tornandmarried Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 well...heres an update from my crazy marriage situation....3 month waiting period is over for the divorce....i called her up today asking when she wants to go to the notary and sign papers, next monday she says....but anyway she is now 5 months pregnant to other man having a seemigly difficult time with him....but im pretty worried she might try to claim the baby as mine...she said shes not but i dunno...she told me today shes giving custody to her mother cuz she just cant do it.....any advice on how to handle this???....weve been on very low contact, we talk briefly every few weeks or so and we get along fine but shes been begging for a second chance alot...and i should add, i started seeing a new girl (1 month after filing) and my wife tried to contact her saying shes my wife and thats never going to change, amoung other strange things and signed it mrs.cramer...keep in mind we only been married 6.5 months now and barely even talk or spend anytime together...do i need a lawyer? an exorcist? what??
imagine Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 An affair within the year of been married is weird. Neither of you show commitment to the marriage. She may be jealous that she does not have a plan b situation to run to. Get out. Take your vows seriously before you marry again!
marqueemoon4 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Wait, what? She's pregnant with another mans child? After 6months of marriage to you? And she wants you back? Oh man, run.
mark982 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 run like your azz is on fire. this gals just going to give you nothing but grief. do a disappearing act.
seibert253 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Placate and stall, but get her to sign. Once she signs, it's like she never existed.
YellowShark Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Get her to sign and run like hell! This woman is toxic and will ruin you.
Author tornandmarried Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 yeah shes out to ruin my life...and better hers in the process...im so scared..i thinks she just wants to start a family with this guiy and trap me into paying all the child support...but hopefully shell sign soon...maybe suicide is a reasonable option...her affair started within days of marriage...i think shes using this other guy for sperm too but hell get his in the future from this vile, insane, parasitic women from hell... i didnt even do anything wrong to her!!! just we was growing apart and she wants to ruin me so i cant move on and find happiness
carhill Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Personally I'd retain a lawyer and file for an annulment on the grounds of infidelity, abandonment and extreme mental cruelty. I don't know if that's possible in your jurisdiction or not. You should also seek legal advice regarding your options and responsibilities wrt her pregnancy and any potential scenarios regarding the disposition of the child. You appear to be quite aware of how formidable she could/can be, so cover your bases. She might sign and she might not sign but, if she does sign, it's what those papers spell out legally that controls, along with relevant statute. Be clear on both. My sympathies...
Author tornandmarried Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 yeah very true...wish i talked to a lwyer first before anything..but im really broke and wanted to act fast...i can still talk to a lawyer tho...maybe a delay in signing is a good thing, time to think about it and look into it...but when i talk to her she seems really sincere, like she not out to screw me over or anything...but who knows whats real/manipulation
carhill Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 A clear sign of sincerity is the willingness to compromise over contentious details. A mindset of working towards win-win. As long as everything is going her way, of course she appears sincere; that's easy. It's when disagreements arise that true sincerity shines through. Legal aid is available. Contact a local law school. Ours had a program for free mediation and document prep, leaving it to the parties to have the finished product reviewed by a paid lawyer or not before filing. Look into it. Check the self-help desk at the courthouse or ask about self-help divorce programs in your community. Lots of options. Overcoming fear is the key. Don't sign anything until you're clear on what it means. This is your future.
Author tornandmarried Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 well..wife sends me an email saying shes never going to give me a divorce, she doesnt want to be with me and doesnt want to give me what i want......what should i do now? can i change the no fault divorce to a fault divorce?? can i still sure for adultry, emotional abuse, all that??? if not will we be divorced after a time perioed on the no fault without her signature???
carhill Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 (edited) You can still go no fault but you'll likely need a lawyer and petition the court for a hearing if your estranged wife is not being cooperative and you wish to legally divorce. There's also the matter of child custody and/or paternity. My sympathies. ETA that, in my jurisdiction, suit for default judgment can only occur if the respondent did not file a response with the court during the period of response. In that matter, technically, the petitioner can receive a judgment without the cooperation and/or agreement of the respondent. Edited January 10, 2011 by carhill
Author tornandmarried Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 i think i wanna go fault, i need to expose what shes doing.....can i change the filing status??? i want to set myself up for a good paternity fraud case
carhill Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 OK, crunch the numbers with a lawyer and get started. You're talking about a complex legal action so it's far beyond pro se and self help. As an example, in an unmarried custody issue, my best friend's nephew has spent over 50K in legal fees over the last six years. His son is nearly a teenager now. Strap in and be prepared for a long and expensive road. Hope it works out.
Author tornandmarried Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 geezz that sux....its hard to believe a woman could put me through all this...i could undwerstand if i was some kinda wife beater alcoholic jerk wad but i was so good to her wow not that i didnt make little mistakes here and there but all this mess??...my fault tho,im the dumbas that married her so cant complain, law is what it is...her little manipualtions and promises to be faithfull didnt help either...but it is what it is, help make me a stronger person in the long run
D78 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 tornandmarried, I don't know what the law is in your jurisdiction, but in some jurisdictions you are the father of that child (even though you're not) because you were married when she got pregnant. Think about the cost of legal advice in this sense - will it be cheaper than 18 years of child support? Almost certainly. Have your papers prepared (as review of papers can be less expensive than drafting papers) and have specific questions to ask when you meet with a lawyer. Absolutely find out what you need to do to contest paternity of the child. It may not be an issue in your jurisdiction, but if it is, you won't regret finding out before you sign anything. I'm sorry that this post probably sounds really cold - I just wanted to give you that head's up. Good luck.
Author tornandmarried Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 im goign to see a lawyer friday......she absolutly refuses to sign, even though she doesnt want to be married to me...she already put "engaged" on her and her boyfriends facebook....but i need to fight paternity...hopefully i can sue her for fraud of some sort.....i think im pretty much screwed with the child support thing, just gotta see how many babies she can make in 3 years
Author tornandmarried Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 i talked to a lawyer today, he told me to have paperwork write up to contest paternity and get dna test done as soon as the baby is born and ill be in the clear.....after that im having teh papers served to her and she can sit on it and sign whenever she wants if not im filing a petition for divorce in june of 2012 and might go to court, with excellent chances of wining....just gotta stay on top of her making babies till were divorced + 1 year....guess she married me so id have to pay legal fees to get rid of her
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