badlyhurtgal Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Hi there, First of all, please forgive me for being pathetic but I never knew that love could hurt this bad. I had a boyfriend who I have been seeing for a year but I was also seeing another guy on the side for 6 months. Before you start feeling sorry for my boyfriend - he has cheated on me too. The trouble is, I have fallen in love with the other guy and I KNOW that he felt the same before (even though nothing was actually said) but he was affectionate, telling me how beautiful I was and treating me like a princess. He used to look at me as though I was the only girl in the world. I have never, ever experienced anything like this - even with past boyfriends and was deliriously happy for 6 months. Then overnight, this guy just withdrew from me. He had always known that I had a boyfriend and was quite happy with the situation and then he went so distant all of a sudden. I let him get on with it but eventually had to ask him what was going on. He didn`t tell me much - just that he had some personal issues but would not specify what. He kept saying that he still wanted to be with me but his actions were doing the opposite. This went on for a couple of weeks. Him going from the best that he could be to the worst he could be knocked me for six because it was then that I realised that I was in love with him and couldn`t believe the change. He doesn`t know this to this day that I love him. He did say at the time that he thought we were getting too close so he backed off. I had to go away after this happened and he text me a few times but I ignored these. I then came back and I found out that while I was away, he shagged another gal. He said that he did this because he didn`t think that I wanted anything to do with him. This affected me so badly that I wanted to physically be sick. I know that I am a hypocrite because I had a boyfriend but I never have felt so much pain over a man. I then find out that the reason why he had backed of was because an ex-girlfriend of his was back on the scene and he said that she was a psycho and was doing his head in. Why would this have affected his actions towards me if this was the case? Again, it felt like I was kicked in the stomach but I never, ever showed him how this was affecting me - I couldn`t. How could I? We stayed in touch and I thought that I just have to let him go. I stopped texting, emailing and talking to him for about a month now. Then I get an urgent email from him saying that he wants to meet up with me and I tried to ignore it - I did for a while but then caved in. I then get told that he is in another relationship and he wanted to see me one last time. He was going to desperate lengths to contact me - even going to my house when I wasn`t in - lots of texts, emails etc etc. I thought that the fact that he wanted to see me one last time was a damned cheek. How dare he? I told him that I couldn`t do this because it would be harder for me in the long-run if I was to see him again and watch him leave for good. He sent me a reply but I have yet to read it I am too scared because I think that it will be closure and although I know this in my head, my heart can`t seem to handle it. I love this guy and never told him. I actually told him a couple of months ago that he was my booty call just like I was to him because I thought that this is what he wanted to hear but he responded really sarcastically. I know that it is too late now and I really wish that he didn't pursue me because I wouldn`t be going through this pain right now. I am no longer with my boyfriend because it wasn't fair on him that I was thinking of someone else. Please help!! Thanks
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