Author SilverLining Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 Oh, I attempted to end the conversation myself at first. And after awhile I stopped acting very interested. When the guy left the first time, I tried to make reference to my date that he talked a bit too long to us, but my date didn't seem to think anything was wrong with that. I was not so irritated the first time, the man attempted to end the conversation several times himself but was apparently unable to. My date remained captivated by hearing about vitamins and how 'different' Jewish people are, which really pissed me off if you want to know the truth. The guy worked as a photographer, and part of getting his number had to do with the fact that my date had a friend who was trying to break into the business. I guess I feel that my date should have said something because I had already attempted, and I was no longer really responding so it was more that the man was talking to HIM.
Author SilverLining Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 Oh! Haha thanks for the compliment Frisky. I don't want it to seem that since he's the guy he needed to end things. I did try at first. But, I do admit I like a strong man and I prefer a man who can take charge of things like that. I can't imagine any other guy I have dated who would be unable or unwilling to graciously end a conversation.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Oh, I attempted to end the conversation myself at first. And after awhile I stopped acting very interested. When the guy left the first time, I tried to make reference to my date that he talked a bit too long to us, but my date didn't seem to think anything was wrong with that. I was not so irritated the first time, the man attempted to end the conversation several times himself but was apparently unable to. My date remained captivated by hearing about vitamins and how 'different' Jewish people are, which really pissed me off if you want to know the truth. The guy worked as a photographer, and part of getting his number had to do with the fact that my date had a friend who was trying to break into the business. I guess I feel that my date should have said something because I had already attempted, and I was no longer really responding so it was more that the man was talking to HIM. He should have. Anyone who inserts himself into a situation like that and doesn't sense that he's potentially intruding is either nuts or very socially illiterate--either way he's just indulging himself without consideration. I wouldn't care if he had a cure for cancer, there's nothing so captivating to take my interest away from my first date with someone. Holy smokes. If he couldn't nudge this guy to shut up--which he probably couldn't have since the geezer seemed on a bender--he should have asked you if you wanted to leave at least--perhaps go somewhere else. Your date apparently is short of the ability to "sense" things too. Knock knock, hello, duh, whatever!!!!!
aisle_seat Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Hmm, tough call since you don't know your meet-up guy well and don't know if he's prone to easy distraction or was being polite. But taking everything you've said at face value it does seem as though he wasn't nearly as attentive as he should have been. Personally, after some conversation with the old guy to be polite, I'd have looked at my watch and said suggested to you we get going "to dinner" or some other thing that gets us out of there so we can talk without insulting the older gentleman. I don't care how interesting the old guy was, your date was supposed to be about getting to know each other and he clearly didn't do what was necessary to make that happen. Not a take-charge guy. If that bothers you, perhaps best to move on.
br0ken_w0lf Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 If he contacts me and apologizes then I would consider giving it another chance. If not, then I guess I know to not schedule any more dates at that particular venue! I was going to suggest the same thing. Assuming he contacts you again, if the second sentence out of his mouth isn't the beginning of an apology and some sense of recognition that how he behaved was insensitive, then... next! Having said that, the whole ending where he and the elderly man are walking together with you behind? Maybe it's best you don't hear from him...
welikeincrowds Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 How is it horrible? Do you think history is a stupid subject? Yeah, that's exactly it, musemaj11. I just really hate all history, that's the real issue here.
Author SilverLining Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 That's hilarious Welikeincrowds! Yeah, the whole 'them walking down the street with me trailing behind' really got to me. It was clear to me at that point that I was just a 3rd wheel. What REALLY made me mad is that I was asked out for that night by someone else and I had to tell him I had other plans.
aisle_seat Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 In addition, based on what you said, I'm sure your body language and facial expression conveyed your uneasiness with the situation. Your date should have read that and moved to firmly, yet politely, disengage from the older gentleman's conversation.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 If I were having a hamburger nearby and saw all of this I would be hard pressed not to stick my two coppers in and say to the old guy, hey would you STFU and let this couple get aquainted. Just STFU. Jesus Horatio Christ, man.
zengirl Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Oh, I attempted to end the conversation myself at first. And after awhile I stopped acting very interested. When the guy left the first time, I tried to make reference to my date that he talked a bit too long to us, but my date didn't seem to think anything was wrong with that. I was not so irritated the first time, the man attempted to end the conversation several times himself but was apparently unable to. My date remained captivated by hearing about vitamins and how 'different' Jewish people are, which really pissed me off if you want to know the truth. The guy worked as a photographer, and part of getting his number had to do with the fact that my date had a friend who was trying to break into the business. I guess I feel that my date should have said something because I had already attempted, and I was no longer really responding so it was more that the man was talking to HIM. It sounded like you'd already given it a try and he was encouraging the man in the earlier post, which is why I thought the onus was on him to get rid of the guy. Not because he's male. So, I don't see an issue with this.
BlueRidgeMTs Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Perhaps he just wasnt all that into you... Even though the conversation you two WERE able to have went well, perhaps he was just being polite to YOU. Maybe he didnt hear bells and whistles and so didnt mind letting his attention wander elsewhere. I can't see how someone goes on a FIRST date, and sits down with someone for a bit, and determines he feels a spark there, then proceeds to carry on a conversation with someone else, thus making his date feel like a third wheel. If I had sat down with someone, and was attracted to them physically, and after some short conversation, I was yearning to know more, there is no way I'd sit and let someone else take up my attention from that person. He could have politely disengaged from the elderly gent. Either he was not that into you..or he has the most horrible manners ever. NEXT.
tinktronik Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 (edited) You know, my SO is guilty of the same thing. We got out to some cafe and his conversation will be monopolized by some random person. It did not happen when we were first dating. I don't really mind so much, I plan ahead and bring a book. But a first date? Really? I was going to tell you to maybe give the guy a second chance... well, until you explained that he walked the old guy to his car and left you fending to yourself. No second chance. Actually when I told my SO about your date he blushed b/c he knows he's guilty of the same thing. Then I told him about walking the old man to his car and he said "Oh my god, no way! No second date." Edited January 5, 2011 by tinktronik added impression
Author SilverLining Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 It's not that he sat down with me and didn't like my conversation. It was more that he showed up, went to get some tea, this elderly man was talking to ME because he thought I was cute and was trying to figure out if I was European. The guy sat down, and the elderly man started talking to us both. We hadn't exchanged more than a hello. Sure, he could have not been into me. That hasn't happened to me that much but it's definitely a possibility. I'm cute, large-chested with an hourglass figure. I usually have the opposite reaction when it comes to guys, but I'm not going to discount the possibility. If that's the case, so what? Lots of other guys are interested, so I'm not exactly upset about it. But even if the case WAS that he wasn't into me, you'd think he'd pay some attention to me. I'm in no way crude, ugly, mean, or unintelligent. He asked me out, he could have sat through the date and at best we could have been friends or at worst never seen each other again. This says more about HIM than it does me. I've heard of guys dating some foul women and they still behave in a respectful, gentlemanly fashion.
OceanGirl Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 It's not that he sat down with me and didn't like my conversation. It was more that he showed up, went to get some tea, this elderly man was talking to ME because he thought I was cute and was trying to figure out if I was European. The guy sat down, and the elderly man started talking to us both. We hadn't exchanged more than a hello. Sure, he could have not been into me. That hasn't happened to me that much but it's definitely a possibility. I'm cute, large-chested with an hourglass figure. I usually have the opposite reaction when it comes to guys, but I'm not going to discount the possibility. If that's the case, so what? Lots of other guys are interested, so I'm not exactly upset about it. But even if the case WAS that he wasn't into me, you'd think he'd pay some attention to me. I'm in no way crude, ugly, mean, or unintelligent. He asked me out, he could have sat through the date and at best we could have been friends or at worst never seen each other again. This says more about HIM than it does me. I've heard of guys dating some foul women and they still behave in a respectful, gentlemanly fashion. Sure, I beleive that you are attractive. So am I. Still, when it comes to online - some men weren't into me after seeing/meeting me. They are in the minority but it does happen. For all you know he has a preference for flat chested, petite women, I really don't think that a guy that is attracted to you would act that way. I don't think he will be calling/contacting you.
AverageJoe Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Sounds like you were not getting the validation you were looking for.
aisle_seat Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Regardless of your physical attributes and what he does or does not find attractive, it still seems to me he was at best clueless and at worst rude. This was a first date the purpose of which was to get acquainted. Even if he was immediately uninterested in you, it doesn't excuse basically ignoring you for 4 hours. Write him off and hope for someone more interested in you than random passers-by next time.
Author SilverLining Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 Exactly OceanGirl, that's fine if he's not into me, every person has their type. And AverageJoe, I don't need validation from someone I don't even know. I have a better sense of myself than that. My point is that no matter how unattractive or uninteresting he may or may not have found me, he ought to have been more respectful. He did call me an hour ago. I didn't answer, and he didn't leave a message. I'm done.
paleblue Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Why???? He sounds like a tool. Either he has no social sense or he's just a dick. I mean I can understand him wanting to be polite, but surely he could have been more sensitive to his date's feelings. I get the sense a relationship with this guy would be miserable. He seems completely oblivious and/or selfish. This. yeah, being polite for a bit is one thing, but 4 hours?? i cant believe you lasted thru it that long.
KraftDinner Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 But THEN, my meet-up man started walking along the street with the elderly man. His car was parked a bit away, he needed to go a bit down the street, then turn left. So he walked with the elderly man until his turn, chatting. And I'm seriously just trailing behind. This is when I got seriously annoyed...really? Even AFTER the 4 hours??? SO then he was turning left and said goodbye to the man, but actually that was the wrong direction for me. I was out of patience and not about to walk him to his car so I could double back to get home in the cold. No way. This is the part that is really unforgiveable, in my mind. There is NO reason he couldn't have, after 4 hours, said to the old guy, "Okay, it's been nice chatting with you, have a good night, I'm going to walk OP home now." Honestly it sounds like he wasn't that interested in you.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Exactly OceanGirl, that's fine if he's not into me, every person has their type. And AverageJoe, I don't need validation from someone I don't even know. I have a better sense of myself than that. My point is that no matter how unattractive or uninteresting he may or may not have found me, he ought to have been more respectful. He did call me an hour ago. I didn't answer, and he didn't leave a message. I'm done. You must not have been wearing what you have on in your avatar that night. If you did, he's gay.
AverageJoe Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 You must not have been wearing what you have on in your avatar that night. If you did, he's gay. haha Easy with the slurping there big fella - if that in fact is her in the av she is not all that. Besides. You have seen the Myspace Angels havent you?
musemaj11 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 This was pretty much the conversation of the elderly man..."You like jhnhdhf? (What? We can't understand him with his thick accent!) You like jdhjbdbf, I say if you go to the doctor for them you be ANIMAL. I tell you. No, I'm no joking. You should take, do you take? You don't take? TAKE! Get ammonia shot too! It make you ANIMAL!" I actually think that I got the conversation better than my date did since I lived in a foreign country for awhile and got very good at understanding broken English. I've also taught English to foreign businessmen. Lol, I was giggling like an idiot at 3 in the morning while reading that. :laugh: Okay, provided your side of the story is the truth, I have to say you sound like a nice woman. Im sorry this happened to you. I think the guy isnt inherently a bad guy, but he does sound like a guy with low awareness. You better off find someone else more considerate.
SmileFace Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 haha Easy with the slurping there big fella - if that in fact is her in the av she is not all that. Besides. You have seen the Myspace Angels havent you? Haha that link is FUN-NAAA!!! lol
Author SilverLining Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 It is me AverageJoe. I'm wondering what issues YOU might have that you feel the need to 'take me down a peg'. I'm willing to bet you are less than 'all that' yourself. If you think I'm offended, you don't have to worry, I'm not. Mostly, I feel sorry for someone who feels the need to be such a jerk in an online forum.
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