you are confident, have a good sense of humour, dress well and are OK looking. And any woman who doesn't think so is really not worth your time or energy. Any man who is that concerned about his height will probably give off a negative vibe and that is why he wont have any luck with women. Sure - some women like tall men. Just as some men like big breasts. Big deal.
AD1980 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Height? Not important if you are confident, have a good sense of humour, dress well and are OK looking. And any woman who doesn't think so is really not worth your time or energy. Any man who is that concerned about his height will probably give off a negative vibe and that is why he wont have any luck with women. Sure - some women like tall men. Just as some men like big breasts. Big deal. ah the confidence thing again:laugh: Height is a pretty huge deal to women http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=123853&page=1
JaneDoe35 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 AD1980 - you are infuriating. Confidence is a universally attractive trait in a person. Not arrogance - just confidence. It is no great mystery. My tall stunning sister in law is married to a short, tubby, balding man. And she earns more than him too. He is one of the sexiest men I have ever met. He is smart, engaging and has a crazy sense of humour. He makes his wife feels like a million dollars. He is CONFIDENT in who he is.
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