rainiejae Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Hi all... So I am new here & newly in a LDR. It seems most of you have been doing this a while & met before the distance came in to the picture so I feel sort of out of place. I met my guy on 12/13 on facebook of all places. He is a fb friend of my cousins is how we found each other. She had posted a video & he & I started commenting, next thing I know I'm checking out his profile (yum) & we are flirting back and forth. I normally do not accept friend requests from people I don't know in RL but when I saw his request I jumped on it. We immediately hit it off and started chatting about anything & everything, discovering we are like two peas in a pod. I don't date online so never would have expected this but by the end of a week, I was head over heels in love with him. Next thing I know he is telling me he is in shock but...he's in love with me! I was so happy to learn this. I am 40, he is 35 so we both have life experience and not being goofy about it all. Only problem, I live in Seattle & he lives in Boston! Oh geez, the unfairness of it all. By 12/24, I was buying my ticket to Boston & I leave this Friday!!! We talk everyday. We text during the day & early evening & then he calls every night & we talk anywhere from 3-7 hours with never a dull moment or awkward silence. I have never had a "list" of what a guy has to be like as I find that to be ridiculous but IF I was to have a list he would have everything checked off on it and have added things to check off I never would have thought of. Anyone who knows me knows that I am far too analytical & an over thinker to do a LDR & it's not in my personality to fall in love so fast, especially with someone I've never met. For what ever reason though, I don't have a single concern about this. My only worry...having to come back home & it breaking my heart to leave him. We have already decided that after this visit, one of us is moving. Neither of us cares if it's us that moves so the only thing we will have to figure out is who's packing! Anyhow, I just wanted to share my happiness with others that are in an LDR & welcome any & all comments. My friends are 100% supportive so I couldn't be happier about that fact too. Whoo-hoo....just 3 more days!!!
folieadeux Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 I can feel your excitement through the computer screen! Congrats on finding love and best of luck on your first visit. I don't think any of us ever planned on finding that special someone so far away, but I personally think it's all worth it. I think that's also wonderful that you have such a great support system in your friends; that will serve you well when you come back for sure. My SO lives in GA and I live in NJ. He just left yesterday and I'm torn between being sad and over the moon for our next visit. Saying goodbye is never easy, but I believe that's all par for the course with these things. It will always be difficult being apart, but you'll just settle into a routine that works for you both until you can be together for good.
Author rainiejae Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 Thank you so much for the well wishes! I know this is all still so new but the distance is already killing us (not in a we can't handle it way)! That is why we talk so much & something else I do to make him feel like he's here is I send him a picture a day. "Look babe, now we are downtown" or "Hey, we are just playing with the cats"... We also do things like watch music video's together. So there are little ways we make it feel like we are closer but I hate not looking in to his eyes. We both know we can't stand being apart so our goal is one of us moves no later than May. I know me though & I'll make it happen sooner. My friends have shocked me! I was so afraid to tell them thinking they would try to be a voice of reason that I don't need but instead they are as excited for me as I am. I should have known better than to doubt them. I know leaving is going to rip me apart & I feel sorry for the people who will be on the plane back with me...
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 Geez, wow... I approve of the amount of time and 'energy' put forth in interacting with him beFORE you meet. I would suggest that you each do everything possible to describe details as to what you'll be wearing and carrying upon first encounter. Also, decide in advance that a big, giant hug (or whatever you choose) will be the way you greet one another that first time. It could just help so much that both minds are going to encounter as near to exactly what they've been anticipating, so as to avoid any rough edges from lies, misleadings, or just wrong expectations. Aside from that, I am encouraged by your story and your excitement at the upcoming trip. The COMFORT you will share with him very soon could be unlike anything else you've ever felt before. There is just something unique about letting someone into your MIND first, and them having to show the attention span to get there, before only then meeting in person. Good luck !!!
Author rainiejae Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 Thank you onlineguy! I know what he will be driving & we have a firm plan. Yes, lol!! We have already talked about the greeting & I will throw my arms around him & he is going to twirl me around & land me with a kiss. 48 hours & I will be on the plane!!!! As far as let downs or lies, we are both the type of people "I am just me, nothing more nothing less". No false build ups of what to expect or who each other is. Nothing has been glamorized which is why I fell for him. I don't fall for people for what they have, I fall for people for who they are. I feel like a 5 y/o just before Christmas!
folieadeux Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Thank you onlineguy! I know what he will be driving & we have a firm plan. Yes, lol!! We have already talked about the greeting & I will throw my arms around him & he is going to twirl me around & land me with a kiss. 48 hours & I will be on the plane!!!! As far as let downs or lies, we are both the type of people "I am just me, nothing more nothing less". No false build ups of what to expect or who each other is. Nothing has been glamorized which is why I fell for him. I don't fall for people for what they have, I fall for people for who they are. I feel like a 5 y/o just before Christmas! You and your SO sound so much like my boyfriend and I. It's good to see so much excitment and happiness around here for a change; it can get to be all too much at times.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Thank you onlineguy! I know what he will be driving & we have a firm plan. Yes, lol!! We have already talked about the greeting & I will throw my arms around him & he is going to twirl me around & land me with a kiss. 48 hours & I will be on the plane!!!! As far as let downs or lies, we are both the type of people "I am just me, nothing more nothing less". No false build ups of what to expect or who each other is. Nothing has been glamorized which is why I fell for him. I don't fall for people for what they have, I fall for people for who they are. I feel like a 5 y/o just before Christmas! I didn't mean sinister type lies... I meant, if you are giant-tall, covered with yellow feathers, and have huge, webbed orange feet, then describe every iota of that to the person you'll meet. If he in turn is all green, with darker areas around the eyes, and he lives in a garbage can, then he should make every iota of that clear to you, so nothing will be the tiniest surprise to you. If he wants to surprise you with dinner at a nice place, then fine, THAT kind of surprise works... but do what you can to better prepare your minds for the comfort that you so dearly want.
Author rainiejae Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 You and your SO sound so much like my boyfriend and I. It's good to see so much excitment and happiness around here for a change; it can get to be all too much at times. I agree, I notice most of the posts here are really gloomy. I was thinking maybe happiness wasn't something that belonged here but I am too happy to not reach out to others in my position. I of course have the days where I am pouty because I want to be with him but I trust him on every level so I don't worry about the "what if's", they serve no purpose other than to destroy all that is good. HAHAHA...I was given a midnight his time curfew for our call last night & after 4 hours...it was 2AM his time! I love that when we talk that 4 hours felt like maybe 20 minutes. Less than 24 hours and I will be on the plane. Oh geez...I am so nervous-excited-overwhelmed & anxious. Not because of him or being together, that will be golden but the thrill of the unknown... I must be absolutely nuts to be falling in love and traveling 3000 miles!! She who is happily insane... BTW onlineguy- I knew what you meant & it's all good!
aisle_seat Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 rainiejae - I am so happy for you! How amazing to connect so quickly online. I do know something about that - my SO and I fell in love via email over the course of a month or so and finally met in person a little less than 4 months after meeting online for the first time. We never even spoke on the phone until about a month before she flew out here. And let me tell you...that first meeting was magical...as has every visit been since. We are in a similar geographic situation as you...I am east coast and she is west coast. Unfortunately unlike you, we will not be able to live together for quite a while but we have definite plans. We were caught quite off guard at falling in love...we are both in our 40s and neither of us had been looking. We originally met on a website we shared a common interest in and not on a dating site. It was very uncharacteristic for each of us to have fallen so fast. We were both a little nervous the first time we met face to face as we also had never exchanged pictures...just descriptions. But upon meeting we were instantly physically attracted to each other, complimenting our already strong mental attraction, and have been ever since. We have now been together over 18 months and have visited each other 4 times. Our next visit is in March, however we are in constant contact with texts, emails and phone calls every day. Best of luck to you! I am very excited for you and hope you will report back and let us know how everything went.
creighton0123 Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I agree, I notice most of the posts here are really gloomy. I was thinking maybe happiness wasn't something that belonged here but I am too happy to not reach out to others in my position. I must be absolutely nuts to be falling in love and traveling 3000 miles!! Well, if you want to avoid too much gloom, you won't find all that much from those of us with 100+ posts here. If you become a regular, chances are you'll find many of us perfectly content in long distance relationships and managing quite well. Have fun on your trip :-D
folieadeux Posted January 7, 2011 Posted January 7, 2011 I agree, I notice most of the posts here are really gloomy. I was thinking maybe happiness wasn't something that belonged here but I am too happy to not reach out to others in my position. I of course have the days where I am pouty because I want to be with him but I trust him on every level so I don't worry about the "what if's", they serve no purpose other than to destroy all that is good. I couldn't agree more. Being in an LDR is hard enough; might as well make the best of it and be as supportive as you can to others in your shoes. This time tomorrow, you'll be together.
Author rainiejae Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 The trip was amazing & I am so in love!!!! We clicked instantly. Complete magic we thought it would be... It broke my heart to get on that plane home, how to cope? He asked me to marry him & I said YES!!!! He is now planning his move here and will be here April/May... However, I am so sad to not be in his arms now. How do you guys bare the distance?
aisle_seat Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Fantastic!! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! Getting on the plane to come home is always heartbreaking and the few days afterward are a huge let-down from the happiness and excitement of your time together. All I can suggest is staying in contact (phone, emails, etc) as much as possible. However, you have so much to look forward to and, compared to most of us on here, a relatively a short time to wait until you are together permanently. Relish the feeling of knowing your time is coming soon and busy yourself with whatever preparation is necessary for when he moves out to be with you. It's only a few months!
folieadeux Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Oh my gosh, CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bunny: Glad you had such a great trip. The coping is hard but as aisle said, you have so much to look forward to and plan for; your time will fly by especially quick...and then you'll be together...forever. Best of luck to you both!!!
60Kxo Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I have to say, I am happy for you rainiejae! Truly magical! I met my GF online on December 9th. Neither of us were even looking. As a matter of fact I had set up a new singles meetup group for the location I am moving to this summer. I really enjoyed the meetup groups in the Seattle area so I thought I would create one in my new location to see if there was any activity there. She volunteered to help me since she is there every other weekend and would be moving back there this summer (her home town). After her contact via e-mail she asked me to call her to explain how to do something. We started chatting off-topic and then a day or two later she text me to tell me she thought she liked me. We're both 45, so we're not two kids. Like you said, I've never really had a check-list of things I would want in a woman, but she would certainly fill them all and then some. We talk for hours on the phone, text message, e-mail, FB, and video chat all the time. We can't get enough of each other. We are very thankful that we have gotten to know each other intellectually first because we are both very physically attracted to each other. I believe I can feel the pheromones through the phone and video chat. By the second week of us talking she threw out the "Sleepless in Seattle" type meeting. She said she wanted to fly here on February 13th and meet me under the Space Needle at midnight on Valentine's day. I told her I didn't want such a short visit with her, so I convinced her to fly in on the 12th and spend the night at my apartment and then we would spend the day in Seattle and be there on Valentine's Day. She will fly out that morning before I have to go back to work. I'm so hopeful for a magical visit as well. 13 days for us! The good thing is that we are both moving at the same time this summer and will be together. That is so comforting to the both of us.
sammyd Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Rainiejae, that is just soooooooo cute!!! Whoever said romance was dead??!! This post has made me smile:) Good luck to both of you!
Author rainiejae Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Fun 60Kx0!!! How wonderful for you as well!!!! Well I decided not being together at Valentine's was NOT okay so I am flying back to Boston 2/9-2/16. So excited to see my baby!!! And what is even better is he has his ONE WAY ticket to move here & that is 3/30!!!! Two months from today we'll never have to worry about being apart again! I can hardly wait. Then we decided we will get married either summer or fall at the very latest. It's both our first & only marriage & since we are not traditional we are going to Vegas & because every wonderful date we have is on a Wednesday were getting married on a Wednesday! I am the happiest lady every & can't wait to be with my baby.
lonely79 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 awww what a wonderful story!!! so happy for you! it makes me happy to know that true love really does exist!
Whatshername Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Your post was so refreshing and inspiring..............after an ugly LDR breakup, it instills me with hope for the future! I am very happy for you and wish you all of the best!
aerogurl87 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Somehow I missed this thread earlier, but CONGRATS!!! April/May isn't too far away and I'm happy you're happy and found love. I'm moving to be with my boyfriend in a month and he lives in Canada (I'm in North Carolina). Never would've seen any of this coming, but here I am. In love with my boyfriend, in love with his country, and moving somewhere completely new in a little over a month. Funny how life turns out, eh?
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