wish it was a dream Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 It's been almost 2 months now since he dumped me in a text message. He refuses to talk to me at all, in fact he acts like I never existed. Last month he tagged me in a video on youtube blaming everything on me and calling me horrible names. He never showed this side in our 2.5 year relationship. When we were together he spent a lot of money on me and was stressed about getting his finances together and now since he ended it he has bought a new laptop, t.v., clothes, and many new games for his ps3. Why would he spend his money like this when he was moaning to me about getting himself together financially? His actions really baffle me. I think about him all the time and I just wish I could get inside his head and figure it all out. He was telling me he was bored of it all and needed a break and then 3 days later ended things entirely. We were each other's first loves, first everything and best friends so how can he just cut me out of his life like I was never there? There is so much hurt involved. Don't get me wrong there were issues in our relationship there was a lot of fighting towards the end because he was ignoring me and would get so irritated with me at the littlest of things. I blame myself for all of it, I should have been more positive and a better woman. Why I'm here is asking what I should do? Should I contact him in anyway or should I just continue on in this hurt feeling like I will never love again? I don't know what to do and I don't want to regret it. He was a really good man when we were together he took care of me and every way and put me first that's why I don't understand how it all changed. I foolishly looked at his facebook and saw a photo of him and another girl from his work and he has this huge smile on his face. I keep getting flashbacks from this picture and it makes me stomach toss and turn. What should I do? Give up on this man who I wanted to spend my life with or try to get him back somehow? Is it all a lost cause? Help!
tinktronik Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Give up and stop trying to contact him. He has moved on and it's time for you to focus on yourself and healing.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Sorry but it IS a lost cause. But consider how nasty he is in handling it. This is a dimension of him you haven't seen. I don't know how he takes it back if he ever feels sorry and I don't know how you overlook it. This will all bother you for quite a while--that's natural. But don't make it worse by looking at his FB or w/e. You have to work hard yourself to get over this and move on--there's no having it both ways. Consider that this does happen to many many people somewhere in their lives. Now unfortunately it's come to you. You'll survive if you try. And maybe you'll be better off. Ya never know. Be well.
Author wish it was a dream Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 It is really bothering me it's been two months but I don't feel much better. My heart is so broken and butchered by this so called man. I would have never imagined he had this evil side to him. I really do need to stop looking at his facebook it makes my wounds that much bigger. How can he live with himself? It just hurts even more knowing he is having a good time with no guilt and enjoying every second of his freedom while I am miserable as can be. I never knew there was this kind of pain, it's opened my eyes and music has a whole different meaning now. Thanks for your advice. I could never overlook this too much pain, and now I wonder if I ever find someone else how will I ever trust him? Goodness I'm a mess.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 If you're unhappy and worried about coming out of it, there's no shame in seeking professional help. Some of us don't find out that we have a tendency to keep amplifying our own hurts and frustrations until we have something hurtful happen. A therapist and psychiatrist will help you understand the lines between things--how much is reason to be hurt and how much is you perpetuating or amplifying the hurt. Maybe you can reason your way out of it alone but maybe you will continue to have a hard time. No one is looking and keeping score on you. If you want to end the misery sooner than later, consider some therapy for opinions and options. You don't have to tell anyone.
Author wish it was a dream Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 You are right, I think by my own doing I make my suffering worse. I think about it way too much I don't know how to get it off my mind. I think of the man I did know for 2.5 years and how nice he treated me that's why it's hard to come to terms with this new, mean, heartless guy he has become. I had to read the whole breakup on a cellphone screen. It's so cold and impersonal, how can I associate that with the sweet guy who loved me? In the video he said he found someone better than me and to just leave him alone. He wanted to be rid of me. It's so evil. I continue to relive all the hurt. I want to know how to stop hurting and start healing. Unfortunately with love you can't turn it on and off or I would have turned it off two months ago. Will I ever stop loving him, I ask that because I hear people say " I will always love him/her." That scares me to think 5 years from now I will still love him, because I don't want to.
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