sweetlikelemons Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I am a 25 year old MW having an affair with a MM. I have know the MM for about 15 years we went to the same schools and hung out with the same people. We were never really close friends and nothing ever happened between us until about 4 years ago before he got married. I have been married for 3 years to my highschool sweetheart and the MM's "good friend". My husband and I used to have an "understanding" regarding different physical partners. Four years ago my husband and I agreed that I would give the MM an oral favor for a wedding gift. Since that time thoughout the years other sexual expoits have gone on between the MM and I with my husbands knowledge and permission except intercourse. This led to the MM and I doing things including eventually intercourse without my husbands permission. What started as a pruley physical relationship is slowly progressing to more and it is scaring the heck out of me. The MM and I try to never really talk about what is going on between us. We try to act like nothing is different until we meet up again. He has tried to start a conversation about what is going on between us emotionally, but he started it with " I am failing in love with you." He sent sent this as a text message while we were playfully arguing and sitting by a fire with my husband. I was scared and acted like a child and ignored his message. That was four months ago and neither one of us has brought it back up. In the last four months our "relationship" has gotten pretty intense. We are finding ways to meet up more often and he his coming over atleast 4 days a week to "hang out with my husband". He is starting to do work around the house that my husband doesnt have time to do or just wont do. What started out as a fun physical outlet that my husband agreed with has turned into lying, cheating and just plain complicated. I am not sure what my feelings are towards the MM and I am just plain confused. I know that the right thing morally to do would be to tell my husband what is going on and end things with the MM. And then just see where my life goes after that. But human beings are selfish including myself. Advice?
YellowShark Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Four years ago my husband and I agreed that I would give the MM an oral favor for a wedding gift. You and your husband need serious counseling if that is what you think is an appropriate wedding gift. No disrespect intended. BTW what does MM's wife think about all this? Does she even know that her husband is banging you regularly?
Author sweetlikelemons Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 BTW what does MM's wife think about all this? Does she even know that her husband is banging you regularly? No she does not anything about what has or is going on.
YellowShark Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 No she does not anything about what has or is going on. Lucky her.
whichwayisup Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Messed up situation is exactly what it is. I'm not judging or anything but you, your husband and MM are playing a sick game on the expense of MM's innocent wife. She has no clue about the bj wedding gift, no clue about you and her husband fooling around with your husband's permission and both your husband and MM's wife are in the dark about you having sex with MM. Come clean with your husband and I suggest your MM tell his wife what he's been doing. Fact that now you two have feelings for one another and have taken advantage of the arrangement your husband allowed you to have with MM, it's gone overboard and now people are going to get hurt. Or, let your husband have sex with MM's wife.
YellowShark Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Messed up situation is exactly what it is. I'm not judging or anything but you, your husband and MM are playing a sick game on the expense of MM's innocent wife. She has no clue about the bj wedding gift, no clue about you and her husband fooling around with your husband's permission and both your husband and MM's wife are in the dark about you having sex with MM. My sentiments exactly. sweetlikelemons and her husband are "f"-ing with MM's wife's life. The poor woman has no idea those three are deciding all this sexual stuff behind her back. Meanwhile on top of that betrayal sweetlikelemons and MM have gone way past what sweetlikelemons and her husband agreed to. It's all so toxic. I really feel awful for MM's wife because when she finds out A) sweetlikelemons and her husband gave MM a BJ for a wedding present and B) MM is banging sweetlikelemons regularily she will be absolutely and completely devastated. I don't give a crap about sweetlikelemons husband because he's simply getting what he agreed to... a swingers lifestyle.
Ellin Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 I was scared and acted like a child and ignored his message. That was four months ago and neither one of us has brought it back up. In the last four months our "relationship" has gotten pretty intense. Maybe it would be a good idea to actually start talking to your MM about the whole situation and your feelings and see what happens. Then at least a few things will be clearer. Maybe it will help you decide what to do next - finish with him, continue on whatever terms or leave your spouses and get together properly?
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 I know that the right thing morally to do would be to tell my husband what is going on and end things with the MM. And then just see where my life goes after that. But human beings are selfish including myself. Advice? wow... just wow. Your husband seems so passive that it's sickening. I'd be either divorcing you or watching you like a hawk! What kind of advice do you want? You clearly have mental issues that go WAY beyond the situation at hand. If I did the things you describe yourself as doing... I would not be able to live with it. I guess it sucks to have a conscience.
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