What's the point, really?

[bzoe]

Maybe its just the mood I'm in - hurting deeply bc someone I was so close to - my best friend- someone I loved just up and left, dragged on a crazy breakup for months asking me to wait while avoiding me like the plague keeping me on a leash with breadcrumb texts randomly every few days, then turned into this vile monster as he started a new relationship with the girl he cheated with.

 

But the general concensus I see on these boards is no one owes you an explanation, leave them alone, etc.

 

I can see leaving them alone to just avoid unecessary drama but what's the point ..letting someone in that close bc they come with all these assurances and promises and "good will" so they can turn their back on you, put your life in shambles, and not even have to say a word as to why?

 

sure people change. sure things happen. But if a relationship was loving and generally good, what about honoring what you had together on the way out? how is that *lost* on anyone?

 

I was just talking to my mom who is on her second marriage now. Its been a year since they've been married..it was a whirlwind romance. And right now shes so over it. My mom? doesn't care about whys.. or that other persons "stuff". in fact its hard to listen to her speak bc I understand why she gets angry- he can be ridiculous but for the most part he's an outlandish attention seeker..was cheated on in a past marriage.. had a lot of insecurities and has no problem broadcasting his neediness. Also now in the US, back home he had status, women loved him.. here he starts at the bottom.. American women well we do things differently. He's not a bad guy though and even if a divorce is necessary here.. the whole "yeah i don't feel like dealing with it" thing bothers me. Isn't part of a commitment dealing with that other person and their stuff as they deal with yours? and if you can't, some sort of humane exit is out of the question? There are flaws in EVERYONE. you'll always find something. I'm not saying you should accept every and anything but seriously whats the point of a commitment if it has no glue.

 

I'll never pretend to be perfect but I do try. Damn I try to be good to my man in every way. Saying I'm sorry is not lost on me. thoughtfulness isn't that difficult. But I'm starting to feel like I..and people like me really have no business with this "love thing". Bc getting hurt by what feels like a great majority attitude of "so what, deal with it" after they finagle you into absorbing them into your life in its entirety.. it doesn't seem worth it. What the hell do I look like continuing to create beautiful intimate memories that haunt the **** out of me every conscious moment I have bc apparently.. its ok to just throw me away like trash

 

ugh..

 

thx for letting me vent